How Much Viagra Does Barry Bonds Need?

So Barry Bonds says he won’t be back this season “because of his injured right knee.”
Bullshit.
He’s sitting at home drinking a lot of water and trying to flush all the drugs out of his system so that he doesn’t fail his pee test. I’m sure his handlers are checking his pee once a week to see how the levels of steroids are in his blood, and if they don’t drop enough he’ll come up with an ‘injury’ for next year too, until he can get the levels down low enough. All he cares about is the Hall of Fame and his records, and he knows that if he’s caught then all that is gone. Sure, there’s a lot of smoke around him, but he knows that as long as they can never find the fire then he’s golden.
Makes you cry when you think about the days when all the players were hopped up on were hot dogs and beer.

4 Responses to “How Much Viagra Does Barry Bonds Need?”

1. Ken Summers says:

   August 2, 2005 at 1:57 pm

   Heard this on the radio this morning about Rafael Palmeiro, attributed (IIRC) to Jay Leno: “Between the steroids and the viagra, he no longer needs a bat”

2. tree hugging sister says:

   August 2, 2005 at 2:14 pm

   (Bingley justs wants someone to say ‘weenie’ again.)

3. Mr. Bingley says:

   August 2, 2005 at 3:46 pm

   I do not, you weenie.

4. tree hugging sister says:

   August 3, 2005 at 12:18 am

   Name calling will get you nowhere, you ignorant clod. I’m NOT going to say it.