I’m Afraid

I wouldn’t have lasted much longer after my first, less mind THIRD.

PORTAGE, Mich. – A bowler collapsed and died at a bowling alley shortly after rolling the third perfect game of his life.

The more I think about it, ever breaking 200 would have killed me. Lucky thing I didn’t have to worry about it.

On This Day in 1879

…Thomas Edison…
…had another thought.

Dec 31 Holds the first public demonstration of his incandescent electric lighting system at Menlo Park.

A Late Photo Essay

Christmas Dinner at Casa de Major Dad*.
*A UN Declared “Turducken Free” Zone

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You Gotta LOVE the NOAA Guys

…who write these National Hurricane Center discussions. They are a hoot.

ALTHOUGH THE ATMOSPHERE SEEMS TO WANT TO DEVELOP TROPICAL STORMS AD
NAUSEAM…THE CALENDAR WILL SHORTLY PUT AN END TO THE USE OF THE
GREEK ALPHABET TO NAME THEM.

1:51 Left in the Music City Bowl

…and Bingley’s Gay Blades have it all tied up!

UPDATE: Holy CRAP! They’re up by a field goal! But with 1:08, there is too much time left for the Gophers.
They’re on the MN 27, 2D and 10 to go.
ARGH~! Ball on the VA 48, 1st and 10, with 45 secs.
WOO HOO!! Or is that wahoo? Anyway, they won.

That Rabbit’s A Killer!

“Drop the Chalupa!”

A pack of angry Chihuahuas attacked a police officer who was escorting a teenager home following a traffic stop, authorities said. The officer suffered minor injuries including bites to his ankle on Thursday when the five Chihuahuas escaped the 17-year-old boy’s home and rushed the officer in the doorway, said Fremont detective Bill Veteran.

I wonder if the officer called for back-up to handle these viscious beasts?

Damn You Chimpy!

Say hello to sexy Zeta:

SPECIAL TROPICAL DISTURBANCE STATEMENT
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
1100 AM EST FRI DEC 30 2005
SATELLITE IMAGERY INDICATES THAT AN AREA OF LOW PRESSURE IN THE
EASTERN ATLANTIC HAS DEVELOPED INTO A TROPICAL STORM ABOUT 1000
MILES SOUTH-SOUTHWEST OF THE AZORES. A SPECIAL ADVISORY ON
TROPICAL STORM ZETA IS IN PREPARATION AND WILL BE ISSUED IN AN HOUR
OR SO.
FORECASTER FRANKLIN

Bring it on, baby!

But It’s the Real Thing!

The University of Michigan suspended sales of Coca-Cola products on its three campuses over allegations that the company permits human rights and environmental abuses abroad.
The suspension, which begins Jan. 1, will affect vending machines, residence halls, cafeterias and campus restaurants. Coke’s contracts with the university are worth about $1.4 million.

Whatever happened to “Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves.”

A Beautiful Story

I hope this pilot gets a huge bonus:

A drunken holidaymaker has been dumped on a desert island after launching a foul-mouthed tirade at the crew of a passenger jet.
The unnamed passenger’s difficulties began on Tuesday evening at 35,000 ft when he began abusing the cabin crew of flight ZB558 from Manchester. He refused to calm down and then turned his attention to the other 210 passengers.
Eventually the pilot decided that he posed a risk to safety and had to be removed.
Rather than continue for a further 45 minutes to Tenerife he diverted his Airbus A321 to Porto Santo. Within moments of the plane touching down the passenger was escorted to the terminal. Last night he remained a castaway on the Portuguese-controlled island. His New Year home is a mere 10 miles long by three miles wide with a population of 4,000. There is little entertainment apart from walking on the sand dunes.

Simply wonderful.
Happy New Year, doofus :)

You


…are a dumb a$$. And your parents…? I’m just glad no one got killed while trying to keep you safe, you knuckle-chucklehead.
Kids today have too much money and nothing better to do.

Christmas Turducken!

Well, as promised, the much-anticipated turducken was prepared for the Christmas Day dinner! I’ve waited until now to post this, as I wanted to make sure that everyone got out of the hospital.

Well, I’m dressed and ready! Let’s go…

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Bottoms Up!

One thing that always sort of puzzled me is christians who don’t drink for ‘religious reasons’. I mean, Jesus brought the wine to the wedding, right? He drank wine all the time. Sure, we are commanded in Matthew (I think?) not to get drunk, and that’s on the list of non-10 Commandments commandments that I will get around to following eventually, but I can’t recall any place where He says “don’t drink.” Oh sure, He says He’s not going to drink wine anymore, but heck, He well knows that in heaven you don’t need no stinkin’ wine. And anyway, isn’t the full phrase “I won’t drink the fruit of the vine again until I drink it with you in heaven” or something like that?
Look. If you don’t drink because you don’t like the taste or the way it makes you feel, fine. I feel the same way about chocolate milk.
If you don’t drink because once you start you can’t stop and you become a slobbering obnoxoid then I’m glad you’ve made the decision to stop, but don’t blame baby Jesus.
And please don’t deny me my bottle.

Rep. Jeff Miller, FL-R

got some ‘splainin’ to do.

Though battered by two Category 3 hurricanes in less than 10 months, Escambia and Santa Rosa counties were cut out of Congress’ recently enacted Gulf Opportunity Zone Act of 2005.
…Major added that from a “practical standpoint it’s very nice they did this, but where in the world were they last year after Ivan and Dennis?”

