Absolutely No Cannibals in New Orleans

And now it seems there were none in the Sierras, either.

There’s no physical evidence that the family who gave the Donner Party its name had anything to do with the cannibalism the ill-fated pioneers have been associated with for a century and a half, two scientists said Thursday.

Make no bones about it ~ it’s time for these media feeding frenzies to stop.

22 Responses to “Absolutely No Cannibals in New Orleans”

  1. The_Real_JeffS says:

    I misread your title — I thought it said “Absolutely No Cannabis in New Orleans” at first.

  2. (We know where YOUR mind is…)

  3. Dave J says:

    “…and when I say that there is absolutely no cannibalism in the Royal Navy, what I mean is that there is some–quite a lot in fact and far more than I’d ever be willing to admit–but we have the situation under control and most everyone now agrees it’s the RAF that really suffers from this problem…”

  4. “Jenkins! Put down that leg!”

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    Well, the article says that they didn’t find evidence that the Donners ate people, as they were camped 6-7 miles away from the majority of the party, who did.

  6. WunderKraut says:

    Listen…chaps…there’s still a chance. I’m…done for, I’ve…got a gammy leg and I’m going fast; I’ll never get through. But…some of you might. So…you’d better eat me.
    Eat you, sir?
    Yes. Eat me.
    uuhh! With a gammy leg?
    You needn’t eat the leg, Thompson. There’s still plenty of good meat. Look at that arm.
    It’s not just the leg, sir.
    What do you mean?
    Well, sir…it’s just that –
    Why don’t you want to eat me?
    I’d rather eat Johnson, sir!

  7. You quibble about nibbles, Bingley!

  8. Ken Summers says:

    ‘E’s not kosher, sir

  9. Mr. Bingley says:

    Did you hear about the tribe in Africa who got sick after they boiled and ate the missionary?
    Turns out he was a friar…

  10. Ken Summers says:

    …They washed it all down with 7-Up. But they didn’t eat the missionary’s thing. Because things go better with Coke.

  11. Nightfly says:

    Man, first Sacco and Vanzetti did it, and now a rich comic vein has been closed off. I don’t know what to believe anymore. Next you’ll tell me that Titanic has been sitting safely in port for the past 90 years.

  12. Ralph says:

    THE DOONER PARTY WE IN FACT CANNIBALS!!! You can’t decide to go try and clear their name 150 years later by saying, “We went and dug around and didn’t find any human bones”. IT WAS 150 YEARS AGO! the bones are not going to be just lying around a few feet under the ground!! People in the media are stupid and must be bored to just go around making up crap stories and fake truths!

  13. Ken Summers says:

    Not to worry, Diphtheria, we’ll always have the rugby players…

  14. A warm Swill Welcome, Ralph!! And how lucky for us they throw everything up there ~ just LOOK at the material we have to work with!! It don’t get no better than this. No, sir. {8^P Glad you joined the crowd.

  15. I thought the cannibals were in Germany, but since the Euros have an early-release program…he’ll be out soon.
    The Donners (Mormons) were headed to San Jose, which at that time had the biggest Mormon population west of the Mississippi and was vying with Salt Lake City for preeminence and which would become the Mormon Capital – so maybe the cannibal-scandal had somewhat to do with a shift to Salt Lake as their center…?

  16. Mr. Bingley says:

    That’s something to chew on, keith…

  17. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Very humerus, Mr. Bingley. But, please, no ribbing keith.

  18. Ken Summers says:

    Yeah, Bingley. That takes some gall.

  19. Watch out ya’ll ~ he’s pretty thin skinned.

  20. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’ll just go home and stew then.

  21. Ken Summers says:

    Hope it’s a lung trip home and you gut to stew a lot. Bone apetit, little fella.

  22. He’ll do anything to get a leg up…

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