Category: Fun

50 Years Ago Tonight, Theaters Went Dark

And MAGIC happened.

WHY the Responsible Adult in Your Family ALWAYS Told You To:

BUCKLE UP FOR SAFETY

The. HORROR.

The Quality Of The Local Criminals Has Sadly Deteriorated

Since I left town

Police: Man created black ice to mask drunken driving crash
Published February 17, 2015Associated Press

SPARTA, N.J. – A man poured water onto a freezing road to try to fool officers into thinking the cause of his drunken car crash was black ice, police say.

Twenty-year-old Bryan Byers, of Sparta, was arrested Saturday and charged with drunken driving and other offenses.

Authorities say he hit a guardrail after running a stop sign in a BMW early that morning.

Shortly after the crash, police said, 20-year-old Alexander Zambenedetti, a friend of Byers’, showed up in his own car. The two men then dumped 5-gallon buckets of water onto the road to create black ice, police said.

…Authorities say Byers confessed to the plan. They noticed skid marks were visible under the thin layer of ice at the intersection.

Creative, I’ll grant, but yeah, the skid marks being under the ice were probably something of a give-away to their cunning plan.

Quote Of The Day

An Old friend said this to me recently on IM

dude that movie is all you. its kind of cerebral but with an underlying raunchiness

I really can’t argue with that.

I Missed This Last Night

Looks like it was a great show!

(via Ace)

No Photo Op This Year…

…for last year’s Groundhog murderer DeBlasio

I Find It Humorous…

…that the weather forecasters who were hyperventilating “ZOMG we’re all going to DIE!!!!!” when we got 8″ of snow last week are all “Yeah what-EV” about the 6-12″ we’re supposed to get on Monday.

A Concentration Of Power That…

…MUST be broken up

these four companies control what is – to some – the most precious commodity in the world… world whiskey production

The chart is frightening.

Fight Big Booze!

Well That Was A Bit Under-Whelming

We only got about 8″, about half of what we were *guaranteed* to get just a few hours prior. Now don’t get me wrong: if they’re going to blow a forecast this is definitely the direction I want them to screw it up in.

But it does make me hope that someone somewhere will stop just for half a second a think that, just perhaps, if all the billions of dollars of fancy equipment and thousands of PhDs focused on the weather can’t get it right for TOMORROW then maybe they sorta kinda maybe shouldn’t be so 100% sure that they can declare with Absolute Consensus what’s going to happen over the next 100 years.

I am personally thankful for this mistake, however, as it allowed me to have this for breakfast

schneefood

before I went out and cleaned off the cars, driveway, and sidewalk.

The Patriots’ Balls

Via Ace’s sidebar, this is a very interesting article looking at the amazing lack of fumbles by the Patriots over the past few years; read the whole thing and watch the video

I actually went back and researched 5 year periods for the entire NFL over the last 25 years. The Patriots ratio of 187 plays to 1 fumble is the BEST of ANY team in the NFL for ANY 5 year span of time over the last 25 years. Not was it just the best, it wasn’t close

It’s uncanny really, and ranks right up there with Hillary’s cattle-trading prowess, and it certainly reinforces the case that the Patriots have been cheating for a long time.

But as a big fan of Occam it seems to me there is a simpler reason for this seemingly amazing hand strength that the Patriots’ display:

They’re such wankers.

On THIS Day, On the Mud Floor of a Hut in Kenya

…a little baby was born.

the REST is…um…

…history, right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Bingley!!!

Really.

We love you.

Breakfast Bourbon

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And pork roll

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Filed Under: Things Even 12 Year-Old Girls Know

Proving YET AGAIN that our Fearless Leader and his Le Grande Toadie, the Secretary of State, are as spectacularly tone-deaf as any fence post in America, John Kerry heads over to France to make nice for dissing the millions who marched for freedom and against Islamic murderers…and brings JAMES TAYLOR to warble “You’ve Got a Friend”. GTFO, right? Shameful as it is, it’s true. James. Taylor.

When anybody and EVERYBODY (including Obama, if he’d bother to read the entertainment section of the paper) KNOWS how to musically go STRAIGHT to EVERY Frenchmen’s…EVERY EUROPEAN’S (!!)…heart.

Yeah. The. Hoff.

And the whole of the Continent is eating fromage from your palm.

Mission accompli. DUH.

ROLL OUT THE BARREL!

I feel a polka coming on!

ths update: In response to JeffS’s patent disappointment in the comments, here’s video of MORE protesters with different restraint accouterments being removed. :)

Love is In the Air

Everywhere I look around…

Sure hope they have that AllState vehicle claims app I’m always seeing on TV.

Spam Of The Day

From my good friend “cheap louis vuiton”

A large percentage of of whatever you mention is astonishingly accurate and that makes me ponder the reason why I hadn’t looked at this with this light previously. This particular piece truly did switch the light on for me as far as this particular subject goes. However there is actually just one factor I am not necessarily too comfortable with and while I attempt to reconcile that with the main theme of your point, let me observe just what the rest of your readers have to say.Well done.

A rather perceptive fellow Dear Cheap is.

This Is Brilliant

via the very funny Hope n’Change Cartoons

jfkcharlie

I’ve ALWAYS Called Him “MY Aaron” But After Today?

I think he’s AMERICA’S. ;)

Merry Christmas!

The Editors Have Been Sacked

And well they should have: via ZeroHedge take a gander at Thursday’s “News-Enterprise,” which claims to be “serving” Hardin County, Kentucky:

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As Insta would say, “layers and layers of Fact Checkers”

No reasonable excuse exists for the horrible mistake that occurred Thursday in The News-Enterprise. By now, many of you have heard about it.

The paper reported on the front page in a paraphrased statement: “Hardin County Sheriff John Ward said those who go into the law enforcement profession typically do it because they have a desire to shoot minorities.”

Sheriff Ward is not responsible for the statement. He said nothing of the sort.

A retraction and apology has been printed Friday on Page A1. As community members and neighbors, we feel it is important to repeat this apology again publicly to Sheriff John Ward, the entire law enforcement community and to you, our readers.

We share the outrage and disgust expressed by many of you.

Internally, the newspaper leadership spent yesterday researching this error, discovering the form it took and taking corrective action. As a result, the two people involved were fired.

Reporter Anna Taylor, whose name was on the story, is not responsible for this error.

Many of Thursday’s upset callers asked the same question: “Doesn’t anyone proof your newspaper?”

Well, surprisingly that’s where the error took place. A function and process designed to rid the news pages of error instead added a terrible one that altered the reporter’s original sentence. No reasonable excuse can exist.

It takes years to develop trust. It takes only seconds to destroy it.

We understand our credibility may be called into question but the sheriff should not be subjected to the same scrutiny.

Again, no excuse. The newspaper asks only for your understanding. Our staff will strive to recapture your respect and earn your faith anew.

Hats-off to editor Ben Sheroan for his prompt page A-1 response.

The NYT could learn some things from him.

Well, He Did Play For The Dolphins

His friends call him “Flipper”

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Former Miami Dolphins fullback Rob Konrad swam nine miles back to shore after falling off his boat while fishing off the South Florida coast.

The U.S. Coast Guard reports that Konrad had gone fishing alone Wednesday after being dropped off at a Boca Raton dock. Friends became concerned after he didn’t meet them for dinner, and the Coast Guard later sent a helicopter to look for him.

The Coast Guard said Konrad apparently fell off the 36-foot boat, which had been on auto pilot. Unable to get back to the boat, Konrad began swimming toward shore. He made it some time after 4 a.m. Thursday and contacted the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

Public Service Announcement

Yahoo is the crappiest email system there is.

That is all.

So I Get Back from Vacation

And this is what greets me on our home email account

email

Jeebus.

Regarding the Tragic Evisceration That Took Place Last Night

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