Questions That Cry for Answers

So I’m moving there IMMEDIATELY – with no job, mind you – to get to the bottom of this.

Dude.

City mandates free medical marijuana for low-income residents

That’s what the Berkeley City Council in California has unanimously approved, ordering medical marijuana dispensaries to donate 2 percent of their stash to patients making less than $32,000 a year.

The new welfare program in the liberal-leaning city is set to launch in August 2015.

But Berkeley’s decision to effectively order weed redistribution is prompting a vocal backlash.

Bishop Ron Allen, a former addict and head of the International Faith Based Coalition, told Fox News he doesn’t understand why the California city would want to dump pot on the impoverished.

“It’s ludicrous, over-the-top madness,” Allen said.

Why would Berkeley City Council want to keep their poverty-stricken under-served high, in poverty and lethargic?

John Lovell, a lobbyist for the California Narcotic Officers’ Association, agrees.

Instead of taking steps to help the most economically vulnerable residents get out of that state, the city has said, ‘Let’s just get everybody high,‘” Lovell told The New York Times.

Now THAT’S California Dreamin’!

Blame the POLAR VORTEX!!!

Right?

Finally: Secrets Of Bingley Fashion Revealed!

Yes, Gentle Reader, long have I closely held these Key Secrets of Style close to my chest, and used them masterfully to my great advantage.

But now I have decided to share them with you, so that you too may enjoy the fruits of my labors.

Everyday Office:

(It’s like Garanimals for adults)

oldad2

Relaxing at Home:

oldad3

And for that Special Night Out:

oldad1

These are my gifts to You, Gentle Reader.

Enjoy!

It Must Have Conflicted With His Tee Time

I’m mean, it’s not like the NATO meeting (or for that matter the entire alliance) means anything to him anyway

President Obama was nowhere to be found during the beginning of a meeting of the NATO-Ukraine commission in Wales on Thursday.

Obama was “noticeably absent” from the start of the meeting, according to a White House pool report, although U.S. Ambassador to NATO Douglas Lute was in attendance.

Spam Of The Day

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It’s always the trousers

And…

sniffle.

Bengals Re-Sign Devon Still To Help Him Pay For Daughter’s Cancer Treatments

…The Bengals re-signed defensive tackle Devon Still to their practice squad to help him pay for his 4-year-old daughter’s cancer treatments. He was waived by the team on Saturday, Aug. 30.

…But when Still received the call this morning that he had been signed to the practice squad, and in turn would receive health insurance as well as a weekly salary of $6,300, he was incredibly grateful. The signing also means that Still will continue playing the game he loves — for the team that drafted him — without all of the traveling, meaning he can be closer to his daughter as she undergoes treatments.

TigerHeart. Bravo, Bengals. BRA-VO.

Get well SOON, Leah.

WHY People Love the South

Even the chains do things diff’nt.

Yeah, BUDDY.

Lurch Declares “Religion Matters”

…and then he kept talking.

…Secretary of State John Kerry said it was the United States’ Biblical “responsibility” to “confront climate change,” including to protect “vulnerable Muslim majority counties.”

They Are Reclassifying Our Precious War Dogs as “EQUIPMENT”

…and LEAVING THEM TO DIE in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Like the BASTARDS don’t have a cargo plane they can put a cage or two on.

Jonah Goldberg: No military dog left behind

We’ve all heard the expression: “A man’s best friend is his equipment.”

You haven’t? Well you must not work for the Pentagon. There, military dogs are considered mere “equipment” and as such can be left behind when the troops come home.

…Legislation pushed by Rep. Walter Jones, R-N.C., that would require military dogs to be retired only upon return to the U.S. has been languishing in Congress for years. Politically, and morally, it’s understandable that the top priority must be given to providing human veterans with adequate care, particularly amid the horrific Veterans Affairs scandals plaguing the Obama administration. No politician wants to be accused of caring more about dogs than people. But that’s largely a false choice. The cost of finding room on military transports is negligible, according to many. Private organizations can handle the rest.

From Patrick at Popehat:

If you believe it’s wrong for the army to abandon its dogs in the wilds of Iraq and (coming soon) Afghanistan, why not call your congressional representatives to let them know you support Walter Jones’ bill prohibiting such practices, and may vote accordingly come November?

Don’t Worry, Be Happy File: Obama Says ISIS is a “Manageable Problem”

Like, not running out of toilet paper or accounting for ELEVEN missing Libyan jetliners or IRS hard drives.

As long as we’re cool and don’t lose our heads, we can unicorns and rainbows them into submission…or vapor.

