Category: Uncategorized

There Used to Be a Famous Smothers Brothers Routine

…called:

My Old Man’s a CottonPickin’FingerLicken’ChickenPlucker“.

This isn’t remotely the same.

Police Investigating U.K. Supermarket ‘Chicken Licker’

Police in the U.K. are investigating hidden camera footage that shows a supermarket worker licking fresh chickens before putting them back on store shelves.

Delicious, no?

Eggzactly. It’s best to keep abreast of the fowler elements of society, even if you have to wing it. If you only scratch the surface, we’re left with nothing but dumb clucks.

“NObody Puts Baby in a Corner”


God, I love that man.

Hoooooooooo Boy!

No Christmas card for you…you…DENIER !!!

(2) Silencing Dissent: I believe the climate is always changing. But what percentage of that change is human-induced? Like most, I believe that a more balanced energy supply benefits us politically due to the reduced reliance on foreign sources and benefits us locally due to improved air quality. But several times during debates individuals have told me I should not question the “settled science” due to the moral imperative of “saving the planet”. As with a religious debate, I’m told that my disagreement means I do not “care enough” and even if correct, I should not question the science. This frightens me.

I can see the starving polar bears circling now…

If Only I’d Known ACORN Was There for Career Planning

I wouldn’t be working part time now ~ I’d be “free-lancing”. Sounds much easier than my current gig.

The scandal surrounding the left-wing activist organization ACORN has spread to New York, with employees at its Brooklyn office caught on video helping supposed ladies of the night get loans for their dream houses of ill repute.

…”Honesty is not going to get you the house,” a loan counselor at the offices told two activists posing as a mortgage-seeking pimp and prostitute.

…For tax and banking purposes, and to establish a legitimate income and credit history, Giles was told she needed to start saying she was a “freelancer.”

They Can Get to the Heart

…of even the hardest soul (Tony Bourdain in Lebanon, anyone?).
I’m glad to see they got to his.

…I know it sounds corny, but it’s impossible not to want to do right by these Marines. To get the story right.

But I’m even gladder he chose to write and report about it. Thanks, Anderson.

Semper Fi, leathernecks!

I See Dead People

…so I can relate.

…And there are sea monsters in Lake Michigan.

I can feel them when I’m boating.

“So I Pulled Into a Shell Station and They Said I’d Blown a Seal!”

I said, “Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?”

A fishy song for fishy times.

I Was Going to Wait for “Talk Like a Pirate” Day

But I’m weak.

“…And Some of That Criticism Appears to Be Orchestrated”

“…causing the White House to push back.”

Part of Charlie Gibson’s lead-in tonight on the welcome some members of Congress are getting back home. As soon as enough Silent Majority types finally get pushed far enough to express their dissatisfaction vocally en masse, it becomes “orchestrated”. Remember Texass congressman Lloyd Doggett? The same guy who had his tookus handed to him by a vocal crowd of constituents?

Amazing what a friendly camera and a chance to get freshened up clear of the maddening crowd can do for somebody. According to ol’ Lloyd [at 6:20 in], the sense of dissatisfaction and mob-like crankiness had NOTHING to do with his performance and the Obama boondoggles he’s helped bring to fruition. Safe, rested, feathers resmoothed and his fear-shriveled gonads (the technical term) reinflated, he boldly claims that’s there’s “nothing authentic about these protests” [Jake Tapper].

This notion of a grassroots campaign is totally and completely phony. The Republican Party has coordinated this apparent outrage and stirred it up.”

Really, Lloyd? Folks couldn’t come to this conclusion on their own? The Republican Party is so powerful and relevant in people’s lives ~ even the most non-descript, non-entity Bocephus, Texas/Missouri/Illinois/Pennsylvania/ad nauseum life ~ that they can organize the ENTIRE COUNTRY to make you and your fellow thieves miserable at a moment’s notice in townhalls the length and breadth of this country? Really?!?! They can summon the masses and raise the dead at will? The Republican Party is that THAT powerful?

Riddle me this then, Lloyd: Where was all this supposed power when you all got your One for president? How’d THAT happen?!?! I’d sure as shit rather have McCain than a teaparty, but we got the Joker.

Nah. Can’t blame Republicans, because if they were that good, we wouldn’t have Obama to kick around. You all pissed all those normal, everyday types off all on your own and I’ll even bet half of them voted for your side.

It’s a wicked case of buyer’s remorse, Lloyd. Hope and change turned into…well…you know.
“Shovel ready.”

Buried in This Article Is a Very Interesting Line

This is the headline:

Obama administration withholds data on program

WASHINGTON – The Obama administration is refusing to release government records on its “cash-for-clunkers” rebate program that would substantiate — or undercut — White House claims of the program’s success, even as the president presses the Senate for a quick vote for $2 billion to boost car sales.

Imagine that! No transparency from the Obama administration. Word is they’re just too dang busy to pass along the stats.

…will have to wait for details because federal officials running the program don’t have time to turn over data delivered by car dealers…

Stats which will, apparently, show that 6 of the 10 best selling vehicles are…?…wait for it….FOREIGN. Hyundais, Toyotas and Hondas.

