Grand Schmuck Spitzer

Ah, as one would have expected this is the gift that keeps on giving. Here is our dear and soon to be departed Spitzmeister during his campaign for Governor

Like all parents, I know it is increasingly difficult to protect our children from negative influences… we have learned that when self-regulation fails, government must step in… we must do more to protect our children from excessive sex and violence in the media…
Media content has gotten more graphic, more violent and more sex-based… Currently, nothing under New York State law prohibits a fourteen-year old from walking into a video store and buying… a game like ‘Grand Theft Auto,’ which rewards a player for stealing cars and beating people up. Children can even simulate having sex with a prostitute…

I just can’t stop my giggling. Immature, I know, but so thoroughly enjoyable as to easily overcome whatever feeble attempts my sense of propriety makes to halt it.
In light of what we have now learned this week, perhaps a little editing is in order…

Like all parents, I know it is increasingly difficult to protect your college-aged children from negative influences like me… we have learned that when self-regulation fails, the urge to drop a couple grand on some high-class booty kicks in… we must do more to protect our children from excessive sex and violence in the media and keep it in hotel rooms where it belongs…
My busy schedule has gotten more graphic, more violent and more sex-based… Currently, nothing under New York State law prohibits a fortyeight-year old from walking into an adult video store and buying… a game like ‘Grand Prosecute Aut-Ho,’ which rewards a player for using the law to extort money from companies and beating people up in the press. Children can even simulate having sex with a prostitute…This is an outrage; they should be learning how to have real sex with a prostitute and how to hide the payments…

I hope this drags out for weeks.
(h/t to HotAir)

One Response to “Grand Schmuck Spitzer”

1. Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life says:

   March 12, 2008 at 8:32 am

   Number One message left on Spitzer’s answering machine:

   “It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks. I’m no longer America’s creepiest governor.”

   HT to David Letterman’s writing crew.