When What to My Wondering Eyes Should Appear?

A CITGO mini-mart employee who says “Stick it in your ear.”
Yup. That’s how I feel. Went to bed last night, gas is $1.95 gal. Go to the Post Office two hours ago, it’s jumped to $2.02. No worries. I’ll fill up the Commando Wagon post Postal visit. 15 minutes later, I pull up to said CITGO and it’s now $2.11. Incensed, I drive to the next one and the next one. They’re all the same. THE SAME. All in the space of 15 minutes. Does a special jingle go off, alerting them to call headquarters? A massive pas de deux of price hikes and mini-mart counter clerks ~ a corps de ballet holding the phone in one hand, number changer wand in the other ~ “THREE, TWO, ONE…GO!” And with a collective whoosh, gas has gone up sixteen cents in less than twenty-four hours. “BHUUWAhahahahahaha!” Snap goes the collapsible wand as they strut jauntily back to their lairs; those impenetrable counter bastions enclosed by bedizened berms of scratch-off lottery tickets, towers of ribbed fuchsia condoms and corn nuts, with Camels in the collectible tins for armor plating. So smug in their moment of superiority, they feel free to see immediately to the next Shell shocked victim at the register; tossing off a “you wanna receipt” without waiting for the answer…without so much as a “have a nice day” or “thanks“. Oh, you GOT damned right, I wanna receipt. I want it.
Or I will talk like a pirate. And pay at the pump.
UPDATE:

Oil prices fell Wednesday as fresh government data showed supplies of oil, gasoline and heating oil rose last week.
Light sweet crude for January delivery fell 64 cents to $59.30 a barrel in midday trade on the New York Mercantile Exchange.
Heating oil futures fell by 2.2 cents to $1.75 a gallon while gasoline fell less than a cent to $1.5765 a gallon.

I guess the CITGO drones didn’t get the message. Bastards.

21 Responses to “When What to My Wondering Eyes Should Appear?”

  1. Ken Summers says:

    HAHA! Our gas prices are still going down!
    [down to “only” $2.16 grumble grumble f***ing grumble]

  2. Cindermutha says:

    I suspected they have a magic price increase wand. I think you just proved it.
    Ours has been at $2.06 and holding. I haven’t seen it under $2 yet. When it gets there, I’m filling up whether I need it or not.

  3. Kcruella says:

    1.95 at the Wawa, and NJ has a law that says it can be changed only once in 24 hours. Even fined a few for multiple raises in a day

  4. I’m telling you, they went up so fast, I figured there had to be a Cat 5 in the Gulf headin’ our way.

  5. A Cat 5 called Christmas. Gotta milk those holiday shoppers.

  6. Dave J says:

    Well, yes. At least until I’m back in my real life as a lawyer, I do work in retail, and December is THE month to actually make some money in it. 🙂

  7. Mr. Bingley says:

    Capitalist pig-dog, that’s you Dave.

  8. Cullen says:

    Don’t say pig-dog too loud around Ken, Bing. You never know what he’s capable of …

  9. (I thought the magic word around Mr. Summers was “goat”…or at least “gorilla”…?)
    And CNBC/free market/raving capitalist junkie that I am, I know there’s NOTHING that coulda-shoulda moved gas up SIXTEENFRICKINCENTS in half a day.
    BASTARDS!

  10. Crusader says:

    And CNBC/free market/raving capitalist junkie that I am, I know there’s NOTHING that coulda-shoulda moved gas up SIXTEENFRICKINCENTS in half a day.

    That’s what you think. Still dropping here. Was $1.99 last I saw, and heard that some were down to $1.95. Of course they are raising our gas tax come 1/1/06, but oh well……

  11. Well, aren’t you special, you and everyone but ME!! The weekly energy data comes out at 1030EST, so I will be watching like a hawk for draw downs in the gasoline stockpiles that exceed what the projections are. Oil’s already up this morning, over $60 barrel, but I think that’s because the East Coast and their lovely weather is jonesing the rest of us. “Ooooh, Dave in Boston needs heating oil, Bingley needs natural gas…you ALL get to pay for them tootsies to stay warm, MHUUWAhahahahaha!!!”

  12. Crusader says:

    THS, try here perhaps? Or here? Dunno if they will help at all, but worth a whack.

  13. That’s an eyeful, ‘Sader. And woefully out of date. I’m not sure who’s doing the reporting, but 3 of those $2.02 CITGO’s are the very ones I drove around to/posted about. Nine cents and 20 minutes later…
    But thanks for trying. ::sigh::

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    Quit driving around all over town. Stay home and do some work, whydoncha?

  15. Crusader says:

    The reporting is all by folks on da street, just submitting the prices they see/pay. But the date/time bit is what you need to look at, as like you said, the prices do change.

  16. One can only sniff so much paint, know-it-all. And at these gas prices, I’m going to have to switch back to glue. It’s cheaper.

  17. Crusader says:

    No good deed goes unpunished….

  18. (I was talking to your older brother, sweet cheeks.)

  19. Nightfly says:

    Here in Crappy New Jersey™ Citgo is consistently overpriced, even at only one raise a day. In my town it’s not unusual to pass Gulf at (say) $1.97 and then pass Citgo two blocks later at $2.08.
    I’m not sure I like the one raise per day rule either… If you’re only allowed the one, you may just hike things the nine cents per gallon all at once, instead of three cents in the morning and another six in the evening. Those folks in the middle are getting dunned the difference – unintended consequences and such. And if not, that means that the end-level retailer is losing their shirt because they guessed too low. What good is it to screw the franchisee? The parent company already made their money when they sold the gas wholesale.

  20. Mr. Bingley says:

    Why the hell would you ever shop at Citgo, for daggumb’s sake? Serves you right, Sis.

  21. Simple logistics. Gas Stations of Any Description in a Five Mile radius from Casa de Major Dad:
    Tom Thumb CITGOs ~ about 8
    Shell ~ 1 ( 10¢ + more gal.)
    Brand X (this week it’s called ‘Cowboys’) ~ 1
    BP ~ 1 ( 10¢ + more gal.)
    Texaco ~ 1 ( 10¢ + more gal.)
    With the Commando Wagon’s 16 MPG, I must continue to support the Chavez presidency.

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