Why Mothers Choke Their Teenage Sons: When She’s at Work and You’re IN the Storm Cellar

…don’t be sticking your cell phones through the door handle openings.

You’re supposed to be as far away from that little door as you can get, numbnuts.

I Told major dad He Could Back Off a Little On the Smoke

…next time.

How we went from backstroking in the rain to a brushfire just over in the fence in a month’s time is a chin-stroker.

My Place As Revered Head Of The Household Is Assured

I say this with utmost confidence because today Daughter turned to me and sweetly said, and I quote,

“when are you going to get your bitch-ass back in the kitchen and make me some pah?”

so of course I did

A Cold Friday Night Meal…

…in freakin’ May.

Thanks Al. Tons.

Like many folks on the East Coast my plans of summeresque grilling evaporated, strike that, were washed out by this cold drizzly rain were under. May 24th and it’s in the low 40s. Global Warming my left shoe.

Anyhoo, so I needed to dig into the Warm Me Up Scottie bin:

Firstly, of course, was red wine

I picked this up the other night whilst the Bingleys were enjoyng some burgers with kcruella. It’s about $13 and is a very smooth velvety wine with soft tannins. A few glasses put me in the mood to brown about 1lb of italian sausage and 2 Pamelas (cut into bite-sized strips) in large straight-sided pan

I must herewith confess that I used turkey sausage; with the addition of a couple of teaspoons of fennel seed it worked perfectly fine, plus there’s no grease to drain off.

Once it’s reasonably browned add 3/4 cup each of wild rice and brown rice and a healthy amount of red pepper flakes

and 2 cups chicken stock, 1 1/2 cups white wine and 1/2 cup of water

and 3 cloves of chopped garlic

bring it to a boil then reduce to simmer, cover and cook for 45 minutes or so until the rice is mostly done (remember this is brown rice which takes a lot longer than white rice) during which time you will be studiously ignored by someone who in fact DID get a lot of chicken

a fact which he conveniently forgets

Once the rice is mostly done toss in a pound or so of fresh chopped asparagus

and cover and cook for 10 minutes or so until the asparagus is done but still crisp and eat

with more wine as appropriate, of course.

It’s Memorial Day Weekend

Here in NJ it’s 46º degrees with a frigid driving rain. I just dove into a thick sweatshirt and rag wool socks.

CURSE YOU ALGORE!!!!!!!!!!

With Friends Like These…

Sergio’s rehabilitation is complete

Foot-in-mouth disease appears to be contagious on the European Tour.

A day after Sergio Garcia caused a major row by making a racially insensitive joke about Tiger Woods, European Tour chief executive George O’Grady used the dated and racially insensitive term “colored” while saying that the European Tour accepts Garcia’s apology for saying that he’d serve Woods “fried chicken” for dinner at the U.S. Open.

“We know the connotation in the United States. We accept all races on the European Tour, we take it very strongly. Most of Sergio’s friends are colored athletes in the United States and he is absolutely abject in his apology and we accepted it.”

Ah, I lurves me mah Sophisticated Euro Betters!

Your Daily AK Update

Interesting article here on the plans to replace the AK-74.

The real question is can Vanessa Redgrave dance with it?

Cameron Cuckoo Land

Englishman covered in his victim’s blood and holding a meat cleaver: “We did this because we are Muslims and he was a soldier who killed Muslims.”

British PM: “This unfortunate incident had nothing to do with Islam.”

TGI: Thank God It’s

…the CHEAP SHIT! Maybe we’ll make some moola!

NJ: BARS PUT CHEAP BOOZE IN PREMIUM LIQUOR BOTTLES

TRENTON, N.J. (AP) — Twenty-nine bars and restaurants, nearly half of them TGI Fridays, filled premium brand liquor bottles with lower-quality booze and sold it to patrons who thought they were buying the good stuff, authorities said Wednesday.

A yearlong investigation by the state Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control, dubbed Operation Swill, found that the establishments had swapped out the good liquor in an effort to fool customers and increase profits.

Thirteen of the restaurants cited are TGI Fridays located in central and northern New Jersey.

TGI Fridays Inc. said in a statement it was working with the franchisee and owner of the TGI Fridays restaurants to investigate the allegations, which it called serious. The statement said the company had just learned of the allegations.

I’d demand a refund!!

But then I wouldn’t be in those dumps anyway. The TGI chain went to shit YEARS ago. Went from our GO-TO, outstanding funky food place in the mid-80’s to a sold-their-souls-to-the-Jack-Daniels-Grill, corporate devils’ unrecognizable/inedible menu. The staff training slipped horribly as well.

Sorry, sorry, sorry excuses of miserable shells of their previous existences.

Things Are Going to Expode

God DAMN the animals who did this. And God bless that poor soldier minding his own business.

And God help England survive what they’ve become.

London attackers shout ‘Allahu Akbar,’ machete man to death

A machete-wielding attacker and his gun-toting sidekick killed a man in the streets of London on Wednesday, and police are regarding the pair – whom they subsequently shot – as potential terrorists.