Imagine that.

SO what was it I found so interesting? This quote, from Monsieur Ray La Hood, Secretary of Transportation for the Obama administration.

…LaHood also said this week that even if buyers aren’t choosing cars made by U.S. automobile manufacturers, many of the Honda, Toyota and Hyundai cars sold were made in those companies’ American plants.

Well, wait a cotton pickin’ minute!!!

Didn’t we just buy GM because those plants weren’t American enough?

Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

“…In a Fashion That is Civil, Respectful…and Let Me Say One Other Thing.”

“In a fashion that is informed

-Rep. TIM BISHOP [D-NY] So besides being a Democrat demanding of his constituents ~ civility and respect ~ that which Democrats have never demanded of themselves, he has also just implied those same constituents…

are too stupid to speak.

I think that’s worthy of a sign at his next appearence, n’est pas?

Erin Go Bragh!!

God bless ’em!!

U.S. soldiers were given a true Irish welcome at a wedding in Co Clare this week.

The 300 troops were stranded in Shannon last weekend after their Iraq-bound plane was grounded.

As luck would have it, they were booked into the same hotel as the wedding party for Amelia Walsh and Sean O’Neill.

And so the 300 troops were invited to join the festivities at the Clare Inn in Newmarket-on-Fergus.

The groom’s uncle, Joe O’Neill said: “It didn’t take long before the combat fatigues were manoeuvring to the strains of ‘The Walls of Limerick’.”

The happy couple posed for pictures with the troops earlier in the day and Eamon Walsh, the father of the bride, said the couple were “proud” to have the soldiers at their function.

Walsh said the couple invited the men in so they could experience an Irish wedding.

“They behaved in an exemplary manner at all times and if our troops behaved in the same way when they are on peacekeeping duties, I would be very proud,” he said.

Thanks to Gabriel at Ace’s for the party report.

Getting Ahead of the Apology Pack

a little prematurely, I’m thinking.

Dutch Return Severed Head of African Chief to Descendants

The descendants of an African chief who was hanged and decapitated by a Dutch general 171 years ago reluctantly accepted the return of his severed head Thursday, still angry even as the Dutch tried to right a historic wrong.

…But descendants of the chief said they were not consoled.

“I am hurt, angry. My grandfather has been killed,” said Joseph Jones Amoah, the great, great grandson of the chief.

WAS killed, son. “WAS“. A hunnert and seventyone years ago.

Not killed yesterday. Or killed last week. And ~ Dutch groveling aside (“Foreign Minister Maxime Verhagen used the ceremony to apologize for Dutch involvement in the slave trade.“) ~ NOT killed without a certain amount of provocation…

…The head was taken by Maj. Gen. Jan Verveer in 1838 in retaliation for Bonsu’s killing of two Dutch emissaries, whose heads were displayed as trophies on Bonsu’s throne, said Arthur Japin, a Dutch author who discovered the king’s head when he was working on a historical novel.

I hope their families are demanding a similar courtesy.

Never ones to waste a good almost two centuries old crisis, the Ghanian graduates of the Rahm Emanuel School of Gimme swung into feigned outrage action.

The elders demanded the Dutch government provide aid to their tribe to appease the slain chief.

Nana Kwekwe Darko III, who tipped the gin on the floor in a Ghanaian tradition of respect for the dead, dabbed tears from his eyes afterward and said he wanted the Dutch to build schools and hospitals for his people.

See what alcohol does to a simple head returning ceremony? People get all maudlin and start talking crazy talk.

I’ll bet the Precedent’s ordered lackies to check out the Smithsonian basement right this second. It’ll be interesting to see if he can get a leg up on the Dutch.

Constitution?

What does a “constitutional scholar” need to know about the Constitution?

Clinton says she would, as previously announced, sign ASEAN’s seminal Treaty of Amity and Cooperation, a commitment to peacefully resolve regional disputes that has already been signed by more than a dozen countries outside the 10-nation bloc.

The U.S. signing will be by the executive authority of Obama and does not require congressional ratification, said a senior administration official who spoke on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss the move publicly.

I know I’m not a Harvard educated lawyer, so obviously my thoughts on this should be instantly disregarded, if not outright banned, but doesn’t the US Constitution, that “charter of negative liberties” as he so famously (well, not famously enough) put it, doesn’t the Constitution have something to say about how treaties are to be made

He shall have power, by and with the advice and consent of the Senate, to make treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur;

“Does not require congressional ratification” my ass.

Think he can find 66 votes for this?

More importantly, do you think anyone on Capitol Hill or in the MSM will make him try?

They can “sign” all the pieces of paper they want, but until it is debated and approved by the Senate it means nothing.

Super Action Hot Breaking Exclusive!

