Well, I might as well join the pile-on too
So I was listening to the radio on the way to work and the host posed a survey question to the female members of the show’s crew. As best I can recall, the survey question went something like this:
“Suppose your husband came home and told you he had spent $4000 for four hours with a hooker. Then suppose that the reason he tells you this is that he is being investigated and that the story is on nationwide news. Then suppose that he asks you to go onstage with him at a press conference to show your support while he faces the reporters.
“The survey question is:
“What method would you use to kill him on the spot?”
Uncategorized | Ken S. | 
March 11, 2008 8:45 am
Subscribe
I’d drain him dry during the divorce. After I kicked him in the gnads.
“gnads”
Reminds me of that game from the 70s game Gnip-Gnop.
I’ll take all of the above.
Reminds me of a great Tracey Ullman Show skit: A member of Parliament is doing a press conference to deny some scandalous photos that have surfaced, and his wife has been instructed to stand there soberly and say only, “I just want to say that I trust my husband, and I support him completely.”
She keeps repeating that line until someone hands her the pictures: “But, Darling, that *does* look an awful lot like your. . . you know. . . with the little thing there. . .” Finally she realizes he is a total jerk and she goes ballistic on him in front of the press. It’s fantastic. I hope someday they put that show on DVD.
I don’t know which method Mrs. Spitzer is contemplating, but her expression at the press conference had me howling. Hmmm… should I take the ear, or just go right for the jugular? Now THAT would be some press conference.
Spitzer Mauled to Death
…
Wife assaults embattled governor like a timber wolf
…
At press time, carcass still being picked through by assorted media jackals and vultures
It would be the point where I pulled out multiple copies of my pre-nup agreement (the one with the clause that states that hiring a hooker immediately entitles me to 5/6 of his property, and with the other clause that says that if said act leads to my public humiliation, I get the other 1/6 as well), and then, after showing it to him, fold all but one of the copies* into Ninja Throwing Stars and basically bleed him to death with painful paper cuts.
(*I have to save one to bring to the lawyer, no?)
But Jeff_S’s option sounds good, too. Come to think of it, I’d choose some kind of non-lethal method to make him pay, because I doubt you can enjoy a guy’s fortune (and the general sense of revenge) very much when you’re in women’s prison.