Category: Fun

Well That Was A Bit Under-Whelming

We only got about 8″, about half of what we were *guaranteed* to get just a few hours prior. Now don’t get me wrong: if they’re going to blow a forecast this is definitely the direction I want them to screw it up in.

But it does make me hope that someone somewhere will stop just for half a second a think that, just perhaps, if all the billions of dollars of fancy equipment and thousands of PhDs focused on the weather can’t get it right for TOMORROW then maybe they sorta kinda maybe shouldn’t be so 100% sure that they can declare with Absolute Consensus what’s going to happen over the next 100 years.

I am personally thankful for this mistake, however, as it allowed me to have this for breakfast

schneefood

before I went out and cleaned off the cars, driveway, and sidewalk.

The Patriots’ Balls

Via Ace’s sidebar, this is a very interesting article looking at the amazing lack of fumbles by the Patriots over the past few years; read the whole thing and watch the video

I actually went back and researched 5 year periods for the entire NFL over the last 25 years. The Patriots ratio of 187 plays to 1 fumble is the BEST of ANY team in the NFL for ANY 5 year span of time over the last 25 years. Not was it just the best, it wasn’t close

It’s uncanny really, and ranks right up there with Hillary’s cattle-trading prowess, and it certainly reinforces the case that the Patriots have been cheating for a long time.

But as a big fan of Occam it seems to me there is a simpler reason for this seemingly amazing hand strength that the Patriots’ display:

They’re such wankers.

On THIS Day, On the Mud Floor of a Hut in Kenya

…a little baby was born.

the REST is…um…

…history, right?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Bingley!!!

Really.

We love you.

Breakfast Bourbon

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And pork roll

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Filed Under: Things Even 12 Year-Old Girls Know

Proving YET AGAIN that our Fearless Leader and his Le Grande Toadie, the Secretary of State, are as spectacularly tone-deaf as any fence post in America, John Kerry heads over to France to make nice for dissing the millions who marched for freedom and against Islamic murderers…and brings JAMES TAYLOR to warble “You’ve Got a Friend”. GTFO, right? Shameful as it is, it’s true. James. Taylor.

When anybody and EVERYBODY (including Obama, if he’d bother to read the entertainment section of the paper) KNOWS how to musically go STRAIGHT to EVERY Frenchmen’s…EVERY EUROPEAN’S (!!)…heart.

Yeah. The. Hoff.

And the whole of the Continent is eating fromage from your palm.

Mission accompli. DUH.

ROLL OUT THE BARREL!

I feel a polka coming on!

ths update: In response to JeffS’s patent disappointment in the comments, here’s video of MORE protesters with different restraint accouterments being removed. :)

Love is In the Air

Everywhere I look around…

Sure hope they have that AllState vehicle claims app I’m always seeing on TV.

Spam Of The Day

From my good friend “cheap louis vuiton”

A large percentage of of whatever you mention is astonishingly accurate and that makes me ponder the reason why I hadn’t looked at this with this light previously. This particular piece truly did switch the light on for me as far as this particular subject goes. However there is actually just one factor I am not necessarily too comfortable with and while I attempt to reconcile that with the main theme of your point, let me observe just what the rest of your readers have to say.Well done.

A rather perceptive fellow Dear Cheap is.

This Is Brilliant

via the very funny Hope n’Change Cartoons

jfkcharlie

I’ve ALWAYS Called Him “MY Aaron” But After Today?

I think he’s AMERICA’S. ;)

Merry Christmas!

The Editors Have Been Sacked

And well they should have: via ZeroHedge take a gander at Thursday’s “News-Enterprise,” which claims to be “serving” Hardin County, Kentucky:

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As Insta would say, “layers and layers of Fact Checkers”

No reasonable excuse exists for the horrible mistake that occurred Thursday in The News-Enterprise. By now, many of you have heard about it.

The paper reported on the front page in a paraphrased statement: “Hardin County Sheriff John Ward said those who go into the law enforcement profession typically do it because they have a desire to shoot minorities.”

Sheriff Ward is not responsible for the statement. He said nothing of the sort.

