Happy Most WONDERFUL Day of the Year!!!

From Our Correspondent At The Nobel Prize Ceremony…

…exclusive video of this year’s Peace Prize winner’s acceptance speech:

Religion of Pieces in Action Again

Peoria, AZ.

…Police say Faleh Almaleki was upset that his daughter had become too “Westernized” when he aimed his car at his daughter Oct. 20 in a Peoria parking lot.

New Yawk City.

A New York woman allegedly tried to slit her husband’s throat because she said he wasn’t the devout Muslim she thought she married five months ago, the Staten Island Advance reported.

Rabia Sarwar told authorities in a four-page written confession that she tried her “best to cut his throat,” but that her husband, Sheikh Naseem, woke up and took the knife from her.

Trying your “best” is important in anything you try to accomplish.

Okay, maybe not this, but for God’s sake! He wanted her to eat pork! Wear shorts! Have a cocktail! (Nothing about attending Yankee games in the new stadium.)

Cruelty like that requires swift and brutal action. Walk out? D.I.V.O.R.C.E.? WRONG.

Allah says, “Off with his head!”

Today’s M-W “Word of the Day”

pescatarian \pess-kuh-TAIR-ee-un\ noun

Meaning: one whose diet includes fish but no meat

Hmmm. Oddly enough, I thought it was the technical term for being a pain in the ass. Musta been the entry’s picture of ebola that threw me.

Where Was This Chris Christie 3 Months Ago?

He’d have this thing sewn up by now

Chris Christie, New Jersey’s Republican nominee for governor, said Thursday that Democratic Gov. Jon Corzine should quit hinting at his weight with unflattering ads and “man up and say I’m fat.”

…Imus later joked that even though many of New Jersey voters are overweight, Christie should be setting a better example.

“I am setting an example Don,” Christie responded. “We have to spur our economy. Dunkin Donuts, International House of Pancakes, those people need to work too.”

This Tuesday, Kids.

“…And Back He Spurred Like a Madman…”

“… shrieking a curse to the sky,
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high..”

(It’s the MOST wonderful time of year!)

Well, “Half” Isn’t the Same As “MOST“

…you know. Have a little faith, peon people!

…The Post reported that nearly half the members of the House Appropriations defense subcommittee were under scrutiny.

How’s That “Smart” Diplomacy Going?

Finally! After those Eight Dark Years of Cowboy Diplomacy we can now revel in the wonders and glory that is nuanced reset Smart Diplomacy

LAHORE, Pakistan (Reuters) – U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s said on Thursday it was “hard to believe” that no one in Pakistan’s government knew where al Qaeda leaders were hiding, striking a new tone on a trip where Washington’s credibility has come under attack.

Scores of al Qaeda leaders and their operatives, including Osama bin Laden, are believed to be in hiding in the rugged border territory that divides Pakistan and Afghanistan, but both countries routinely accuse the other of being the main sanctuary

“I find it hard to believe that nobody in your government knows where they are and couldn’t get them if they really wanted to,” she told a group of newspaper editors during a meeting in Lahore.

“So do you guys have any idea which of your government officials is the mole on al Qaeda’s payroll?,” she said.

Well, maybe I edited that a bit.

Hand!

It’s what’s for dinner!

This may be the finest Halloween meal evah.

I bow before her genius.

Woman Got Herself Really Forked Up

A woman obsessed with eating cutlery…

I SWEAR! That’s what it says!

27:50 Minutes

…of food for thought.

Soma Or Big Brother?

Our good friend Ricki poses an interesting question:

When I was a teenager, I read both “1984” and “Brave New World.” My friends always thought “1984” was going to be the scenario that happened in the future. I thought it would be “Brave New World.”

Me? I think we’re allowing a mix of both along with a healthy dose of “Animal Farm.”

And by “healthy” I mean “incredibly dangerous.”

What do y’all think?

Quote Of The Day

Who was described thusly:

‘hardy, wise and liberal…fierce in courage, courtly in fashion, in personage stately, in voice magnificent, but somewhat empty of matter’

I can’t tell you how much I laughed when I read that…but I’m sure you can easily imagine who it made me think of.

Dear FDA: CLAM UP, You Bottom Feeders!!!

FDA to ban sale of raw oysters from Gulf of Mexico

…The Gulf region supplies about two-thirds of U.S. oysters, and some people in the $500 million industry argue that the anti-bacterial procedures are too costly. They insist adequate measures are already being taken to battle germs, including increased refrigeration on oyster boats and warnings posted in restaurants.

About 15 people die each year in the United States from raw oysters infected with Vibrio vulnificus, which typically is found in warm coastal waters between April and October. Most of the deaths occur among people with weak immune systems caused by health problems like liver or kidney disease, cancer, diabetes, or AIDS.

