Campaigns You Can Believe In

A promise to smoke pot, not the other stuff: Parody anti-Ford election signs in Toronto http://t.co/hMX1avXFbk pic.twitter.com/JRhawnhCMX

— The Globe and Mail (@globeandmail) March 31, 2014

Ah, Italian Justice

My name is Bonds, Fake Bonds

Two smartly-dressed men armed with forged bond certificates worth trillions of euros have been caught while trying to talk their way into the Vatican’s bank, in a spectacularly bungled fraud scheme.

The middle aged men, an American and a Dutch citizen of Malaysian origin, arrived at the main gate of the Vatican on the morning of March 11, telling Swiss guards they had an appointment at the bank, which has been dogged by scandals over the years.

When bank staff said they had no record of an appointment, the two men said cardinals were expecting them – arousing the suspicions of Vatican police, who called in colleagues from Italy’s tax police.

“When we arrived, the Vatican police had opened the men’s briefcase to find bond certificates valued in US and Hong Kong dollars, as well as euros, worth €3 trillion,” said Lt Col Davide Cardia, a tax police official.

… “We noticed the grammar of the English used on the certificates was full of mistakes – it looked like they had been written using Google Translate,” he told The Daily Telegraph. “Searching their hotel room we found the seals used to forge the bond certificates.”

Since the men were stopped before carrying out a fraud, they were released under Italian law and have now likely left Italy, said Lt. Col. Cardia.

I guess the Italians consider forged bonds worth trillions to be mere literature until one actually deposits them.

And then they’ll shout “squirrel!” and try Amanda Knox again.

I Hope She Wins, And Wins A Lot

And I hope the DA grows a pair and files criminal assault charges against the agents

A University of Virginia student charged last year with assaulting Virginia Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control agents attempting to stop her for underage possession beer that turned out to be sparkling water has filed a $40 million lawsuit against the state and seven agents.

Among other things, Elizabeth K. Daly’s 47-page suit, filed Tuesday in Richmond Circuit Court, alleges malicious prosecution, failure to train ABC agents appropriately, and six counts of assault and battery.

Michael Kelly, director of communications for Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring, said, “It’s incredibly unfortunate that the situation that night in Charlottesville occurred at all. As this case proceeds, the Attorney General’s Office will defend the commonwealth’s interests and work to ensure a just and reasonable outcome.”

Now from that quote you can see the AG sure sounds like he’s looking for a way out of this. And for good reason:

According to the suit, Daly and two friends went to a Harris Teeter store in Daly’s Chevrolet Trailblazer, arriving shortly before 10 p.m. Among other items purchased by one of Daly’s friends was a case of canned LaCroix sparkling water. The women walked into the parking lot, one of them carrying the clearly visible sparkling water.

Seven ABC agents were in the parking lot watching for young-looking individuals and checking their identification to ensure no state laws were bring broken. Two agents followed the three to their car.

Daly got behind the wheel, one friend sat in the front passenger seat and placed the sparkling water on the floor and the other friend got in the back seat. Before starting the car, Daly saw two people approach the car and begin banging on the windows.

The two agents, says the suit, “allegedly displayed their badges hanging from necklaces which at the time and under the circumstances were not clearly visible or readable.”

The agents warned Daly not to turn on the car, but she and a friend were unable to open the windows using buttons because the car was not running. Other agents ran to the car.

The suit alleges that Daly called 911 on her cellphone, which she handed to a friend. The friend told the operator that they could not tell if the agents were real law enforcement officers.

Daly “was shaking and saying, ‘I don’t know what to do!’?” One agent suddenly drew a gun, pointing it toward the ground.

When an agent tried to break a passenger window with a steel flashlight, Daly drove off with some of the agents chasing on foot. She drove out of the parking lot and stopped at a red light intending to drive to a police station.

While at the red light, the 911 operator confirmed to the women that they were real ABC agents, according to the suit.

Police arrived on the scene and drove Daly to the police station, where an ABC agent swore out a criminal complaint that led to Daly’s arrest over assaulting two agents and over failing to stop when ordered.

Daly spent the night in jail and was released the following afternoon. On June 27, the charged were dropped. On Oct. 22, the arrest and court records were expunged.

These sorts of way-over-the-top police incidents for “crimes” so pernicious and perilous, crimes that threaten the very the Survival of the Republic like, well I shudder and blanch to mention, crimes like Under Age Possession and Presumptive Consumption of Carbonated Beverages By Teetotalers, these sorts of things are where the courts and the citizens need to hit back, and hit hard. This type of governmental abuse can not be allowed to stand.

Caprice and arbitrary thuggery are the hallmarks of a police state.

Ghost In The Machine

Really, here’s another reason to get an Xbox One or other such device that has a camera

INDIANAPOLIS (March 26, 2014) — A family claims they are being terrorized by their cable box. For more than a week, personal and harassing messages are showing up on their TVs.

Alana Meeks has no idea who’s behind it.

“This stuff is uncanny. I haven’t heard anything like this in my life,” she said. “He says he’s a stalker.”

