The Coalition of the Swilling

Okay, I'll bite. Who is he?

Eddie Izzard, Mike. British comedian.

One of the funniest "blokes" around, for sure. I love this guy.

Exactly! I think he's a genius, Miss Em. (Every time I think of his letter from St. Paul to the Corinthians routine, I could cry, it's that funny.)

Cake or...DEATH!

"Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry."

"You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"

"Well, I meant cake!"

"Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!"

"Cake or death?"

--

"Lieutenant Sebastian, what is it?"

"It's the Rebels, sir...they're here!"

"By God, man! Do they want tea?"

"I don't think so, sir. I don't know what they want, but they've brought a flag."

"Damn! That's dash cunning of them!"

And St. Paul, he wrote letters, didn’t he? “St. Paul’s Letter to the Corinthians.” Always writing to the Corinthians. “St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians – Chapter 1 – Verses 1 to 53. Dear Corinthians, as you can tell from my preamble, it’s gonna be quite a long letter. Here we go: Don’t do bad things, only do good things. Always treat your neighbour like someone who lives near to you. Never put a sock in a toaster. Never put jam on a magnet. Never throw your Granny in a bag. Never suck all the juice out of a vampire. Never lean over on Tuesday…”
(takes drag out of joint)
“Lots of other things, but I gotta go and have a Mars bar now. Love, Paul (Saint).”
(cracks up)
Is that how he wrote his name? “Paul (Saint). B.A. honours.” Yeah, so he wrote this – “All right, that’s the end of the letter…”
(mimes folding the letter, putting it into an envelope and licking it closed)
“The Corinthians… Corinth.”
(mimes sending the letter out like a paper plane)

They must’ve been real f*cked off over in Corinth, don’t you think? The postman going,

“Come on, one of you Corinthians, gotta take this letter.”

“Oh, f*ck off! That’s from old mourner St. Paul, isn’t it? No… I don’t want it, I don’t want it!”

“You gotta take it. Come on, I gotta have a signature for it.”

“Oh, f*ck off! It says “the CorinthianS,” plural. Ask someone else. Oh, give it here. What does it say…? ‘Don’t do this, don’t do that… Never put a sock in a toaster? Jam on a magnet…’ Ooh, he’s lost his brain, ain’t he? Whose idea was it to be a pen-pal with St. Paul anyway? That f*cking backfired, didn’t it? He’s supposed to stop doing it at about 15, he’s been doing it for years… Come on, Corinthians, come on, general meeting. We’re gonna write a letter back to him, stop all this rubbish.”