SWEET Mary Mother of God!!!! Enough, Nutritional Nanny Nazis! EE freakin’ NUFF!!!
Kiss that ACME Oyster House in New Orleans goodbye, as well as a traditional way of life from Apalachicola to the Mississippi. And why???

…The FDA is promoting a ban because high-risk groups are not heeding warnings about raw oysters, and millions of other people may not know they are vulnerable.

Because FIFTEEN UNFORTUNATE SOULS ~ many of whom IGNORE THE WARNINGS ~ die. Per year. F.I.F.T.E.E.N.

Jesus.

People are repeatedly and expensively and assertively told NOT TO DRINK AND DRIVE…but they still do. And FAR more people are MURDERED on the highways than die from sneaking an oyster, but do we ban driving?

You’ll have to pry those oysters from my cold, wet fingers, you blithering bi-valve banners.

God, I’m pissed.

Counting, Counting, Always Getting Faster

When I start in counting, it’s very hard to stop!

And this is hilarious (via ebola):

I Ordered Me a Special at Breakfast This Morning

…WOW! Did I ever get it!

Marco Rubio, ladies and Swills! Doing what he does best…

…at the Coffee Cup in Pensacola FIRST thing this morning.
(In the interest of full disclosure, I’m lucky enough to be his Escambia County Volunteer Team Leader.)
(Double lucky me, ’cause my ebola showed up for it, too!)

I wish you could ALL meet him personally just once. He’s something.

It’s Outrageously Outrageous!

Yet another sign that Jolly Olde England: some MPs may have to commute to Parliament!

London and South-East MPs reacted furiously today to leaked news that their expenses are to be slashed to ribbons.

At least 48 MPs in the capital will have a £3,250 salary cut at a stroke because standards watchdog Sir Christopher Kelly has decided to cut in half the London salary supplement.

Another proposal, branded “idiotic” and “woolly”, is to ban £24,000 second home expenses for MPs living within 60 minutes by train from Westminster.

Let me get this straight: MPs who live within, within 60 minutes travel time by train of Parliament get £24,000 (call it a tad over $39,000) extra to maintain a second home? WTF? Mind you, these are the same folks who deduct their spouses porn bills as “office expenses.”

Sir Stuart Bell, a senior member of the House of Commons commission, said it would be “totally unacceptable” to have South-East MPs forced to commute in the middle of the night and predicted that MPs “might baulk” at stripping them of second homes.

“Forced to commute in the middle of the night”? An hour?

Thanet North MP Roger Gale said: “I do not know what Christopher Kelly thinks MPs do… he does not live in the real world.” He also attacked the “idiotic idea that if you live an hour from London by train you cannot have a home in London”

So…anyone who has a commute of an hour should get money for a second home nearer to work? Sorry, any government official; silly me.

Commuting, like taxes, are for the little people.

I’d Prefer This Story Neat…

But it’s really on the rocks

Whisky on (Antarctic) ice
Explorer Ernest Shackleton loved his Scotch whisky. And he left a stash at the bottom of the world.
By Emily Stone — Special to GlobalPost
Published: October 26, 2009 06:29 ET

CAPE ROYDS, Antarctica — This spit of black volcanic rock that juts out along the coast of Antarctica is an inhospitable place. Temperatures drop below –50 Fahrenheit and high winds cause blinding snowstorms. The only neighbors are a colony of penguins that squawk incessantly and leave a pungent scent in their wake.

But if you happen upon the small wooden hut that sits at Cape Royds and wriggled yourself underneath, you’d find a surprise stashed in the foot and a half of space beneath the floorboards. Tucked in the shadows and frozen to the ground are two cases of Scotch whisky left behind 100 years ago by Sir Ernest Shackleton after a failed attempt at the South Pole.

How cool is that? Well, given that it’s Antarctica, I’d say pretty damned cool, but that’s beside the point.

Conservators discovered the wooden cases in January 2006. They were unable to dislodge the crates, but are going in with special tools in January during the Antarctic summer to try to retrieve them. An international treaty dictates that the crates, and any intact bottles that are inside, remain in Antarctica unless they need to be taken off the continent for conservation reasons. The whisky’s condition after a century of freezing and thawing is unknown.

I think a bottle or two needs to be taken off the continent for consumption reasons.

I mean scientific research.

Sorry.

Mind you, at a place named “Cape Royds” I rather expected them to find his stash of Preparation H.

(h/t to Ace)

I Say, “Go Biblical On Dey A$$!”

An eye for an eye, sister.

A 64-year-old Riverside woman told Buffalo police that she was almost hit by a frozen potato about 11:15 p.m. Friday outside her home on Condon Avenue.

Per the aggressive nature of the attack, we can immediately eliminate French Fries as suspects. Lucky it wasn’t me, Mainely ’cause Idahold them until the cops came, OreIda peeled out the driveway after them.

