Dear Idiot Commissary Bagger Person

Wounded as I am, I must needs know what…WHAT…about my tuna Hawaiian roll sushi plate so offeded you? Was it the delicate latticework of sauce meticulously traced across the tops? Perhaps the slivered almonds and teenyTINY bits of avocado and cucumber sprinkled lovingly over that? Mayhap you found the generous wasabi glops, nestled in opposing corners of the plastic tray to be too isolated, too ALONE for their own good, therefore unnerving the balance of the entire composition and your miserable bagger day. For naught did I rifle through the ranks of lattice laden offerings, searching earnestly for the MOST sauce…the MOST almonds…the MOST pleasing arrangement to the eye, the FRESHEST date. Whence was clear these were no ordinary Hawaiian rolls, I snatched them from the bosom of their cooler, cradling them tenderly until safely nestled in parallel fashion on that horizontal cart island known as “the kiddie seat”. Yea, they were well nigh unassailable ~ remaining in that nurtured state until the checkout counter loomed. But even the checkout girl knew their worth, taking the plate from my quaking hands and setting it gently down at the end of her station.

The other bagger peson had seen such wonders before and, with due deference, placed the tuna Hawaiian roll in ITS OWN PLASTIC BAG. My heart was glad.

Right up to where I unloaded the car and found ~ to my horror ~ my tuna Hawaiian roll plate on its edge, slipped snuggly into the space between the quart of organic milk and the stack of cheeses. I couldn’t check the damage immediately thanks to the clear plastic coating properties of sauce festooned with bits of veggies. I could have wept. I did call the commissary and ask that they ‘school’ their third echelon sushi handlers to save some other poor soul my crushing disappointment.

I will thank you for clearing my sinuses, however, as the glops of wasabi were no longer alone.

And I’ll be watching for you next time I have some treat I wish to treasure.

Oh, yes I will.

3 Responses to “Dear Idiot Commissary Bagger Person”

1. Gary from Jersey says:

   November 17, 2009 at 4:02 pm

   The bagger was making a political statement about organic milk, methinks.

2. Ken S, Fifth String on the Banjo of Life says:

   November 17, 2009 at 6:38 pm

   I feel your pain.

3. Mark says:

   November 17, 2009 at 11:08 pm

   Perhaps it looked like bait to him…