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May 08, 2006

Lord Xenu Is Not Amused With Your Antics

The wires are all a-buzz with the hoped-for Cruise Crash and Burn:

"Mission: Impossible 3" had a tough weekend: The total take, according to boxofficemojo.com, came to $48 million. And this was a wide, wide release: More than 4,000 theaters unreeled Tom Cruise and company’s latest adventure if you wanted to see it. The problem, it seems, is that a lot of people didn’t.

How to measure the "M:I:3" opening weekend? Last year, "War of the Worlds," Cruise’s last movie, earned $64.8 million on its opening. The number of theaters was comparable.

In 2000, "Mission: Impossible 2," in 400 fewer theaters, did $58 million. The first "Mission: Impossible," back in 1996, took in $45 million, but in a thousand fewer theaters.

It took in less money while showing in more theaters and with higher ticket prices too. Woo-hoo!

See-ya, Psycho-Nut!

Posted by Mr. Bingley at May 8, 2006 07:57 AM

Comments

But he's a natural. He's under deep cover with a new beard whom he is supposed to have sired a child on. THAT'S dedication, THS. I tell you, the man has the chops for this role. He's like a latter-day Valerie Plame! So, don't you be dissin' Tom Boy, you meanie.

Posted by: Dan Collins at May 8, 2006 08:06 AM

Very good news indeed. Mwahahahaha.

Posted by: Cullen, Xenu's box office statistician at May 8, 2006 08:18 AM

Lord Xenu truly works miracles. Praise his holy name.

Posted by: Tainted Bill at May 8, 2006 08:19 AM

He sired a child on his beard?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 8, 2006 08:20 AM

Oops. I mean Bingley. Meanie.

Hey, did you get my Patrick Kennedy one-act?

Posted by: Dan Collins at May 8, 2006 08:20 AM

I saw it in the inbox but didn't get a chance to look at it.

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 8, 2006 08:21 AM

Oh Emily...

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at May 8, 2006 08:22 AM

It bombed in Germany!!! Go krauts!

Posted by: Emily at May 8, 2006 11:21 AM