New Orleans isn’t the Third World in America, we are. Welcome to Bangla-cola, from the cast of ‘Lost’…in America.

NJ Carnival

We’re hosting the Carnival of NJ Bloggers this week, so all you joisy hepcats send your submissions in!

I Don’t Know Whether to Laugh or Cry

It was so WRONG and hideously tragic that my teeth gnash every time I think of the Germans letting that murderer go. But (Holy crap, Batman!) THIS is too deliciously hilarious for words.

THE German Government angrily rebuked a former hostage yesterday who is determined to return to Iraq despite being held captive for three weeks by a Sunni gang.
Susanne Osthoff, a 43-year-old archaeologist, announced this week on al-Jazeera television that she would go back to her work in northern Iraq, trying to set up a German cultural centre in Arbil.
Angela Merkel’s new Government, which regards the freeing of Frau Osthoff this month as its first foreign policy triumph, is furious. It made huge efforts to secure her release and is widely believed to have paid a ransom.

It gets better…

Frau Osthoff was unharmed and, according to security sources quoted in Der Spiegel, the sharp-tongued archaeologist made full use of her Arabic fluency to reprimand the kidnappers. It appears they were relieved to see her go.

Sometimes, life’s a bitch, Ms. Merkel.
Literally.
A Swill Salute to Captain Ed.

Today’s ‘Slice of the Ridiculous’

Man. I’m pi$$ed. Also baffled and bemused. I had to retire a well loved, well worn pair of Tommy Hilfiger jeans last weekend. They were the worn out, pale blue type, already ratty as I paid for them. So when ~ whether it was age or a tad more AVDP then their geriatric state could handle ~ the material split along the rear pocket seam, I thought no harm, no foul. They’d served me well.
Having such an esteemed opinion of said jeans, I dug through them for tags one last time, thinking to get a style number and reduce fruitless hours of trying on different pairs. I found such a tag, along with another I’d never noticed these past three years. One I would never in a million years have associated with denim: especially moderately priced denim. All in caps, mind you. An amazing tag, all things considered, for a pair of BLUE JEANS.

LINE DRY IN SHADE DO NOT TUMBLE DRY

WTF is that? I should have maybe spelled it BLEU jeans?

Season of Good Cheer?

“The change has been amazing, the justices are a happy bunch again,” said one court official, who asked not to be identified. “They joke in arguments, they joke among themselves privately. The chief was just the type of man this place needed.”

Heh. Damn that Chimp
Oh. I already said that once today.

More Downbeat News

Consumer confidence improves in December
U.S. consumer confidence improved in December to the highest level since August, before Hurricane Katrina slammed into the U.S. Gulf and sent gasoline to record highs, a survey showed on Tuesday.
The Conference Board said its index of consumer sentiment rose in December to 103.6 from a November reading of 98.3, which had been downwardly revised from 98.9.

Those in the know had forecast a rise to slightly over 101. Wrong again.
::sigh::
Damn that Chimpy man.

Color Me Cranky

…but, when you live ON the water, should this be that big a surprise?

It is easy to understand what attracted Richard Pinegar and his family to Dauphin Island, Alabama. From the terrace of their elevated seafront home, they look down on the turquoise waters of the Gulf of Mexico lapping against an idyllic white sand beach, just footsteps away.
After 11 years, however, Mr Pinegar has decided to trade in his piece of paradise for somewhere on higher ground.
He has grown tired of repairing his property after each of the powerful hurricanes and tropical storms that have struck the island over recent years.
“We had not finished rebuilding after Ivan when Katrina struck,” he said. “It will break my heart to leave. But living here has become a constant struggle between man and nature and nature is winning.”

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Word of the Day

snivel \SNIV-ul\ verb
1 a : to run at the nose b : snuffle
2 : to cry or whine with snuffling
3 : to speak or act in a whining, sniffling, tearful, or weakly emotional manner

My nominee for 2005? Yup.

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Well, When They Actually Pay People

…the $57+ billion they say they’re out, then I’ll cry a river of crocodile tears for them. So far, in our Gulf neck of the woods, that premium you pay every month is more about the privilege of getting another insurance invoice in the mail next month, rather than for protecting your assets.

Hurricane insurance losses $57.6 bln: Advisen
NEW YORK (Reuters) – Advisen Ltd. on Tuesday estimated worldwide insurance and reinsurance losses related to the three major hurricanes that hit the United States this year would amount to $57.6 billion, making the cumulative catastrophe losses the largest on record.

One spiff little trick I’ve learned they’re pulling; Say you’ve got Casa de Bingster insured for $250K. That’s the dollar amount you pay for every single month AND what they’ve agreed replacing your house would cost. We’re all square. Then along comes Gertrude and wipes Casa de Bingster to a slab. No worries, as we’ve got $250K to rebuild with, right? Not exactly, says the adjuster. We’re holding back a portion of that insured value when we write you the check because, as you can clearly see since it’s gone, it’s no longer WORTH the $250K you’ve been paying for.
Slab + missing house = depreciation, duh.

Merry Christmas!

On This Day in 1775

…General George Washington and some of his friends…

…posed for this picture.

And A Song For Our Troops

Recorded July 11th, 1918 it’s a song whose words we need to fulfill again.
And we will.
I suppose I should mention that on this post and the one below it you may not want to click if you’re on dial-up.

A Song For Tonight

Recorded February 23rd, 1916 and still wonderful today.

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