Rethuglican Warmongrels

“It Was Like Watching a Horror Film”

No. Not an Obama press conference or Islamic militants marching toward Baghdad.

A vicious, horrific, MERCILESS…beaver attack.

Beaver viciously attacks kayaker

More proof that beavers are scarier than sharks: A kayaker in Upstate New York was hospitalized after being attacked by a beaver in Irondequoit Creek last week.

Michael Cavanaugh was knocked into the water when the beaver jumped out of the creek and started mauling him, biting him on his back and arm.

“I heard my name called out from the shop and I ran out the door to see a guy getting pulled into the water,” a trainer at BayCreek Paddling Center tells WHAM.

“It was like watching a horror film.” Cavanaugh was able to get to the dock, but the beaver wouldn’t let go, so the trainer started hitting him with a paddle until the paddle broke and the beaver finally retreated.

“He kind of disappeared for a few seconds but came back up so I hit him again,” the trainer says.

“It’s absolutely first of a kind,” says the paddling center’s owner, adding that “the beaver was upset for some reason, we don’t know.”

Probably got told he had to give back his ObamaCare subsidy.

Note to self: stay out of ponds.

LEAVE Hillary ALONE!

You THINK she can’t handle you media LAPDOGS with your PULING little questions?

DON’T EVER FORGET: She REMEMBERS, like the corners of her mind, facing SOMETHING MUCH WORSE…

Looks Like We Got Us A Situation Here

Ah, the joys of a family business

MIDDLETOWN – Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino has been arrested and charged with simple assault at the Boca Tanning Club he owns with his family here.

Police got a 911 emergency call at 2:10 p.m. Tuesday and arrested Sorrentino, said Detective Lt. Steve Dollinger.

Sorrentino was released after posting $500 bail. No court date has been set, Dollinger said.

Dollinger declined to identify who Sorrentino was fighting.

However, TMZ reported that the fight was between former MTV ‘Jersey Shore’ star Sorrentino and his brother, Frank. Only minor injuries were reported, Dollinger said.

Ah well, we live to entertain here in Jersey, we really do.

Barf Bags at the Ready?

Now watch…

They Thought They’d Signed Up For Methicaid Plan B

Why should seniors only get government aid for prescription drugs?

Police Discover Possible Meth Lab in Retirement Community
He was pulled over for a traffic violation on Saturday night, but when police in Fresno, Calif., searched the vehicle of Robert Short, 64, they discovered a variety of drug-related items. And when they searched his apartment at a retirement community, they found even more.

Police looked through Short’s car, Sgt. Jaime Rios said, and found scales, packaging materials and plastic bags filled with “a large amount” of methamphetamine.

When investigators searched Short’s apartment at the California League-Fresno Village retirement community — a large apartment complex for low-income seniors — they found what they suspected was heroin and paperwork related to drug sales. They also found a jar that contained 8.6 ounces of what Rios described as meth that appeared to be “in the earlier stages” of production.

Specialized task force members were called to the apartment, Rios said, and “based on what they saw, they believed the suspect was possibly manufacturing meth.”

Some People You Want Cheering For You

And some you’d just as soon kept their traps shut.

@markknoller Oh, #PivotToSoccer How inspiring. #YouGuysAreToastNow @ussoccer

— tree hugging sister (@treehuggingsis) June 16, 2014

A Statement From the National Border Patrol Council

WHAT a frickin’ MESS.

The Rio Grande Valley Sector of the United State Border Patrol is currently experiencing record high numbers of unaccompanied juveniles and Other Than Mexicans (OTMs). These apprehensions are straining a border enforcement system due to the additional regulations, laws, and court decisions that apply to apprehended juveniles and OTMs.

Nearly half of all Border Patrol agents assigned to the Rio Grande Valley are working at duties that would not be considered to be law enforcement. These duties include feeding, clothing, and watching after children. These duties are slowly being taken over by FEMA and other governmental groups, but still leave a small group of agents protecting our borders. The cartels know this and have been actively exploiting the situation. Cartels are forcing juveniles and illegal aliens to cross the border in between the ports of entries because it further ties up Border Patrol agents in the field. In effect, cartels are using these immigrants as a human shield to divert resources that would otherwise be spent interrupting their trafficking operations. Once the agents are taken out of the equation, the cartels are smuggling drugs, weapons, and special interest aliens across the border unfettered. At a time when agents are most needed to deal with the cartel threat, they are unavailable because they are either dealing with a tidal wave of humanity by either arresting juveniles and families in the field or by processing them in the stations.

Border Patrol agents have been dealing with a very difficult situation in exemplary fashion. The humanity and compassion shown to these children and families is unrivaled. Agents are not abusing them, mocking them, or neglecting them, contrary to what many special interest groups are saying. In fact, many Border Patrol agents have helped care for these aliens even at personal expense. These dedicated public servants have gone above and beyond the call of duty to care for these individuals while ensuring the laws of the United States are enforced.