Meeks said it started more than a week ago — “he” or someone has taken control of her AT&T cable box and typing messages on two of her TVs.

The family showed us a few. One wrote: ‘ISEEYOUHAHA’. Others even threatened to hurt Alana’s 9-year-old granddaughter, Aniya.

…FOX59 cameras were rolling when it happened again. Whoever was typing knew we were there, too.

“Always on” internet connections to “smart devices” are just a bad idea.

Big Brother doesn’t need yet another entry point.

In Those Golden Days Of Gore

March 11th, 2012

Sigh.

We had our consensus then.

All I Can Say Is…

…it’s for REALS.

Code Chaos
Another nightmare for doctors, courtesy of the federal government

Ever considered suicide by jellyfish? Have you ended up in the hospital after being injured during the forced landing of your spacecraft? Or been hurt when you were sucked into the engine of an airplane or when your horse-drawn carriage collided with a trolley?

Chances are slim.

But should any of these unfortunate injuries befall you after October 1, 2014, your doctor, courtesy of the federal government, will have a code to record it. On that date, the United States is scheduled to implement a new system for recording injuries, medical diagnoses, and inpatient procedures called ICD-10?—?the 10th version of the International Classification of Diseases propagated by the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland.

So these exotic injuries, codeless for so many years, will henceforth be known, respectively, as T63622A (Toxic effect of contact with other jellyfish, intentional self-harm, initial encounter), V9542XA (Forced landing of spacecraft injuring occupant, initial encounter), V9733XA (Sucked into jet engine, initial encounter), and V80731A (Occupant of animal-drawn vehicle injured in collision with streetcar, initial encounter).

Wonder if “Death By Bongo” has a code?

It should.

We’re ALL going to expire from it before this is through.

I Do Not Think Harry Reid Understands the Concept of “Video”

Bill Quick’s New Book

It’s actually quite good and an enjoyable read. It’s called “Lightning Fall” and it concerns an all-too conceivable EMP attack on the US, and how very quickly our tech/electricity-dependent society could fall apart, especially when aided by the misplaced priorities of our political class.

If you have a kindle, get it.

March 26th Gerbil Warmening Update

Just a sugar coating as the storm stayed well off the coast.

Man I hope this is the last of it for this year.

A Friend’s Email Got Hijacked

Hello,

Hope you get this on time, We made a trip to Manila,Philippines and had our bags stolen from us with our phones and credit cards in it. The embassy is willing to help by letting us fly back home since we still have our passports, We just have to pay for our ticket and settle Hotel bills. Unfortunately for us, I don’t have access to funds without my credit card, I’ve made contact with my bank but they need more time to come up with a new one. I was thinking of asking you to lend me ($2,650USD) that I can give back as soon as We get home. We really need to be on the next available flight. I’m so confused at the moment I need urgent help.

Western Union is the best option to send money to us. Let me know if you need my details(Full names and Present location) you can also reach me via email.I will forever be grateful if you can help me

All hopes on you.

Heartrending, no?

I’ll Just Go With Charles Cooke’s Opinion

The Greatest Opening Line in the History of Campaign Commercials

Well, yes. Yes it is.

Koch Head

Look how much the Koch brothers are outspending Democrats http://t.co/dt3yTrEiZ2 (via @washingtonpost) pic.twitter.com/SmvSsnDEee

— National Journal (@nationaljournal) March 25, 2014

“Squirrel! SQUIRREL!!! SKA-WHIRL!!!!”

The Horror In Washington

The death toll just keeps climbing

Fears are growing in Oso, Washington, as the number of missing after a colossal landslide rose from 108 to 176, and 14 have been confirmed dead.

More than 100 homes were hit by the natural disaster when a rain-soaked hillside in the remote town, 50 miles north of Seattle, collapsed at 11am on Saturday.

Three days on from the devastating mudslide, more than 100 rescuers with dogs, aircraft and sonar equipment remain scouring the remnants of the steep hillside looking for the nearly 200 people unaccounted for.

Hopefully many of these ‘missing’ reports will be duplicates.

Still Waiting For Koch Bros Funding Since 2005

Just saying.

You know how to contact me, fellas.

It’s Getting So Bad

…I’m starting to hear “Koch” in my sleep.

…THE ROUNDTABLE:

ABC’s RICK KLEIN: The new Senate analysis from our colleagues at FiveThirtyEight.com is the latest warning signal for Democrats in 2014. Its main conclusion, that the GOP holds a 60 percent chance of taking back the Senate, is coming under harsh criticism from Democrats, naturally. The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee quickly penned a memo arguing against making such conclusions this early. Naturally, the DSCC included this line:

“It has become crystal clear that our opponent in 2014 is not the Republican Party but two billionaire brothers.”

