Headline Of The Day

Courtesy of the BBC

Beavers ‘good for biodiversity’

You’ll get no argument from me.

Whoever Took HotAir?

Would you please give it back?

Thank you.

Twenty Three Trillion

Just roll that puppy around your tongue for awhile. Remember how people laughed at Dr. Evil for thinking a million dollars was a lot?

Well now the Inspector General for TARP has tallied the potential cost for all these bailouts of Dubya and Barack

A series of bailouts, bank rescues and other economic lifelines could end up costing the federal government as much as $23 trillion, the U.S. government’s watchdog over the effort says – a staggering amount that is nearly double the nation’s entire economic output for a year.

If the feds end up spending that amount, it could be more than the federal government has spent on any single effort in American history.

For the government to be on the hook for the total amount, worst-case scenarios would have to come to pass in a variety of federal programs, which is unlikely, says Neil Barofsky, the special inspector general for the government’s financial bailout programs, in testimony prepared for delivery to the House oversight committee Tuesday.

This TARP is looking more and more like a funeral shroud for our economy.

A Quick Note From the Sweltering South

Record Report
Statement as of 05:45 PM CDT on July 20, 2009
… Record low temperature set at Mobile…

a record low temperature of 64 degrees was set at Mobile today.
This ties the old record of 64 set in 1923.

There wasn’t, by any chance, a portly ex-Vice President dipping his pudgy puddies in the Gulf sighted, was there?

MSNBC (?!?) Calls “Bullpoopie” on Obamacare?

Not a good home page headline from the “thrill up the leg” network, n’est pas?

Health overhaul to take nearly a decade

Uninsured won’t get coverage until 2013. And some of the proposals won’t be up and running until 2018. Full story

In the linked AP story, it gets downright clinical…in a purely mathematical sense.

…First comes the pain. In 2011, the government would start collecting higher taxes on upper-income people to pay for the overhaul. The uninsured would have to wait until 2013 before they started receiving the benefits — after the 2010 and 2012 elections.

Collecting the taxes up front — and paying for the benefits later — would help to keep costs manageable over the 10-year window Congress uses for budget estimates. Still, it’s not yet adding up. The Congressional Budget Office says the plan would increase the government’s deficit by about $240 billion over that period. Long-range forecasts could turn out worse.

Since I’m typing this as Mythbusters debunks lunar landing conspiracy theories, I feel compelled to offer my own version of a Rosie/Whoopie/Ronulan/Troofer conjecture:

Do you think the AP could be laying all this out CLEARLY to warn the White House about the flaws in their arguments or lines of incoming fire…?

Well, do ya…punk?

Michael Yon Made Me, major dad and Skyler

…cry like little girls today, we were SO proud.

…The U.S. Marines are flooding in, and you might think that every Marine helicopter in our arsenal is here. I’ll not give numbers and types other than to say the line of aircraft is long and formidable.

The U.S. Marines are a spectacle for the U.S. Army and also the British Army. The Marines will come in and live like pure animals, and build a base around themselves, whereas the British and American Armies will tend to build at least part of the base before coming in. One Marine commander told me that during the early part of this war, his men didn’t even shower for three months. We talked for a couple of hours and he was proud that his Marines didn’t need a shower for three months, and that his Marines killed a lot of Taliban and managed to lose only one good man. That’s the Marines. They’ll show up in force with no warning, and their reputation with U.S. Army and Brits who have fought alongside them is stellar. A NPR photographer who just spent more than three weeks with the Marines could not praise them enough, saying he’d been with them in Iraq, too, and that when Marines take casualties, their reaction is to continue to attack. They try to stay in contact until they finish the enemy, no matter how long it takes. Truly they are animals when it comes to the fight. Other than that, great guys. Tonight at dinner, a young Marine Lance Corporal sat in front of me at the crowded dining facility. “Good evening, Sir,” he said. I asked, “Are you living like animals out there?” “Livin’ the dream, Sir!” They are fantastic.

Oh, man…there I go again.

Damn.

From Crusader, a Marvelous Treatise

…on the wonders of a proper mater sammich and the importance of pure and unadulterated ingredients. Let there be no Cracker compromises or heresies polluting our verdant culinary tradition.

…Secondly it has to have mayonnaise on it. Real mayonnaise – not “lite” or aioli or any other nasty concoction that’s low on cholesterol. Mayonnaise. Real, honest to goodness, artery clogging Hellman’s. Or Duke’s.

There is a heretic band of Southerners who claim Miracle Whip [ths note: you may have seen this particular vileness referred to here at the Swilling as “curdled cat piss”] is a sanctioned substitute, but purists turn up their nose at such a desecration of a sacred Southern staple.