This situation, which started due to violence and dire economic conditions in Central America, has now exploded due to the message being relayed that the immigration laws of the United States are not being enforced.

Interviews with detainees reflect this and this situation will continue if there are not consequences for breaking the immigration laws of the United States. We cannot continue to release detainees, even with the goal of deporting them in the future, if we hope to stop the flow of illegal aliens through the Rio Grande Valley.

Mandatory detention and deportation is the only consequence that will resolve the problem.

We’re with you guys. Shame your fearless leader isn’t.

Oh Zoinks

Casey Kasem has died.

RIP Shaggy.

What to Say?

Iraqi Christian children gather inside the Church of the Virgin Mary for prayers in Bartala, east of Mosul pic.twitter.com/JoodXFIfkZ

— Agence France-Presse (@AFP) June 15, 2014

I’m not the type who could, oh, go golfing if I was responsible for these people being slaughtered eventually.

That Mitt Romney

What a dumbass, time and again, huh?

When you step into the voting booth, remember what Mitt Romney thought of bringing our troops home from Iraq: pic.twitter.com/M5n6nEQu

— OFA TruthTeam (@OFATruthTeam) November 5, 2012

The very few times I’m unlucky enough to be behind a faded Obama ’12 sticker on the way to work ~ once the blinding fog of rage and disgust passes ~ all I want to do is ask that individual…gently, of course…WHAT was IN IT FOR THEM?

Because they sure didn’t cast that vote FOR THIS COUNTRY.

Obama Boasted In 2012 That His Policies Have “Al-Qaeda On The Run”…

Yep, they’re running all over Iraq

ISIS butchers leave ‘roads lined with decapitated police and soldiers’: Battle for Baghdad looms as thousands answer Iraqi government’s call to arms and jihadists bear down on capital
U.S. today changed tone on intervention; President Obama said: ‘I don’t rule out anything… Iraq will need more help’
Crucial vote to grant emergency powers was delayed because MPs did not turn up, leaving Iraqi government paralysed
Disruption in Iraq could add 2p to the price of a litre of petrol within a fortnight as ISIS insurgents take key oil fields
Kurdish forces are in full control of Iraq’s oil city of Kirkuk after the federal army abandoned their posts
Iran has sent special forces and a unit of elite troops to Iraq to assist the Iraqi government halt the advance
Iraqi air force is bombing insurgent positions in and around Mosul – 1.3million citizens still remain in the city
Middle East experts raised the prospect of Iraq being carved into three – Kurdish, Sunni and Shiite – by the conflict

Smartest Bestest Prez EVUH

I’m Assuming He Didn’t Get Eaten

…because there was too much poo in the water…

…if you get my drift.

Why Have an Expensive Cell Phone Plan

…when you can just use the ones you’ve looted from the people you’re in the process of murdering?

ESPECIALLY when you’re PRET-TEE sure, even if you’re overheard, ain’t NOBODY coming to help these poor souls…

US spy agencies heard Benghazi attackers using State Dept. cell phones to call terrorist leaders

The terrorists who attacked the U.S. consulate and CIA annex in Benghazi on September 11, 2012 used cell phones, seized from State Department personnel during the attacks, and U.S. spy agencies overheard them contacting more senior terrorist leaders to report on the success of the operation, multiple sources confirmed to Fox News.

The disclosure is important because it adds to the body of evidence establishing that senior U.S. officials in the Obama administration knew early on that Benghazi was a terrorist attack, and not a spontaneous protest over an anti-Islam video that had gone awry, as the administration claimed for several weeks after the attacks.

And, as always, Vote Hillary! SHE’S (got the knife in) YOUR BACK!

Our Modern Pericles

He continues to inspire

On Tuesday, Obama took another shot at liberal arts students, suggesting that he only majored in humanities because he “misspent” his high school years.

During a Q&A hosted by Tumblr, one user asked Obama how America could “promote growth in STEM fields without putting humanities on the back burner.”

“First of all,” Obama began, “I want to say, I was a humanities major. So I majored in political science and minored in English.”

But according to Obama, those majors blossomed from a desire to slack off during high school. “I actually loved math and science until I got into high school,” he reminisced, “and then I misspent those years.
And the thing about the humanities was, you could kind of talk your way through classes, which you couldn’t do in math and science, right?”

That sort of sums up his Presidency, doesn’t it?

Rest In Peace, Dear Sweet Boy

At about 3:20 am this morning we lost our love

We are beyond devastated and I have no idea how I will function today

I can’t write anything else.

Great Guns

We got the chance last week to spend a few days in Norfolk. What a pleasant city (at least the extremely small portion of it that we saw). The weather was just wonderful, and we got to see the parade of ships coming in on Friday for the past weekend’s HarborFest, including most movingly the USS Cole.

Later on Friday we spent a good deal of time walking onboard the USS Wisconsin, which is permanently anchored there.

