y’all can thank me later.
…it’s still kind of surprising I got tabbed as The Magician:
You make the impossible happen. You See things (with a capital S), everything from people’s true colors to the obscure Easter eggs hidden in cult TV shows. Others see magic where you see the invisible matrix of how it works.
Yeah. That’s me in a nutshell, emphasis on the nut.
Yep, I’m at the airport bar.
There is one country more hated than the US in Latin America
Sensitive, concerned type that I am I wake up before my alarm goes off (at just shy of 4 in the morning) 9 days out of 10, well more like 19 out of 20, really, and shut it off so as not to disturb my Bride’s blissful slumber. After all these years of doing this I just wake up, no alarm required.
This morning being no exception, I clicked off the alarm and got in the shower as always.
I was rather surprised a few moments later to hear my Bride’s voice saying “um, you do realize that it is 2:52 am, not 3:52?”
I hates when I does that.
What better way to celebrate than with Australian wine?
A masterpiece followed by one of the greatest acts of courage and sacrifice imaginable.
And so it WAS and still IS.
Happy Fourth of July!!
…or someone will mock you unmercifully.
So 'splain to me how my little Mort is building her 2D nest in as many mths but not a fella caller since LAST YEAR. pic.twitter.com/4LUKePDSnx
— tree hugging sister (@treehuggingsis) July 1, 2014
If, on TOP of FIVE DOGS, I now get to look forward to babysitting fifty-two infant terrapins, my attitude will be undergoing a serious readjustment.
— Oscar Mayer (@oscarmayer) June 25, 2014
Wait ’til I tell them my “Bingley! Bingley! Bingley!” stories from growing up.
There won’t be a dry eye at corporate headquarters. They might even crowd-source a recovery fund for me.
Whapped him “in the head with a musical instrument” and now he’s emotionally scarred for life…SHEESH.
I’m not quite sure how this works:
Buy one, get one free…no purchase necessary?
Let the gator move his own self.
Or just drive around him.
I’m sitting at the bar at Jamians in Red Bank waiting for Gregor.
And a guy buys me a shot.
Because he couldn’t buy one for the waitress.
No. Not an Obama press conference or Islamic militants marching toward Baghdad.
A vicious, horrific, MERCILESS…beaver attack.
Beaver viciously attacks kayaker
More proof that beavers are scarier than sharks: A kayaker in Upstate New York was hospitalized after being attacked by a beaver in Irondequoit Creek last week.
Michael Cavanaugh was knocked into the water when the beaver jumped out of the creek and started mauling him, biting him on his back and arm.
“I heard my name called out from the shop and I ran out the door to see a guy getting pulled into the water,” a trainer at BayCreek Paddling Center tells WHAM.
“It was like watching a horror film.” Cavanaugh was able to get to the dock, but the beaver wouldn’t let go, so the trainer started hitting him with a paddle until the paddle broke and the beaver finally retreated.
“He kind of disappeared for a few seconds but came back up so I hit him again,” the trainer says.
“It’s absolutely first of a kind,” says the paddling center’s owner, adding that “the beaver was upset for some reason, we don’t know.”
Probably got told he had to give back his ObamaCare subsidy.
Note to self: stay out of ponds.
You THINK she can’t handle you media LAPDOGS with your PULING little questions?
DON’T EVER FORGET: She REMEMBERS, like the corners of her mind, facing SOMETHING MUCH WORSE…
Ah, the joys of a family business
MIDDLETOWN – Michael “The Situation” Sorrentino has been arrested and charged with simple assault at the Boca Tanning Club he owns with his family here.
Police got a 911 emergency call at 2:10 p.m. Tuesday and arrested Sorrentino, said Detective Lt. Steve Dollinger.
Sorrentino was released after posting $500 bail. No court date has been set, Dollinger said.
Dollinger declined to identify who Sorrentino was fighting.
However, TMZ reported that the fight was between former MTV ‘Jersey Shore’ star Sorrentino and his brother, Frank. Only minor injuries were reported, Dollinger said.
Ah well, we live to entertain here in Jersey, we really do.