Democrats are doing all they can to try to bring money of their own into the process, amid frustrations that the Obama operation isn’t in high gear for this year. But does anyone think American voters will turn out in the kind of numbers Democrats need to send a message to the Koch brothers? Democrats need a different climate, not simple outside spending to match the Kochs, to overcome the forces at work this year.

ths update: (Keeping all these insinuations/messaging moments together for easy reference…)

The Best Part Of Waking Up…

Much to Sis’s chagrin (and you do NOT want to see the abuse I had to endure from her on IM) I had the very great privilege of meeting up with the Pure Gentleman of Crab Apple Lane and just look what he treated me to

coffee and beignets from Morning Call

nomnomnom!

Over-Compensate Much?

Sights of NOLA

22 Degrees This Morning

And a couple of inches of snow for Tuesday.

It’s March 24th.

I want to go back to New Orleans.

Now.

A Bach Quizzler

Which I totally plonked on my harpsichord.

Perhaps you’ll have better luck

Amy Walters Made It a Point to Call Americans for Prosperity a “KOCH BROTHERS Supported Backed” Organization

…on PBS’ The NewsHour Thursday night (with an able assist from Stuart Rothenberg just to make sure you heard it the FIRST time…).

…STUART ROTHENBERG: The average voter doesn’t say, wow, who’s contributing to who?

So I think it’s a general Democratic frustration here. When you look at these races, it’s not as though the Republican candidates have a lot more money than the Democratic Senate candidates. That’s not the case at all.

AMY WALTER: But the AFP is out, which is the Koch brothers-backed group.

GWEN IFILL: Americans for Prosperity.

AMY WALTER: I mean, when you look at how much they’re spending in some of these states we just talked about…

STUART ROTHENBERG: That’s true.

AMY WALTER: … in North Carolina, their super PAC up against the Democratic super PAC called the Majority — Democratic Majority — what is it? Majority PAC, yes.

STUART ROTHENBERG: Majority PAC.

AMY WALTER: Majority PAC.

It’s, in some cases, 3-1, 4-1 difference in the number of ads that have been run. But I agree with you that it’s — it may not stay that way.

STUART ROTHENBERG: And, remember, the Republican super PAC that was so big last time, Crossroads, seems not to be active this cycle, at least at this point. They will be later in the cycle.

But, so far, AFP, the Koch brothers group, has really been carrying the ball for Republicans as the outside group.

SAH-lick message re-inforcement there, team!

No mention of any ‘Soros supported’ groups helping out Democrats during the roundtable, to my surprise.

Our little fishwrap this morning, seemly being eaten alive by USA Today inserts, amazingly enough, had a similar, unbiased observation:

USA Today wants to make SURE you know the #KochBrothers are 'tied' to @AFPhq in Sunday #Senate2014 story. No #Soros pic.twitter.com/4DUI4o0cAB

— tree hugging sister (@treehuggingsis) March 23, 2014

I’m sensing a “theme”…

Late Night At Pat O’Brians

In the Piano Bar.

Jeb Bush Looking to Torpedo Whatever Chances He Might Have Had

…in one fell swoop.

Illegal immigrants are the "risk takers" Jeb Bush says

— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) March 21, 2014

Caputo updated the Tweet a bit later…

Since Jeb Bush's risk-takers comments generated the most RTs, here's the full quote now that i've transcribed..

— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) March 21, 2014

Jeb Bush: "People who come here legally and illegally are the risk takers…."

— Marc Caputo (@MarcACaputo) March 21, 2014

Sexy Dog on Campus in Dashing Army Uniform

…gets called out by two guys who actually WORE the thing.

In combat.

Rum Ramseys At The Bon Ton Cafe

Damn these are good.

“I’ve Always Dreamed of a Piece of Fine Bottom Land”: Moving Swiftly to Marginalize and Contain the Opposition

…while handsomely rewarding local favorites, I’d imagine.

Crimean Tatars Will Have to Vacate Land – Official

MOSCOW, March 18 (RIA Novosti) – Ukraine’s breakaway region of Crimea will ask Tatars to vacate part of the land where they now live in exchange for new territory elsewhere in the region, a top Crimean government official said Tuesday.

Crimean Deputy Prime Minister Rustam Temirgaliyev said in an interview with RIA Novosti on Tuesday the new government in Crimea, where residents voted Sunday to become part of Russia, wants to regularize the land unofficially taken over by Crimean Tatar squatters following the collapse of the Soviet Union.

“We have asked the Crimean Tatars to vacate part of their land, which is required for social needs,”

I’m sure our President will be PISSED when he gets off the course and finds out about this…right up until he finds out WHY they went all grabby pants.

For “social needs”?! Then it’ll be okey schmokey dokey. Might even see if they need some help with that.

…Temirgaliyev said. “But we are ready to allocate and legalize many other plots of land to ensure a normal life for the Crimean Tatars,” he said.

Temirgaliyev emphasized that members of the Tatar community could receive senior political positions in the new government, in an apparent move to ease ethnic tensions in the region.

“I think that Crimean Tatars will be well represented in the government and parliament,” he said.

I’ll BET they will! EVERY government needs janitors, sanitation engineers and road crews/ditch diggers.

Shovel ready jobs for the opposition.