Well

…that pretty much ruins it for me.

“Traditionally mistletoe was considered to be the semen of the gods and of the forest, because the berries contain a liquid that looks like and has the texture of semen,” he said.
“This is the real reason we kiss under it at Christmas, this and because mistletoe blooms in the dark womb of wintertime.”

38 Responses to “Well”

  1. Ken Summers says:

    Why does that ruin it for you?

  2. First submarines, now this. GACK.

  3. Cullen says:

    Submarines? You don’t like sandwiches?

  4. The_Real_JeffS says:

    TMI.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    You know, folks who look at the juice of berries and think “hey, semen!” and then build up this whole tradition about it have got, well, issues.
    Makes me appreciate those mistletoe-print boxers a bit more, though.

  6. Mike Rentner says:

    In ancient days, semen didn’t have such a stigma attached to it.

  7. John says:

    No, in ancient days, semen had more of a smegma attached to it.

  8. John says:

    Thought you’d like that one, THS.

  9. John says:

    Besides, aren’t Marines the ones who call that white DoD issue gun oil “Elephant Cum”? No former jarhead has the right to rag on the Druids in this respect.

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    Hahahahahahaha.
    Wasn’t it the greek philostopher Testiclees in 69 BC who said “Cogito ergo smegma”?

  11. Ken Summers says:

    John has just become my idol.

  12. John says:

    That’s a heavy responsibility to bear, Ken.

  13. Cullen says:

    Er, John, you might want to find out what happens to the other idols before you accept that responsibility.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    Yeah, Ken is very rough on his Idols

  15. WunderKraut says:

    You guys crack me up

  16. Nightfly says:

    So not-appropriate for work… Needless to say I’m still laughing my tuchis off.
    A lot of the ancient myths have a lot to do with the fertility of the gods, however, so this doesn’t really surprise. That’s the source of temple prostitution and whatnot in pagan rites. And you don’t want to know what the people of Ur thought of the Euphrates river… (It’s in “The Gift of the Jews,” FYI.)

  17. Mr. Bingley says:

    Here’s a not-so-ancient myth you may recognize, ‘Fly.

  18. (But that’s not a goat, Cullen. you sure you have the right doll?)
    And you don’t want to know what the people of Ur thought of the Euphrates river
    So, on a hot day, they’d strip on the banks and shout “Ur! IN !!”?

  19. Mr. Bingley says:

    I hear they doubted their valor, ‘Fly. They would stand on the banks and yell “You ‘fraidies!”

  20. Ken Summers says:

    Y’all are pretty damn brave when I’m off doing real work and can’t defend myself, arentcha?

  21. Nightfly says:

    Oh, great picture, Bing. There isn’t enough mistletoe in the world to make that image go away.
    THS, to put it delicately, the Euphrates was sometimes depicted as flowing from the Divine Sword, as it were… Surf’s up.

  22. Mr. Bingley says:

    the Euphrates was sometimes depicted as flowing from the Divine Sword, as it were…
    Sure must of kept that Whore of Babylon busy, eh?

  23. Mr. Bingley says:

    And re: the picture. Do you get the connection, ‘Fly? See if your trivia/pun synapses are working…
    Don’t know how much more I can hint.

  24. I’m smellin’ smoke…

  25. Sure must of kept that Whore of Babylon busy, eh?
    A veritable UrphraTease?

  26. Nightfly says:

    After clearing the smoke (and changing a couple of burnt-out vacuum tubes) I did get the pun, Mr. B. Time’s been kinder to Ms. Piggy than to Ms. Kane, alas.
    But now I’ve denied Ms. Sister the chance to use the “He’s lost… he should try Hare Krishna” joke.

  27. Ken Summers says:

    In Ms. Kane’s defense, she had further to fall than did Ms. Piggy.

  28. You scurvy knave, Diptera you!

  29. Mr. Bingley says:

    But now she’s wickedly popular, Ken.

  30. Ken Summers says:

    Carol Kane is wickedly popular? When did that happen?

  31. Ken Summers says:

    Never saw that coming.

  32. I woulda told you to duck, but I was MSNing with disgusting search terms, checking our ranking.

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