What Women Really Talk About In The Bathroom

Dana at Note-It Posts slips up in the midst of some well-founded child rearing guidance and reveals to men what women really talk about when they go off to the loo in a pack. Fellas, it’s worse than we ever feared:


Dana: Many, many important decisions about sex and procreation and vehicle purchase have been made during those trips.

Susie: “Well, he still won’t agree to the damn minivan.”
Jill: “Asshole.”
Mary: “Yeah.”
Susie: “Yeah.”
(pause)
Susie: “I guess I’m gonna have to withhold sex.”
Mary: “Don’t be so hasty now… have you tried burning his food?”
Susie: “Yep. Every dinner this week.”
Mary: “Hmmm….”
Jill: “Fuck that. It’s time to go nuclear.”
Susie: “You mean…?”
Jill: “Yep. PMS.”
Mary: “Wow. You really want her to have that minivan.”
Jill: “Damn straight! She does carpool on Tuesdays and Thursdays!”
Susie: “OK, so it’s settled then. No sex for Bob for a week, because I have PMS. And THEN no sex NEXT week because I’m on the rag. At the end of the two weeks, he’ll be begging me to buy that fucking van, if I’ll only let him have the coochie.”
Mary: “Yeah. But… what happens the week after that, when you REALLY have your period?”
Jill: “Then she says she needs to visit the doctor to have it ‘checked out’.”
Susie: “Oh my god, he’ll shit! Think I can get leather seats out of that?”
Jill and Mary: “Toooootally.”

6 Responses to “What Women Really Talk About In The Bathroom”

  1. Crusader says:

    Which is why I married a wonderful woman who also hates the scourge of the earth: minivans.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Yeah, you keep kidding yourself that the “M” word doesn’t come up when that gaggle of sisters heads off to the widdle girls room…just keep pretending that the Vast Chick Wing Conspiracy doesn’t exist.

  3. Ken Summers says:

    Jeez, lady. A minivan? Why don’t you just go ahead and cut off his ‘nads?
    No offense, Bingley.

  4. The Real JeffS says:

    Gawd, I’m sorry I read that. That sounded like a strategy session with the White House staff.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    During the Clinton years, for sure JeffS.

  6. Ewww, nobody I know talks like that.

Image | WordPress Themes