A retraction and apology has been printed Friday on Page A1. As community members and neighbors, we feel it is important to repeat this apology again publicly to Sheriff John Ward, the entire law enforcement community and to you, our readers.

We share the outrage and disgust expressed by many of you.

Internally, the newspaper leadership spent yesterday researching this error, discovering the form it took and taking corrective action. As a result, the two people involved were fired.

Reporter Anna Taylor, whose name was on the story, is not responsible for this error.

Many of Thursday’s upset callers asked the same question: “Doesn’t anyone proof your newspaper?”

Well, surprisingly that’s where the error took place. A function and process designed to rid the news pages of error instead added a terrible one that altered the reporter’s original sentence. No reasonable excuse can exist.

It takes years to develop trust. It takes only seconds to destroy it.

We understand our credibility may be called into question but the sheriff should not be subjected to the same scrutiny.

Again, no excuse. The newspaper asks only for your understanding. Our staff will strive to recapture your respect and earn your faith anew.

Hats-off to editor Ben Sheroan for his prompt page A-1 response.

The NYT could learn some things from him.

Well, He Did Play For The Dolphins

His friends call him “Flipper”

WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) — Former Miami Dolphins fullback Rob Konrad swam nine miles back to shore after falling off his boat while fishing off the South Florida coast.

The U.S. Coast Guard reports that Konrad had gone fishing alone Wednesday after being dropped off at a Boca Raton dock. Friends became concerned after he didn’t meet them for dinner, and the Coast Guard later sent a helicopter to look for him.

The Coast Guard said Konrad apparently fell off the 36-foot boat, which had been on auto pilot. Unable to get back to the boat, Konrad began swimming toward shore. He made it some time after 4 a.m. Thursday and contacted the Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office.

Public Service Announcement

Yahoo is the crappiest email system there is.

That is all.

So I Get Back from Vacation

And this is what greets me on our home email account

email

Jeebus.

Regarding the Tragic Evisceration That Took Place Last Night

Happy New Year, Swillers

Big hugs and much love to you and yours for a GREAT 2015.

RIP Edward Herrman

Our favorite role of his is the ne’er do well, wastrel husband Grant Stayton III in Overboard.

He was a GOD at sea in it.

There Are Few Things In The World…

That can’t be solved by the Jimmy Castor Bunch

It’s Emails Like This…

…that make me question the wisdom of allowing my Beloved Bride to use my Amazon account:

Bingley, How Do You Like Your Women’s Tights?

I do not dress in them and hang around in bars.

I swear!

NJIT!!!!!!

Wow.

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Not even NJIT’s coach expected his team to win at Michigan. Just ask him.

“Honestly, this wasn’t in my game plan,” Jim Engles said. “Coming into the season, I sort of penciled this one in as an ‘L.’ I have to readjust my whole process here, as to, ‘We just beat Michigan. I don’t know, maybe we should be in the Top 25.’

“I don’t really know what to say.”

How about this: The team that played for the national title less than two years ago just lost to a commuter school whose “arena” doubles as a campus fitness center.

So I’m On The Bus Yesterday Afternoon

Heading up Church Street towards the Holland Tunnel when everyone on the bus starts laughing: alongside us, atop a flatbed truck, was a black Porsche with “Loser!! I’m leaving you!!” spray painted all over it in very large yellow letters.

Ah, love spurned…

(unfortunately I was on the wrong side to get a picture)

So My Bride And I Just Got Back

From dropping off her pop at the airport after a lurvly Thanksgiving visit, and there standing right next to the driveway quite unabashed is this fairly large 8 point buck, just looking at us in a ‘why-are-you-bothering-me’ sort of way. So of course I said “wow, what a great rack!”

Can someone tell me why I got slapped?

You Know, Every Time I Think NJ Is A Real Mess I Remember…

…that there are places like California or Florida

A Florida man named Phuc Kieu tried to sexually assault and rob a man on Sunday, the Gainesville Sun reported.

Kieu — more formally Phuc X. Kieu — was watching gay porn on a portable DVD player in his car when a second man walked by after withdrawing $220 from an ATM, according to local authorities.

and then I really don’t feel so bad.

Dude

It was SUMPTHIN’.

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