The Coalition of the Swilling

I was so disappointed when I found out the "Mr. Gronsky" story was a myth.

Ah, that's too bad. That's a great story.

Armstrong hears it every once in a while.

Anyway, as the evening was coming to a close, I made my way toward a dignitary in the audience who was looking lonesome and wanting some company, Neil Armstrong.

Here was the first man to stand on the moon, and the man who is the subject of the most classic American joke ever told.

It is said that after Neil declared, "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," he muttered under his breath, "...and congratulations, Mr. Gronsky!"

Being mentally trapped in the 7th grade, I could not contain myself, and asked our American icon, "Neil, have you heard the one about, 'Congratulations, Mr. Gronsky?'"

He leaned closer to give me his ear.

"When Neil Armstrong was thirteen years old in Wapakoneta, Ohio he loved playing baseball. One warm summer's night, while playing a pick-up game in the neighborhood, a ball popped over his head and landed in the juniper bushes up against the Gronsky's house. He found the ball just below the Gronosky's bedroom window where he overheard, "Sex!? You'll get sex when we walk on the moon!'"

Mr. Armstrong looked at me, smiled an indulgent smile, put his hand on my shoulder, and muttered, "Son, you told that joke better than the fourteen well intended souls who told it to me yesterday...congratulations."

Actually, I always knew the story was not true but I loved it and wanted it to be true.

It had to be crushing for you. Just crushing. Like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny to other folks.

What about the Easter Bunny???????????

The Easter Bunny was killed by the Great Pumpkin's evil henchman Linus van Pelt. I hate to break it to you like that, B.

BACK SLOWLY away from the PUMPKIN, Summers! And I'll forget you ever said that.

I'm cool with that Ken. Such a violent death proves he existed.

'Tis better to have lived and been foully killed by an evil henchmen than never to have lived at all.

Don't try to sugarcoat your blasphemy, infidel.

Hey, I've seen Bingley in a pink bunny suit hanging around with a bunch of North Koreans, but I'm not saying anything else.....

Hey, you had the pirate outfit on, if I remember correctly, Crusader...

Just an observation from my seat in the bleachers: I think Neil Armstrong should be the star of any room he's in. Hard to believe he'd be unattended.

It really wouldn't surprise me, Rob, since he's been the master wallflower for all these years. How many people would recognise him now if someone else didn't point him out? He looks every bit the shy, frumpy college professor he's been.