Scam Reply Hall of Fame
As promised below, the Watchful Babbler was kind enough to send me his scam-reply-to-end-all-scam replies:
From: worldlotto@os.dk
Received: from localhost.localdomain ([195.41.46.162]) by fepY.post.tele.dk
Subject: WINNING NOTIFICATION !!!!!!!!!!
World Email Lottery
BURDENSTRAAT 21B,
2053 DS AMSTERDAM,
THE NETHERLANDS
GOVERNMENT ACCREDITED LICENSED LOTTERY PROMOTERS.
Sir / Madam
We are pleased to inform you of the result of the Webmasters Global Email Lottery programs held on the 30th June, 2003. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 025-1146-1992-750 with Serial Number 2113-05 Drew lucky numbers 13-15-22-37-39-43 which consequently Won in the 1st category with another lucky winner, you both have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of US$1,000,000.00 (One Million United States Dollars). US$500,000.00 (Five hundred thousand United States Dollars) for each Lucky winner.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims has been processed and your money paid out to you. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from over 200,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses and names from all over the world. This promotional program takes place every three-year.
To file for your claims, please contact our FIDUCIAL AGENT in The Netherlands for your Winning claims and Processing E-mail: transatlanticbv@netscape.net. (Contact Officer- PETER OVERMASS) Please, be aware that our Paying Bank will effect Payment Swiftly upon satisfactory report, Verifications and validations provided by our processing Agent that would be designated to your file.
Remember, all winning must be CLAIMED not later than 30th of September 2003. After this date all unclaimed funds would be included in the next stake.
Please note that in other to avoid unnecessary delays and complications remember to quote your reference information in all correspondence. Furthermore, should there be any eventual change of information please inform our Agent as quickly as possible.
Yours truly,
Mr HARRISON VAN DAMME.
Games / Lottery Coordinator.
World Email Lottery
Central Europe Zone.
——————————————————————————–
Dear Mr. Van Damme:
I was absolutely overjoyed to find that I had been selected as a winner in your online lottery, and deeply appreciate the “five hundred thousand United States Dollars” I’ve won. The unsolicited nature of this offer, coming as it does from a company whose address exists in no map of Amsterdam that I can find, leaves me utterly stunned — all the more so since I do not live in any “Central Europe Zone.”
Your timing is exceptionally fortituous, since I have recently agreed to help one MR. AUGUST OSAGIE, the managing director of ALL STATE TRUST BANK OF NIGERIA in a financial matter he is handling.
MR. OSAGIE has graciously decided to list me as next of kin of the late MR. WAHAB DANIEL, whose fortune of SIX MILLION, TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS has gone unclaimed since his tragic death in an auto accident.
All MR. OSAGIE requires is a nominal cash investment for preprocessing fees and the cost of the legal transactions. Following that, I expect to have MR. DANIEL’S fortune transferred to my account shortly, of which I will keep 20%, or $1,246,000. (ONE MILLION TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS U.S.)
Because I believe that idle funds are the tax man’s playground, I have decided to put the monies received from MR. OSAGIE to work. To these ends, I have also been in contact with DR. IBRAHIM GEORGE QUATTARA of the FEDERAL MINISTRY OF HEALTH AND SOCIAL SERVICES in COTE D’IVOIRE.
DR. QUATTARA has accumulated, through the manipulation of OVER INFLATED CONTRACTS, the princely sum of ELEVEN MILLION; FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$11,500,000.00). Because these are not recognized as legitimate funds by his government, DR. QUATTARA needs help moving the money to another country. Of course, there will be a small cash investment needed to cover processing fees, legal transactions, and necessary bribes.
70% will be retained for future claim by DR. QUATTARA AND HIS COLLEAGUES, while I will receive 30% for my aid in this matter. or $3,450,000. (THREE MILLION FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS U.S.)
In a remarkable coincidence, MR. KENNEDY MUYANGA of SIERRA LEONE has appealed for my help. MR. MUYANGA’S FATHER was SPECIAL ADVISOR TO MAJOR JOHNNY PAUL KOROMAH, and MR. MUYANGA now holds a great deal of money from FOREIGN EXCHANGE DIAMOND EARNINGS in a BANK IN DUBAI.
MR. MUYANGA received my name from the United States Trade Mission in that country, my acumen as a businessperson evidently spreading far beyond my nation’s borders, and has requested my aid in remitting his earnings to a United States bank.
The BANK IN DUBAI requires a small amount of money as collateral during the funds transfer period. In exchange for helping MR. MUYANGA move US$35MILLION (THIRTY FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS) from DUBAI, I am promised 50% of total holdings, or $17,500,000 (SEVENTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS U.S.).
As you can see, your lottery could not have come along at a better time. Using only the winnings from your online lottery, I will make a total profit of SEVENTEEN MILLION DOLLARS U.S.
I invite you to join this exciting business opportunity, which all my prospective business partners assure me is 100% RISK FREE. In exchange for your aid in this matter, I offer 20% of our final holdings, which will amount to $3,500,000 (THREE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLARS U.S.)
All that you will have to do is contact MR. AUGUST OSAGIE (august_osagie@thepostmaster.net) and provide him with the bank account codes of your World Email Lottery so he can withdraw the five hundred thousand dollars that I have won.
Please ask MR. OSAGIE to contact DR. QUATTARA at (dr_georgequattara@indiatimes.com) or his direct telephone number (008821621127953) to provide direct payment of any necessary monies; then have DR. QUATTARA contact MR. KENNEDY MUYANGA at his e-mail address, (kennedymuyanga7@netscape.net) with his bank codes. Of course, both DR. QUATTARA and MR. MUYANGA will need your financial and banking information so they can transfer the required funds to and from your accounts.
Once the seventeen million dollars has been received from MR. MUYANGA, please contact me to arrange transfer and payment of your portion.
To ensure that all relevant excise, value-added, income, and capital gains taxes are handled properly, I will forward your e-mail to the American Treasury Department and the German government. I believe that they will find your offer as compelling as I do.
Please e-mail me to confirm your interest in this exciting offer. I await your reply.
Yours truly,
The Watchful Babbler
Fun | Mr. Bingley | 
February 8, 2005 11:53 am
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Finally got to read the whole thing. Hilarious.
heh. a work of art worthy of iowahawk.
Wow, that’s really funny. Babs did a grea job on that one! LOL!
I love these scams, and it’s always great when someone scams the scammer…but my favorite still has to be the infamous “P-P-P-Powerbook!” story.
LOL!
You’ve WON!!!
Via David Post at the Volokh Conspiracy… I now know exactly how to get hold of all that money from Nigeria… Dubai… and other parts of the world that so fervently wish to enrich my poor bank account. It just…