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February 24, 2005
Today's 'Here's Yer Sign' Story
Dateline:Late Saturday Night, Local Hotspot, Pensacola, FL
An employee was taking out the trash when he noticed a fellow moving swiftly away from the dumpsters area. Once there, he was horrified to discover a badly beaten 22 year old woman, lying unconscious in pools of blood. 911 called, EMT's/Pensacola's finest arrived, description of assailant issued, standard 'catch the rat bastard' stuff.
Our nod to Bill Engvald ?
In this day and age of narcissistic, technologically saavy twentysomethings and camera phones,
never EVER pose for a picture.
Especially when you're sitting at a table with the very same girl you will shortly be causing egregious and most heinous harm to.
If this all works out as it should, he will be rapidly identified. Pensacola's finest can then proceed to TAZER the dogshit out of him (as they are wont to do and their fascist tendencies forgiven in this instance), hopefully with the leads attached to his cajones.
Here's yer sign.
Posted by tree hugging sister at February 24, 2005 10:52 AM
Comments
I heard another story on the radio this morning. Some years back, some guy called a phone-in talk show in Chicago and bragged about a bank robbery he and associates had committed.
A bank teller from that bank happened to be listening and recognized enough details to know which robbery it was and called police, who were able to track the cell phone number from the station's call logs. Dude nailed, along with his associates.
Here's his sign.
Posted by: Ken Summers at February 24, 2005 12:07 PM
Misheard it the first time. I caught the refeed of the program right after commenting. It's a current story, and it's right here.
Posted by: Ken Summers at February 24, 2005 12:24 PM
I remember reading a story a few years ago about a guy who took some bad cocaine he was sold by a dealer to a police station to complain about the quality.
Posted by: Emily at February 24, 2005 12:38 PM