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April 24, 2007

Pole Chops Pole

Well, twig, really

HORRIFIED diners watched in shock as a maniac sliced off his manhood in a crowded pizza restaurant.

The 35-year-old Pole burst into the Zizzi eaterie in central London and grabbed a knife from the kitchen.

He then leapt on a table and dropped his trousers as customers fled screaming.

...Last night cops were trying to establish the Pole’s background. He had left no identification in the clothing he discarded. A source said: “We believe he’s Polish and 35. We don’t know if he has a history of mental illness, but he’s clearly not a well boy.”

Let's not rush to conclusions...

Remind me not to order the sausage rolls at that place.

Posted by Mr. Bingley at April 24, 2007 01:20 PM

Comments

He must have been humming the refrain of that old lullaby:

"Wiener, wiener, whack away..."

Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 24, 2007 01:39 PM

"he’s clearly not a well boy"

Apparently, he's no longer any kind of boy.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 24, 2007 02:05 PM

Nor a MANiac.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 24, 2007 02:26 PM

I'll bet no one will ever order the kielbasa at that place.

Posted by: Gunslinger at April 24, 2007 03:53 PM

Depends on the shelf-life, Gunny.

Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 24, 2007 04:30 PM

I wonder what his name is. Anybody know what's Polish for "John Thomas"?

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 24, 2007 06:03 PM

Or Peter?

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 24, 2007 06:04 PM

Or... never mind. I'll stop now.

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 24, 2007 06:05 PM

Piotr Lopoff perhaps?

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 24, 2007 06:25 PM

His last words to the waitress were "I'll take the Wiener Schnipsall..."

Posted by: Mr. Bingley at April 24, 2007 06:27 PM

"...with a cup of Hi C."

Posted by: tree hugging sister at April 24, 2007 06:38 PM

Perhaps he's a fan of this famous couple?

Posted by: The_Real_JeffS at April 24, 2007 07:05 PM

Was there ever a more appropriately named couple than "Bobbitt"?

Unless maybe it's "Hackett".

Posted by: Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life at April 24, 2007 07:40 PM