With the internets all a buzz about the exciting discovery of Sarah Palin’s SAT scores, which conclusively prove how smart the lefty blogosphere is and just how, well, pitiful, really, damn near anyone who doesn’t agree with them is, I can now reveal for the first time EVUH Sarah Palin’s acceptance letter to John McCain after he asked her to be his running mate:

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SHOCKING News Via Kcruella: Mood in New York City Turns Desperate

You had to think it might come to this, you know? The eyewitness account she sent:

Subject: Jumper
My friend was in traffic all morning trying to get across the Tappan Zee Bridge into NYC.
Once he was able to get across the bridge, he saw that someone was trying
to jump off. Cops were able to save him.
He was able to take this picture when he passed. This is the poor guy
that was trying to jump off the bridge….

(Caution: Probably NSFW)

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What’s Another $37 Billion Among Friends?

I mean, really, it’s beyond parody

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) — The New York Federal Reserve is lending up to $37.8 billion to American International Group to give the troubled insurer access to much-needed cash.
In exchange, AIG is giving the New York Fed investment-grade, fixed-income securities that it had previously lent out to other institutions for a fee. Those institutions are now returning these securities and want their money back.
The new program, announced Wednesday, is on top of the $85 billion the federal government agreed to lend to AIG last month to prevent the global company from collapsing. AIG said last Friday it had drawn down $61 billion.

I guess they have a few more spa visits coming up.

Bailout Vote: Fails

I haven’t found the vote total yet
update: what the TV is showing is the Dem votes 141 for and 94 against
The Repubs 66 for and 132 against

Well…::insincere”TCHTCH”::…

that’s a shame.

…But the reality for Mr. Biden is that while running mates are second-fiddlers by definition, the phenomenon of Ms. Palin has rendered him something of a fourth or fifth fiddle. It is not like last month, when reporters swarmed Mr. Biden’s Delaware home and delegates swooned at the Democratic convention. He is now trailed by just a few national reporters, and struggling to break through in a race marked by historic firsts, political celebrities and charismatic newcomers — none named Joe Biden.

::winkwinknudgenudgesaynomoresaynomore::

::snicker::
Stop that now!!

Congrats, Camilo!

He’s a real nice guy; I’m glad he’s gotten the first of hopefully many victories.

If I Were the “Supervisor of Teachers”

…I’d watch my ass.

Florida Substitute Teacher Fired, Accused of Wizardry
…Jim Piculas said he made a toothpick disappear and reappear in front of students at the Rushe Middle School in Land ‘O Lakes, Fla., Local6.com reported. He said he later got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he had been accused of wizardry.


Wizard bytes kan be pretti nasti…
A warm Swill salute to Sad Old Goth.

As Allahpundit Might Say…

Dude

Police are investigating claims by AC Milan striker Ronaldo that a transvestite prostitute sought to extort money from him following an altercation at a Rio de Janeiro motel.
Police inspector Carlos Augusto Nogueira said that Ronaldo, who is recuperating from a knee injury in his homeland, contracted the services of three transvestites – believing them to be women – and took them to a motel.
However, Ronaldo is then said to have tried to get out of the situation after one of the men went in search of drugs.

What Kind of SICK MoFo Would Use Something THIS Disturbing

…for his Easter post?!?!?!?!

You knew all along, didn’t cha?

Compare and contrast

Our oh-so-tolerant multi-culti betters in Europe have abolished the death penalty and hate it so much that they didn’t want to extradite a filthy murdering scumbag to the U.S. because he might face the death penalty.
Oh, but that was years ago. My how times change:

Dutch high court rejects gay asylum seeker
Tue Mar 11, 6:55 PM ET
SUMMARY: Britain, where Mehdi Kazemi, 19, first sought asylum, is deemed responsible for his case; sympathetic lawmakers fear he’d be executed in Iran.
The Netherlands’ highest court Tuesday rejected a gay Iranian asylum seeker’s last-ditch bid to avoid deportation to Britain, where he fears authorities will send him back to Tehran and possible execution.
In a ruling published on its website, the Council of State said Britain is responsible for Mehdi Kazemi’s case, because it was there that the 19-year-old first applied for asylum.
Gay rights campaigner Rene van Soeren said Kazemi’s Dutch lawyer was considering an appeal to the European Court of Human Rights. The lawyer, Borg Palm, did not immediately return calls seeking comment.
Boris van der Ham, a lawmaker who has taken up Kazemi’s cause, has tabled questions in parliament asking the junior minister for immigration, Nebahat Albayrak, to lobby British authorities on Kazemi’s behalf.
Albayrak should either urge Britain not to send Kazemi back to Iran or offer him asylum in the Netherlands, Van der Ham said in a telephone interview.
[…] The Netherlands relaxes its tough asylum laws for Iranian gays — virtually guaranteeing asylum to any who apply here — because of persecution they face at home. Britain, on the other hand, rejected Kazemi’s original asylum request.
Kazemi, 19, says he traveled to London to study English in 2005 and applied for asylum in Britain after learning that his lover in Iran had been executed for sodomy.
After British authorities rejected Kazemi’s application, he fled to mainland Europe and applied for asylum in the Netherlands.

Dhimmification. It’s what’s for (halal) dinner.

Well…

all the cool kids are doing it. So is Cullen.

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