Don’t Expose Your K-Cups

At least not in Washington

(Reuters) – The owner of Seattle-area drive-up coffee stands that offered caffeine and sex acts and earned hundreds of thousands of dollars in tips for her baristas pleaded guilty to felony charges of fraud and promotion of prostitution, the county prosecutor’s office said on Tuesday.

Carmela Panico, 52, must forfeit some $250,000 that police seized from her home last year and surrender her five coffee businesses in the Seattle area, the Herald of Everett newspaper reported, citing the Snohomish County Prosecuting Attorney’s Office.

A paralegal with the office confirmed the plea deal but did not provide specifics.

“The business was popular,” an affidavit filed late last month in Washington state Superior Court in Snohomish County said.

“Citizen complaints and police contacts alerted several law enforcement agencies that Panico and her employees would expose their breasts and genitals, engage in lewd conduct, and have sexual contact with some of their customers,” it said.

Panico owned and operated coffee sheds, with names like “Java Juggs” and “Twin Peaks” in Seattle area cities of Everett, Edmonds, Lynnwood, and Kent and sought to hide her money through financial transactions from April 2011 to June 2013, the court documents said.

Some baristas made between $15,000 and $30,000 in a month and one reportedly earned $89,000 in a single month, the charging documents alleged.

Customers in many cases would pay a barista $20 – $6 for a coffee plus $14 to expose her breasts or bottom. One barista said she made about $100,000 per year, the affidavit said.

Panico must also testify against a former Snohomish County sheriff’s sergeant who is accused of warning Panico about police investigations into her drive-up brothels in exchange for sex, the Herald of Everett said.

Yet another innovative, hard-working entrepreneur crushed out of business by the State.

I Get Mighty Tired of These Big Tough Guys

…cracking on a what a civilian said right before animals sawed his head off, or what his mother said trying to save her boy.

STFU, dickweeds. It’s horrific.

It Turns Out President No StraTEEgery

…HAD read it in the morning papers. Or COULD have, if he could get his nose out of the comics.

There Have Been No Naked Bingley Photos Hacked From iCloud

You may rest assured, Gentle Readers.

From “The Sod Off Swampy” Files

Via Tim we learn that sensible, rural Indian villagers are shockingly not amused by condescending liberal Westerners

Denied energy for 33 years, the Indian village of Dharnai nevertheless rightfully rejects sub-standard electricity:

Greenpeace decided to use the village as an example to the world to showcase how communities can do just fine on renewable energy. Greenpeace India set up a “solar-powered micro-grid” to power the village and it was paraded before the media as a success.

But the villagers hate it, because their new power source is rubbish. India Today reports:

They now want asli bijli (real electricity) from the government.

Slogan such as “Hamen nakli nahin, asli bijli chahiye (We do not want artificial energy, give us the real one,)” greeted former Chief minister Nitish Kumar, as he went to the village to see how the long forgotten region, devoid of electricity since 1981, looked after dusk.

Nitish … was met by village youngsters carrying placards demanding “real source of energy”, and “not the fake solar powered” one.

How dare they not worship at the feet of Greenpeace for their solar set-up…which is useless at night. Hell, they should be sleeping and not worry about such corrupting icons of Western Decadence like refrigerators. And lights. And hospitals.

Sing it with me now: “Hamen nakli nahin, asli bijli chahiye (We do not want artificial energy, give us the real one!)”

Ah, good times, good times!

Of Course You Know, Since ALL Black Youths Are SO Disenfranchised by White Folk

…that when he attacked this granny in Publix, she brought it on herself.

video platformvideo managementvideo solutionsvideo player

And, of course, he knew how to defend himself against her White Privilege. NINE previous felony charges, including robbery with a weapon, kind of hone your survival skills. His runnin’ buddies are equally as accomplished…

…The video allegedly shows Cox and two other teenagers grab the purse and knock Dunaway to the ground. She suffered a head injury and broken bones.

…Investigators said that immediately after the crime they didn’t get as many tips as they expected, but they were able to trace where Cox and two other teens allegedly used Dunaway’s stolen credit cards. They said they were able to collect surveillance video of the teens using the credit cards.

“Those video images gave us car descriptions. Those cars came back as being stolen, and as part of where the cars were stolen and a couple other things the investigation led to, it’s these three kids,” said Lt. Mike Bryant with the Ocoee Police Department.

When police decided to charge Cox in the Publix incident, they learned that he and two other 14-year-olds they were seeking were already in the Juvenile Detention Center, accused of using stolen credit cards and having stolen cars.

Those other two teens had a combined 26 felonies, police said.

