The Scales Of Justice…
Fail the fish
PORTLAND, Ore. – A Portland man who attacked his ex-girlfriend and impaled her pet fish this summer has been sentenced to two years probation, a psychological evaluation and community service. Donald Earl Fite III, 27, pleaded guilty Tuesday to animal abuse and domestic violence assault.
And just what exactly did this pesce ex-boyfriend do?
According to court records, Sarah Harris had broken up with Fite but returned to her Portland apartment July 25 to find him lying on her bed, saying he wanted to get back together.
He could no longer sleep with her, so he wanted to sleep with the fish?
When Harris tried to leave, Fite shoved her against a wall, grabbed her hair and tossed her against a bathtub.
Harris fled but returned with an officer to find her fish — a bright purple betta named “DeLorean” — on the wood floor with a knife through it.
According to court records, Fite quickly admitted killing the fish, telling police: “If she can’t have me, then she can’t have the fish.”
This almost reads like a Detective Paco novel, doesn’t it?
Fite’s attorney, Tom Macnair, said Tuesday that killing the fish was a “very low point” in his client’s life.
It was also a very low point in the fish’s life.
Harris did not attend the hearing. In a phone interview with The Oregonian newspaper, she recalled crying hysterically when she saw the fish with a knife sticking through it.
“Donald bought the fish for me, and I’m sure he knew how much I cared for it,” she said.
And how much you loved sushi.
Prosecutor Eric Zimmerman told Judge Eric Bergstrom that Harris plans to get a memorial tattoo of the fish and wanted Fite to pay for it. Bergstrom, however, declined to make Fite pay restitution for the tattoo.
The judge ordered Fite to stay away from Harris, but said he could have contact with fish.
The Rev. Al Carpton is organizing a protest and asking other fish to stay home from their schools today and join him to fight this outrage.
“We’ve had it up to our gills with this discrimination” he declared.
(h/t Dan Collins)
(Oh damn! The Miracle CrackWhip Addict beat me to this!)
Fun, People | Mr. Bingley | 
October 14, 2009 8:08 am
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Clearly, he didn’t buy that fish for the halibut.
Well, I do feel kind of sorry for the poor woman who walked in and flounder favorite pet filleted.
“flounder favorite pet filleted”
Oh. You think you can play my game?
He IS a “beta male”.
Oh, alpha.
Sorry.
AL-PHA.
LOL. I don’t know that alpha’s cook turducken.
Talk about a pain in the bass Ex, not to mention that the man clearly has no sole.
My plaice or yours? I wouldn’t carp over the details.
Rumor has it that he also smashed her Hootie and the Blowfish CD, but nobody cared enough to prosecute.
“ I don’t know that alpha’s cook turducken.”
That does tip the scales in a beta’s favor. Probably wears a French maid’s apron and fishnets whilst popping it in the oven.
And I agree with Dave. The man’s a piker.
At least taxpayers didn’t have to pay for a city-wide dragnet to hook the bad guy. Punishment to suit the crime? Not sure. I’ll have to mullet over.
Well if you’re going to go there, THS, what about his mental state? This doesn’t look like the work of a seine man.
It’s just a shame the fish was too far gone for a sturgeon.
I hear when they found the body they put a tarpon it.
You’re right, Dave. His synapses are so knotted up, he couldn’t float a coherent thought if he tried.