The Coalition of the Swilling

Of course Republicans care about children. When they are not eating them, they are gleefully taken food out of their mouths for the joy of watching them starve. You can't buy that kind of entertainment.

Well, officially, I'm an independent, but I do care for children in a Republican sort of way. Who else can I get to work long hours so cheaply? I mean, a chunk of bread and some water once a day, and they're happy.

So what's the beef, Angelina? Are the pre-teens not buying enough "Lara Croft" posters to hang from their bedroom ceilings?

She said something remarkably astute in the same interview. She said she gets paid a ridiculous amount of money for what she does. To me, that shows that the neurons are firing. At least part of the time...

As for naming her child what amounts to a direct translation of "New Messiah" and her allegiance to the UN... well you can't win them all. She is a carnie, after all. And carnie folk do strange things.

And she is damn gorgeous.

She scares the bejeebus out of me, Susanna.

Seriously, if someone told me three years ago that Jolie would have adopted two children from Third World countries with Brad Pitt, and given birth to Brad Pitt's spawn, and become some sort of global humanitarian fixture,

or

If someone had told me three years ago that she had become a vampire lesbian underworld gun-runner with a fondness for fresh lamb's blood,

I would have believed the latter.

She's still gorgeous. Just very, very scary.

I still wouldn't rule out choice 'B' though.

What's scarier, Susanna, is that for either of those choices, it's even money on it being either her next movie or her actual life.

Indeed, both have equal probability of being,

1. "truth is stranger than fiction" (aka "you CAIN'T make dat shit up!")

and/or

2. "senior creative writing thesis of U of Iowa English major and future member of the Writers Guild of America"