I Sure Hope These Guys Got Some Stimulus Moolah

Not only is this vital work preserving ethnic and cultural history through folklore traditions, in a very REAL sense it’s addressing the dilemma humanity faces as we grapple with CLIMATE CHANGE: what is unpleasant and natural versus what is unpleasant and unnatural, and therefore needs to be taxed/regulated/verbotened out of existence?

The computer models can’t tell the whole story…

…“Breaking Wind: Legendary Farts”

…The furrier said, “If you have to fart like that, then go out into the courtyard. There you can fart as much as you like.” Eulenspiegel answered, “A fart is more natural and healthier than the stench of your sheep pelts.”

The furrier said, “Healthy or not, if you want to fart, then go outside.” Eulenspiegel said, “Master, it would do no good, because farts don’t like the cold. They are used to being in a warm place. That’s why if you let a fart it always rushes for your nose. It goes from one warm place to another.”

Stifling scientific research is just wrong.

I Guess..Um…(How Awkward!)…It Appears

…Susan didn’t get the memo.

…The idea that somehow you’re going to tax the “rich” enough to pay for quality health care for every American who doesn’t have it, can’t afford it or stands to lose it, not to mention for all of the undocumented aliens who receive it for free now and presumably will continue to in Obama health land, is almost laughable. It’s one of those things candidates say in campaigns, ignoring the fact that it doesn’t add up. But in a bill that might pass? Add a 5 percent surtax on every small business in the country that makes $250,000 or more?

This is going to create jobs? What am I missing?

This Is Not The Deficit You’re Looking For

I have a feeling the above cartoon is going to be getting lots of airplay after the Most Openest And Honestest And Competentest Government Evuh delays releasing more information on their Shamblenomics Plan

WASHINGTON (AP) – The White House is being forced to acknowledge the wide gap between its once-upbeat predictions about the economy and today’s bleak landscape.

The administration’s annual midsummer budget update is sure to show higher deficits and unemployment and slower growth than projected in President Barack Obama’s budget in February and update in May, and that could complicate his efforts to get his signature health care and global-warming proposals through Congress.

The release of the update – usually scheduled for mid-July – has been put off until the middle of next month, giving rise to speculation the White House is delaying the bad news at least until Congress leaves town on its August 7 summer recess.

But see, it’s super-dee-duper important that Congress vote and pass His Plans before a) actually reading them and b) getting the results on the first couple of rounds of His Plans.

As Biden said, we’re going bankrupt unless we bankrupt ourselves first.

God, that sort of intellect must be a heavy burden.

Oh, and go to Furiousdiaper.com and check out his other great cartoons.

I’m Wondering If the Worm Hasn’t Turned Completely

I mean, if even the AP is pointing out “NOT so fasts” in their Obamacare reports, there could be a disturbance in the Force, n’est pas?

…Obama also repeated his pledge that his plan would not add to the federal deficit or deny patients’ choices.

“Under our proposals, if you like your doctor, you keep your doctor. If you like your current insurance, you keep that insurance. Period, end of story,” he said.

That’s a pledge, however, beyond Obama’s control.

His plan leaves companies free to change their health plans in ways that workers may not like or to drop insurance altogether.

The Advantages Of Having THS As A Sister…

Are never more apparent than when, on my way home on a Friday evening, I can text her from the bus to get a francese recipe

While I do enjoy getting sauced, making them, even simple ones like this, has never really been a strong point.

I was going to make veal francese, but the Commie Store wanted twenty-five-freakin’-buckskies-per-pound for baby cow, so I went chicken instead.

Tres yum.

Damn! Now That’s a Refreshing Change!

…Inside the prayers—held on a former soccer field covered with a roof—some worshippers rubbed their eyes as tear gas from outside drifted in. They traded competing chants with some hard-liners in the congregation. When the hard-liners chanted “death to America,”

Mousavi supporters countered with “death to Russia” and “death to China.”

Shame our Precedent’s too busy stumping for Corzine to offer an encouraging word to these brave folks. Odd for someone who’s all about “GREEN“.

I Certainly Hope This Trusting Young Fellow

…doesn’t seriously believe “dignity” has any place in Corzine’s life, less mind his campaign calculations.

…I realize we’re in an era where politicians will do anything to win, but Jon Corzine probably ought to ask himself whether he wants to come through this process with any molecules of dignity intact.

This Is, Er, Odd

But then I’m not a 3 am condom shopper

A motivational speaker from Long Island was found strangled and stabbed in his car in East Harlem Thursday, hours after he was seen buying condoms.

Jeffrey Locker, 52, had his hands tied behind his back and a cord wrapped around his neck and tied to the headrest. He had been stabbed in the chest and robbed, police sources said.

And if I were in that particular demographic, somehow I don’t think I’d drive from Valley Stream, Long Island to East Harlem to do it.

And of course he’s got a wife and three kids.

Blech.

Happy, Happy Birthday

…BAY-bee!