She’s a big damn hunk of metal

And the 16″ guns reminded my Bride of my biceps, naturally

well, maybe not so much.

A retired sailor who was serving as a resource for folks told us that the teak decking served to keep the ship about 10 degrees cooler below decks than they would have been had they been metal, and with no ac they needed all the help.

One neat thing they had scattered about were a variety of posters from her last cruise in the very eary 90s

Now that is some funny stuff right there.

Well worth your time if you’re in the area.

Note to Goober:

150 sharks in the water changes the dynamic.

Anyway, come on down, y’all. The water’s fine and there’ll soon be LOTS of room to put YOUR towel out on the sugar sands, since I guess the crowd’s gonna thin out some.

Nothing Would Be More Apropos Than Birmingham as Site of the 2016 Democratic National Convention

Considering how it sits in Jefferson County, which was the largest municipal bankruptcy prior to Detroit going under.

It’s perfect analogy for everything the Democrats have done and want to do. You GO, Debbie!

Revisiting Those Beaches, Those Killing Fields

…scene by scene, 70 years later.

It proves how blessed we all are that there were such men.

70 Years Ago

Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.

The “Greatest Generation” is still hang gliding in there…

French Reporter: Did it remind you? Of when you jumped 70 years ago?

PeeWee: No, no. ‘Cause there wasn’t anybody shootin’ at me.

…and teaching us all about courage, humility and grace.

Yes, You’re Right

It’s ALL ABOUT HIM.

White House braced for Bowe Bergdahl backlash

…White House aides were aware Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl had been tagged a deserter, and that they would be grilled over not keeping Congress in the loop. But they figured people would be most outraged over the national security implications.

The White House has been surprised by how much attention has remained on the questions about Bergdahl, from the circumstances of his disappearance to the wild beard his father grew while he was being held that’s even led to Bergdahl’s hometown canceling a celebration.

All this, Obama aides say, is in their minds a proxy for the hatred toward the president.

Nothing to do with the fact that Bergdahl is an INVESTIGATED and DOCUMENTED deserter (only question is “why?”) or that YOUR administration has muzzled his unit mates for FIVE YEARS.

It’s that we hate YOU.

It’s ALWAYS YOU.

Layers Of Editors, Part MCMLVIX

On CNN they have the sad story of an Intel Exec who apparently has died on Mt. Rainier.

Unfortunately their algorithm for automatically adding links of related stories (to raise those ‘click-through’ bucks) chose the link you see near the bottom of the screencap below:

Oops…

Maverick Nails This One

.@SenJohnMcCain: "Mullah Omar has his Cabinet back."

— Bill Hemmer (@BillHemmer) June 3, 2014

The Washington Times has an exclusive up that there WERE guys who knew Bergdahl wasn’t worth risking any more lives: SpecOps wouldn’t go after him.

EXCLUSIVE: Pentagon knew Bergdahl’s whereabouts but didn’t risk rescue for ‘deserter’
Special operations troops deemed too valuable to lose

The Pentagon on several occasions had ground-level intelligence on where ArmySgt. Bowe Bergdahl was being held captive at various times — down to how many gunmen were guarding him — but special operations commanders repeatedly shelved rescue missions because they didn’t want to risk casualties for a man they believed to be a “deserter,” sources familiar with the mission plans said.

Commanders on the ground debated whether to pull the trigger on a rescue several times in recent years, according to one of the sources, a former high-level intelligence official in Afghanistan, who said the conclusion each time was that the prospect of losing highly trained troops was too high a price to pay for rescuing a soldier who walked away from his unit before being captured by the enemy.

Seems they had the measure of the situation even then. President Pivot and his gang of liars failed to realize despite all the sugar-coating rah-rah, troops have the measure of it NOW:

Anger explodes over treatment of Bergdahl’s release as veterans, troops call him a deserter

…Angry commentators took special aim at National Security Adviser Susan Rice’s televised remarks Sunday that Bergdahl “served the United States with honor and distinction.” They also bristled at Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel’s surprise visit Sunday to Afghanistan, where he praised the operation that freed Bergdahl but never mentioned the desertion issue before an audience of U.S. service members who undoubtedly have seen the debate swirling around the case.

Even military voices warning against trying Bergdahl in the court of public opinion say the Obama administration owes its enlisted men and women more transparency.

“Hagel hopped up on stage saying, ‘Oh, it’s a great day. We got him back.’ Crickets. Crickets,” said Fred Wellman, a retired lieutenant colonel who as spokesman for Army Gen. David Petraeus in Iraq handled the communications on many crises that reflected poorly on the U.S. military.

Because I Am A Senile Moron

Thanks goodness for our good friend Mark in the comments below he reminds us of one of the top Juan Carlos moments: when he told Chavez to shut up

which gladdened the hearts of folks all over the world (and became our “Go-To” phrase here at the office) and led to this delightfully-illustrated ditty: