Category: Fun

You Know, Every Time I Think NJ Is A Real Mess I Remember…

…that there are places like California or Florida

A Florida man named Phuc Kieu tried to sexually assault and rob a man on Sunday, the Gainesville Sun reported.

Kieu — more formally Phuc X. Kieu — was watching gay porn on a portable DVD player in his car when a second man walked by after withdrawing $220 from an ATM, according to local authorities.

and then I really don’t feel so bad.

Dude

It was SUMPTHIN’.

Spam Of The Day

Or at least I think it’s spam

I lustrous up the whole cup OF white-colored wine beverage by myself ahead we all hit the exact bar council! going to had perhaps 3 double vodka and water at a drink station and a few well known look.

It may in fact be the transcript of my weekend.

Even SNL Is Starting To Wake Up

It’s pretty accurate, brutal…and about 6 years too late.

Update: meh, I see NBC has blocked the video. Oh well, it’s also here.

Teach Seals Not To Rape

Every time I think about our government I feel like a penguin

Things are heating up in the cold climes of the sub-Antarctic. On a remote, and mostly desolate island, seals have been caught engaging in an extreme form of sexual behaviour.

Specifically, they have been trying to have sex with penguins.

More than one fur seal has been caught in the act, on more than one occasion.
And it’s all been captured on film, with details being published in the journal Polar Biology.

The video, well, you have been warned…

“Don’t Cry”

“Obama will still give you free condoms.”

Wabs Are Just The Bestest

I admit it, this (via Ace) brought back memories and I cried. But what a schweet fun loving boy!

The full-bore belly giggles from the child are priceless.

Had Some Wet Snow Last Night

Very very nice to see.

I lurves me some Winter.

BREAKING NEWS

Shame it didn’t have a remote start feature…

Some Things in France Don’t Change

Somebody’s pet gets loose near EuroDisney…

Town: Tiger on loose spotted near Disneyland Paris

PARIS (AP) — French police are using a helicopter to search for a young tiger which was said to be on the loose near Disneyland Paris.

…Town authorities said in a statement that police and rescue squads are on the scene and had roped off a security perimeter.

…and then it all goes Medieval.

…In addition to the helicopter, police have drafted in a wolf-catcher to aid in the search, Seine-et-Marne authorities said.

Ten Degrees On Mt. Washington This Morning

Damn.

Time to break out the wool boxers.

Mort Would KICK. My. Ass.

But she’d look like Gandalf!

Maybe if I approach it from that angle…

Happy 239th Birthday to My Beloved…

UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS!


~ Our Gramps

OO-RAH and Semper Fi!

ths update: I thought I’d run the finest commercial EVER made past you all again as well. Brings tears to my eyes EVERY time.

Exactly. How I LOVE my Marine Corps.

Don’t Tell Sis

The excitement might be too much for her.

Ha!

I just lurve it when some Show-Boater gets their comeuppance.

Insta Down?

Oh Noessss!

So For Halloween This Year…

I thought I’d go to the office dressed as a doofy white guy.

I’ve been working on this costume for 50+ years now…

Oh, SNAP

Pound and a half of Hershey’s Special dark, here I COME!

Compound in cocoa found to reverse age-related memory loss

In case anyone needed another reason to love chocolate, a new study suggests that a natural compound found in cocoa, tea and some vegetables can reverse age-related memory loss.

The findings suggest that the compound increases connectivity and, subsequently, blood flow in a region of the brain critical to memory, the researchers said.

The study — published online Sunday in Nature Neuroscience and partly financed by a chocolate company — found that flavanols reverse mild memory loss in older adults. Using brain scans and memory tests, the latest study built on previous work showing that flavanols extracted from cocoa beans had improved neuronal connections in mice’s dentate gyrus, a part of the brain involved in memory formation.

Ignore the bit about “gorging backfiring”. I think they’re exaggerating.

The Local Fish Wrap Has a Name on This Morning’s Police Blotter We Did Not Expect

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Arrested for burglary. Address unknown.

We’re doomed.

Obama’s Ebola Czar At Work

(via Legal Insurrection)

Filed Under: Why I Haven’t Had Time to Help Bingley With Much Posting

What you don’t do for your kids:

We’ve been babysitting Ebola’s two schweet pups since mid-February. They WERE supposed to go to Guam with him first of May…but…they didn’t, thanks to our miserable casa de major dad luck and general government inefficiency. It hasn’t been a picnic. We TRIED the Caesar Milan, holistic, peace love and happiness route, and NONE of it worked.

Since his eldest and our eldest HATE each other, we have spent these past 8+ months (after two dog fights that cost $1300+ to stitch up the participants) living in shifts, with a 4 ft cage in our bedroom and one in the livingroom. Our day starts about 5:30 a.m., with me on the couch after letting our guys out. Get up about 7:30, feed our guys, get them OUTSIDE. While they’re OUTSIDE, I let HIS guys out of the cage in our bedroom and into the cage in the LR. Then OUR guys can come IN and go straight into being locked in our bedroom (and DON’T they appreciate that) for the next 1 1/2 hours while the granddogs eat, stretch their legs and do dog things. Then THEY get locked up again, and our guys, frantic by now, get let out. It’s lather, rinse, repeat all day. We can’t go out at night, because everybody has to eat and stretch their legs, too. So IF we went out for an adult time, we’d still have to stay up another hour at least when we got home, to let the grandkids out. Not fair to them otherwise.

Our two month granddog babysitting has stretched to the start of its 9th month. “HOW could that BE?” any sane person would ask. Welp, here’s a rundown of just our day YESTERDAY, TRYING to get puppies to their Daddy.

Ebola had called last Thursday to ask if we could get the dogs to him prior to the 25th, since the base pet lodge (where they do their quarantine) was closing for renovations. Being a holiday weekend, we can’t call OUR base vet ’til yesterday and they work miracles to get us in. Just before I leave work to help major dad wrangle doggies, I’m looking at Accuweather for P-cola and notice “Possible Direct Hurricane Strike for Hawaii This Weekend!” Just our luck. The dogs have to go through ~ and spend the night in ~ Honolulu. I shake it off and we get everyone to our precious base vets. Done. Every puppy certificate you’d need, we had in our hot little hands, along with an email that the admin girl had JUST found about that SAME pet lodge closing…on the 20th. W.T.F. (It did, however, also contain an alternate civilian kennel for arriving pets.) We hustle home in a state of semi-agitation, since I still had to fax ALL the paperwork to Guam Agri Dept AND the lodge, as it takes THEM up to 3 days from receiving it to send back an entry visa and the well dog is ONLY GOOD FOR TEN DAYS. (See where we’re going with times crunches here?) I’m looking for the fax number and BOOM. You have to fax well dog certs…AND the flight and kennel reservation info AT THE SAME TIME. Whichy I no have, because we don’t know squat about kennels until we can talk to Ebola…who is 9 hours behind the day ahead, time-wise. So asleep, after working swing shifts.

Being marginally efficient, I start making just-in-case plans for the drive to New Orleans Airport (United out of there has the most direct flight plan) with the dogs and their crates, which will require a minivan rental. Lock that sucker on for start of next week. Start double checking all the doggie info on United’s site, which is REALLY informative. Now, Achilles is a pretty little guy ~ only 68 pounds and small framed ~ but his ears sit up a country mile, so I want to make sure I have the regulations clear. We’ve got a hand-me-down crate in the garage that, while humongous, seems to be the only thing that’ll work for him, because his ears sit 33 in off the floor and this crate is 35 in. high. It’s like he’s going in the Presidential Suite. And then BOOM. That crate is known as a “700” and what ~ according to the chart ~ is the ONLY airplane United has that CAN’T carry a 700? A 737. I frantically zip over to the flight info for the NOLA departure. OF COURSE ~ it’s a 737 from NOLA to Houston. I call United’s PetSafe just to be sure. Awesome.

WhenEVER the dogs DO get to leave, we get to DRIVE them TO HOUSTON to catch the jet plane. Now we’re talking TWO DAYS, since it’s 525+ miles one way.

I think Ebola’s about coming out of his post-work coma and send him a FB message to call us. He does and that’s AFTER reading the copy of the pet lodge email, calling THEM, unloading with “WHY couldn’t you MENTION THAT TO ME when I talked to you two days ago?!?!” and hearing, “Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s just not going to take as long as we thought, so we just went ahead sooner…” We do a cursory search for the civilian kennel they’re shunting you over to, as Brat’s never heard of them. Of COURSE they require a bordatella vaccine of 6 months or less and OUR dogs ~ who were at the vets that very day ~ have a 7 month-old one. Just. Shoot. Me. Not to mention that their fees are significantly more and, as a civilian facility, they don’t have the liability for stuff that might happen to your precious pups, which is a legitimate concern, considering that dogs go missing in Guam on a regular basis and NOT because they slipped a leash or got out through the fence on their own, if you get my drift.

What a crap sandwich.

So, we wait. Can’t take them for the additional shot (w/ base vets closed Fri and Mon) until we know more about THAT kennel, if we even want to chance it, or if they’re not booked anyway. Will there be space on the plane once we have a date? Will minivan rental rates soar in the interim? Will Hawaii be cleaned up in time for their airport schedule to be back to normal? AND. Have to have enough time left on our 10 days certificate to wait the 3 WORKING days to get an answer back from Guam.

Or blow the whole thing off and do the drill around 10 November when base opens.

That’s a taste of what it means to be uno amigo de casa de major dad. If it’s not a disaster, you can’t POSSIBLY be talking about us.

Spam Of The Day

My relatives always say that I am killing my time here at net,
but I know I am getting experience daily by reading such fastidious articles or reviews.

YES!!! Now I Can Work On Building My Collection…

I’m off to offer a low-ball bid

(Reuters) – A federal judge in California announced a $30 million settlement on Friday between the United States and a vice president of Equatorial Guinea that requires him to forfeit his U.S. assets, including a collection of six life-sized statues of late singer Michael Jackson.

Teodoro Nguema Obiang, the Central African country’s second vice president, used his position of power to amass more than $300 million in the United States through corruption and money laundering, U.S. prosecutors said in court documents.

Obiang must also sell his mansion in Malibu, California, and his Ferrari, which the Justice Department said were bought with money looted from the impoverished country.

The United States was blocked from forcing Obiang to forfeit his assets in Equatorial Guinea, including a Gulfstream jet and Jackson’s famous white, crystal glove.

Angry Birds

It’s not nice to piss off Mother Nature

CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – A hawk swooping in and attacking a drone while it was flying over a park in Massachusetts Wednesday was captured on video.

Let’s hope this happens more often.

Quote Of The Day

An interview with Archie Manning

Way back when, Archie Manning never had a chance to learn the cerebral part of football while quarterbacking the sad-sack New Orleans Saints; he was too busy running for his life. “I’m paying for it now, too,” he said.

He’s 65 and coming off knee replacement and back fusion surgeries. Archie doesn’t even like to hold a football anymore, he said, “because every time I had a football in my hands some, I got hit.

Heh.

Image | WordPress Themes