The Joke’s On Us

Never let it be said again that the Left lacks a sense of humor: they’re spending your tax money to get one

The purpose of this announcement is to seek qualified contractors with the capability to provide presentations for The Department of Treasury, Bureau of the Public Debt (BPD), Management Meeting with experience in meeting the objectives as described herein.

The Contractor shall conduct two, 3-hour, Humor in the Workplace programs that will discuss the power of humor in the workplace, the close relationship between humor and stress, and why humor is one of the most important ways that we communicate in business and office life. Participants shall experience demonstrations of cartoons being created on the spot. The contractor shall have the ability to create cartoons on the spot about BPD jobs. The presenter shall refrain from using any foul language during the presentation. This is a business environment and we need the presenter to address a business audience.

Well slap my ass and call me Shirley; I guess those last sentences rule me out. But let’s say I could control my Jersey gutter-snipe tongue; could this be my entry into the World of Government service?

Upon completion of the course, participants shall be able to:

• Understand the importance and power of humor in the workplace in a responsible manner

For example: “Puns” are very responsible, witty humor: A good way to lighten the mood at the next tense UN Security Council meeting would be to casually refer to the Russian Prime Minister as “The French Whore”, which is a light and jocular play on the fact that his name, “Putin”, is a homonym (Sorry! I mean a “lgbtnym”!) for “putain.”

• How to use talents in a creative way that adds humor to everyday experiences

For example: “Ooh Senator Boxer! Pull my finger…”

• Alleviate stress in home and the office

For example: Whoopee cushions should be placed on certain Supreme Court Justices’ seats.

• Know how and why humor is important to communication

For example: In his next speech on health care I’d advise the President to insert this joke as an analogy for the costs of ObamaCare:

A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian Rugs. Looking around, she spots the perfect rug, walks over and inspects it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.

Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her ‘little accident’ and hopes a sales person does not pop up right now.

As she turns back, there standing next to her is a salesman. “Good day Ma’am, how may we help you today?”

Very uncomfortably she asks, “How much does this rug cost?”

He answers, “Lady if you farted just touching it, you’re gonna crap your pants when you hear what the price is.”

I think that will win him the votes he needs.

• Improve work-place relationships

For example: Lines like “If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?” are proven winners in the workplace world.

• Prevent burn-out

For example: I would advise that all Government Employee manuals contain “Let’s Not Go Postal!” chapters to help those employees who are feeling “on the edge” from going over it.

I think I’ve got this job in the bank.

Of course, they could always just hire the Junior Senator from Minnesota…

Hurry! The Sky Is Falling!

We have to rush and pass the Obamacare Plan before anyone has a chance to read it.

Because if anyone does actually read it (I’m not talking Members of Congress here, obviously, as we all know those esteemed folks are way too busy to actually read any of the bills that they vote on) they’ll find that there’s no way we can afford what we’re doing now, let alone any more ideas from the Unicorn Codex

Under current law, the federal budget is on an unsustainable path, because federal debt will continue to grow much faster than the economy over the long run. Although great uncertainty surrounds long-term fiscal projections, rising costs for health care and the aging of the population will cause federal spending to increase rapidly under any plausible scenario for current law. Unless revenues increase just as rapidly, the rise in spending will produce growing budget deficits. Large budget deficits would reduce national saving, leading to more borrowing from abroad and less domestic investment, which in turn would depress economic growth in the United States. Over time, accumulating debt would cause substantial harm to the economy.

The numbers show a horrific scenario, and they only possible way out is a massive inflating of the money supply to devalue the currency and “pay off” the debts…which means we’ll become late 70s/early 80s Argentina.

Hey, look at the bright side: we’ll all be able to celebrate “Cinco de Quatro”.

Most competent evuh.

Geesh, I Put Some New Paint On The Place…

Leave for a few days and Sis brings out da Hoff.

Maybe I’m too trusting.

I Wonder How This Looks Against a Black Background…

Read more »

Oh, Yeah!

I’m sure that’s gonna help a sh*tload.

Obama Comes to Corzine’s Aid, as Polls Show Him Struggling in N.J. Governor’s Race

In the middle of making a hard push for health care reform before the August recess, President Obama is taking a time out to drum up support for New Jersey Gov. Jon Corzine in his race for re-election, where the Democratic incumbent has been consistently trailing his Republican opponent.

Does this a$$hole ever stay home?

I’ve Lost The Blog Roll Data

Which is a bit of a drag; I’ll need to rebuild that over the next few days, so please post your links in the comments (one link per comment, please) so I can get you folks back in!

Just Playing Around

For some reason the data transfer got all the post authors bass-ackwards.

How very singular.

That way Sis gets blamed for all the poop I write…

More Tests

If I told you why, I’d have to kill you.

Well, We’ve Got Gorezilla Back

So there’s hope.