You’re BUSTED, big boy.

Hope and Change

Just not where you’ve been led to imagine it would be.

Imagine a two-term Republican governor from a state carried by Barack Obama who turned an $800 million deficit into a $1.2 billion surplus by cutting overhead and bringing sound business principles to his state’s government even as he provided new health benefits for poor citizens. Imagine no longer.

The Greatest Deliberative Body On Earth

Now that Biden and Obama have moved on to new gigs who wears the mantle as Most Gifted Orator?

Here’s my nominee

… that person would have to leave the position and — I mean, you can see all the questions that are just flowing through my process here, as we try to talk about czars and policy-makers. This is even bigger than — than czars.

I mean — you’re — you’re wrestling with this — this just wonderful document that’s created 200 and plus years ago that created our entity and this thing called separation of powers.

We haven’t even gotten into the judiciary side of this, which could also raise a whole lot of other questions.

So, Mr. President (sic), I really don’t have many questions, I just — I got more questions than I have answers, Mr. Chairman, in reference to this, because I — I just sit here and listen to the experts talk, and every time there was a statement made, there’s a — there’s a new question come to my mind, well, what about this? What ifs — What if? What if? And — and so, I find this so fascinating, and I’m — I’m certainly going read each and every one of you all’s testimony.

I don’t know how I’m going to get back to — to, you know, the hearing again to try to follow up on this but, Mr. Chairman, I would imagine that our grandchildren are going to be still wrestling with this same problem.

I don’t know whether or not — given us wanting to have a weak president who’s going to kowtow to Congress or us having this — a weak Congress who’s going to let a president run all over us, which you see in some of these cases.

I mean if, you know, if — if you say that we’re going to appropriate some money, then they don’t want to spend it, you know, they don’t spend it.

And you just heard what my distinguished senator from Utah says, that who the gatekeeper is to stop the information from getting to the president. So, you know, I’m more frustrated than I am — with questions.

Thank you, Mr. Chairman, this is — this is — I mean this is. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I’m done.

As Insta says, the country’s in the very best of hands, folks.

I don’t know about you, but I sure trust these folks with my health care.

Um…

…ICK?

Stop, please.

Quote(s) of the Day

…Rubio: When you’re just a few months removed from standing on a stage in Florida and supporting $800 billion in deficit spending, it’s hard to envision that person going to Washington and being a counterbalance to that. The stimulus money isn’t our tax money. Our tax money is spent years ago. The stimulus money is borrowed money from the Chinese and printed money from the Federal Reserve. I believe what Charlie Crist stands for and has supported is incompatible with the mainstream of the Republican Party. And this campaign is about giving Republican voters a choice.

…TAS: Any plans to hold a fundraiser in the Hamptons (as Crist has)?

Rubio: No (laugh).

TAS: You’ve clearly gotten Charlie Crist nervous.

Rubio: If I were running in a Republican primary after supporting cap and trade, the stimulus package, amnesty for illegal aliens, and the ACORN plan to restore the rights of felons to vote automatically, I’d be nervous too.

They called it “Marco Gets It“.

Putting While America Sputters

It’s a good thing that there are no pressing issues that demand his time

President Barack Obama has only been in office for just over nine months, but he’s already hit the links as much as President Bush did in over two years.

CBS’ Mark Knoller — an unofficial documentarian and statistician of all things White House-related — wrote on his Twitter feed that, “Today – Obama ties Pres. Bush in the number of rounds of golf played in office: 24.

Took Bush 2 yrs & 10 months.”

Must be nice, this President gig. Sure seems to beat working for a living.

I Have To Get Me A Tee Time

And a couple of weeks to play all 18 holes

The vast Australian emptiness of the Nullarbor Plain is famous already as one of the world’s most gruelling car journeys.

Now it has become the proud home of the world’s longest golf course.

Eighteen holes spread over 1,365 km (848 miles) of outback terrain that can take as long as seven days to play – longer even, if you keep on hitting your balls into the scrubland or suffer the indignity of having them stolen by an errant dingo.

…This is a course which favours patient drivers, because you will be spending an awful lot of time behind the wheel.

The idea is that after playing one hole, you drive to the next… and then the next. The problem is that they are often 100km further down the highway.

So long is the course, in fact, that it is spread over two states, South Australia and Western Australia.

Just think of the carbon footprint! It brings tears of joy to my eyes.

And I just love how this all came about:

The idea for the course came from a group of roadside businessmen, who wanted to slow down motorists as they crossed the mighty plain.

Rather than watch them hurtle down the highway, they preferred them to stop, take in the sights and spend some money.

After a couple of bottles of wine, the germ of an idea was born.

They should give all these guys some type of medal.

Or a couple more cases of wine.