I’m sure it’s our fault in there somewhere. Let me search my soul.

Nope. Nothing yet.

There Are Worthy Government Studies

…and then there aren’t.

You can title this one The ONGOING Study to Figure Out WHY Lesbians Are Disproportionately Fat.

I shit you not.

OR you could call it what the clever fellows who filed the research grants did:

SEXUAL ORIENTATION AND OBESITY: TEST OF A GENDERED BIOPSYCHOSOCIAL MODEL

Women of minority sexual orientation are disproportionately affected by the obesity epidemic, with nearly three-quarters of lesbians overweight or obese, compared to half of heterosexual women…

WHILE they were SWEATING losing their ‘stipend’ due to sequestration, this year’s 2014 pay-out has survived to the tune of costing you $670+K, ON TOP of the $2,202,913 in funding they’ve received since it got cranking in 2011 (2011-$778,662/2012-$741,378/2013-$682,873).

Think back to some of the illustrious moments in this administration’s reign so far. They LOCKED WWII Vets OUT of their Memorial, wouldn’t allow Boy Scouts and OLD LADIES through the White House, THREATENED military retiree pay, BARRICADED the National Parks, wanted WOUNDED VETS to get their OWN insurance, gave EVERYBODY a WHOPPIN’ heart attack of EPIC PROPORTIONS…but kept the bucks flowing to the “how on EARTH did these wymmins get so ROTUND?” research committee.

Yeah. THE ‘no stra-tee-gery’ guys.

Great Truisms in Life: If You Overdose, Don’t Call One of the Olsen Twins BeFORE Dialing 9-1-1

…and, if you need a hostage rescued, DON’T call Obama.

What’s More Fun Than Ebola?

Why, an Ebola that has mutated, obviously

The Ebola virus sweeping through West Africa has mutated repeatedly during the current outbreak, a fact that could hinder diagnosis and treatment of the devastating disease, according to scientists who have genetically sequenced the virus in scores of victims.

The findings, published Thursday in the journal Science, also offer new insights into the origins of the largest and most deadly Ebola outbreak in history, which has killed more than 1,500 people in four countries and shows few signs of slowing. It also provided another reminder of the deep toll the outbreak has taken on health workers and others in the affected areas, as five of the paper’s more than 50 co-authors died from Ebola before publication.

Just not a whole lot of good news for those poor folks.

All I Can Say is DAY-YUM!

Right after I wipe the drool off from the thought of him.

GAH-rrroowwwllll.

On the Side of a PUBLIC Road at the BUSIEST Time of the Year

But don’t you be taking pictures of her Royal Highness. Don’t you dare. She’s “trying to have a private moment” doncha know.

How ’bout she takes her imperial derriere and power walks on her PRIVATE bazillion dollar vacay estate.

Or get a new job.

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Since I KNOW We’re All Sharp as Tacks First Thing in the Morning

How about a little Common Core math to get things rolling?

The Saddest, Most Depressing Video Ever Made

(damage at a winery in Napa after yesterday’s earthquake)

Invaders With Some Style

200 years ago the Britsh sacked D.C.

The British knew how to build a bonfire. You just stacked the furniture, sprinkled it with gunpowder and put a torch to it.

They built multiple fires inside the Capitol, immolating the Supreme Court, the Library of Congress and the splendid chambers of the House and Senate.

Later in the evening, Ross and Cockburn made their way to the White House and helped themselves, amid hearty toasts, to the fabulous meal and adult beverages left by Mrs. Madison and her staff. They took a few souvenirs, and one filthy lieutenant ventured into the president’s dressing room and put on one of the president’s clean linen shirts.

Then they set the fires. Up in flames went some of the most beautiful furniture in the country, including pieces obtained by Jefferson in Paris and the private possessions of the Madisons. The fires left the mansion a gutted, smoldering shell.

The British also burned the Treasury building, and the building housing the War and State departments.

They ransacked the National Intelligencer newspaper office, with Cockburn ordering the seizure of all the letter C’s from the presses so that the editor could no longer write nasty things about him.

The Americans themselves burned the Navy Yard to keep the ships and stores out of British hands.

Hehe, I like that.

Update: Oh fer Pete’s sake: via aelfheld in the comments, evidently some delicate types on twitter don’t understand droll British humor

The British Embassy in Washington has apologized after tweeting a photo marking the 200th anniversary of British troops burning the White House on August 24, 1814, during the War of 1812.

The photo shows a cake featuring the White House, a few sparklers and the Stars and Stripes and Union Jack. Included in the caption: “Only sparklers this time!”

I think that’s pretty damned funny, myself.

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