The prime minister called the incident “truly shocking,” and said police are investigating it as a terrorist attack, BBC reported. Witnesses say they saw a man walking down Woolwich Street, when he was attacked by two individuals. They also said they heard at least one of the attackers scream ‘Allahu Akbar,” meaning God is great, during the course of the attack, BBC reported.

A local police officer said the man who was killed was a soldier at Woolwich barracks, various media reported.

Police fired at the two suspects, who were subsequently taken to the hospital – one by helicopter, one by ambulance. One remains in critical condition, BBC reported.

The Associated Press reported that the attackers were out of control.

Things are going to rapidly spiral into just what the assholes here (read: OUR PRESIDENT and his leftist cronies/CAIR) claim has/will happen every time Islamic terrorist BASTARDS murder Americans ~ be it THREE THOUSAND or three ~ and NEVER does:

Masked English Defence League supporters flood Woolwich: Far-Right clash with police near scene of killing

*Officers formed cordon and men left immediate area after brief incident

*Some of EDL supporters gathered at pub and sang nationalistic songs

*Riot police with shields stood guard before moving back into their vans

*Elsewhere, two men were arrested after separate attacks on mosques

More than 100 supporters of the English Defence League tonight gathered near the scene of where a soldier was hacked to death by Islamic fanatics and threw bottles at police.

Officers formed a cordon and the men left the immediate area after the brief incident. Some of the EDL supporters gathered at The Queen’s Arms pub locally, where they sang nationalistic songs.

One local Muslim said that a brick had been thrown through a mosque during the march.

…The EDL men had first gathered at Woolwich Arsenal station in Woolwich, south-east London. Riot police with shields stood guard outside for a short time, before moving back into their vans.

The EDL group waved a flag of St George and chanted ‘no surrender to the Muslim scum’. Around 20 of the men wore black balaclavas with an EDL logo on the front.

Leader Tommy Robinson addressed the crowd, saying:

‘We have got weak leadership. They have allowed this to happen. People are scared to say the word Muslim. They are scared to offend them.

‘You know what? We are offended. People in this country are angry. They have had enough.’

.

I feel we are in stand-by mode for a conflagration of epic proportions.

What The Hell Is The House Thinking?

What Republican voted for this amendment?

The House Appropriations Committee on Wednesday approved a 2014 Homeland Security funding bill with a bipartisan voice vote. The bill is expected on the House floor in June.

In a surprise development, the committee approved an amendment from Rep. Tim Ryan (D-Ohio), which would effectively end immigration from Brazil.

The provision was included in order to pressure Brazil to extradite Brazilian-born Claudia Hoerig to the United States for trial in the murder of her husband, Air Force Major Karl Hoerig. The Ryan amendment does not affect travel visas or visas for temporary workers, an aide said.

It was passed despite urgings from Homeland subcommittee Chairman John Carter (R-Texas) and ranking member David Price (D-N.C.) that it would have far-reaching implications. The text of the amendment withholds all funding from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services to process any immigration visa request for a Brazilian national.

You bet your ass it’s going to have far-reaching implications.

Yes, brilliant. Punish hard working people who want to come here LEGALLY and give your *wink wink* amnesty to all the ones who came here ill-friggin-egally.

The ONE country in LatAm that is getting its act together and we continually go out of our way to snub them.

We need all the Brazilians here we can get.

Oh Those Presbyterians

Always causing trouble.

And You Think You’re Having A Bad Day

Via Tim, watch the guy on the scooter. Do watch to the very end.

“And I Thought God Just Answered One of My Prayers”

“He answered two of them.”

WNEM TV 5

Like Emerging Into a Nuclear Winter

My God

I just can’t imagine the horror of it all

It looks like 50+ are dead.

And even though the number of tornadoes this year is well below average I’m glad we can count on one of our Esteemed Senators to not “politicize” this tragedy.

Pray and please give what you can to the Salvation Army and other such organizations to help these folks.

ths adds: The Salvation Army link for Oklahoma donations

Megyn Kelly Looks Fit to be Tied

…when news breaks that THREE Fox News associates have been treated like CRIMINALS by our UNFETTERED DOJ.

And I Bet He STILL “Uh Uh Uhs” His Sorry Way Through It

The difference between Obama and Nixon is that Obama will require “I am not a crook” on prompter.

— Dennis Miller Show (@DennisDMZ) May 16, 2013

Don’t Look Now, But That LONG TIME AGO “Fast and Furious”?

It be BLOWING UP fast.

Justice Inspector General faults former Fast and Furious IG Dennis Burke for “egregious” violation…trying to undermine whistleblower

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

John Dodson by improperly releasing confidential information intended to damage him..

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

IG found Special Agent John Dodson, who provided significant info regarding Fast and Furious, was retaliated against…

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

…through the unauthorized disclosure in late June 2011 of an ATF memorandum that he had drafted.

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

IG determined that Dennis Burke, who was then US Attorney for Arizona, provided the memo to a news outlet… violating Department policies.

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

Most importantly…

IG concluded that Burke’s disclosure was likely motivated by a desire to undermine Dodson’s public criticisms of Operation Fast and Furious.

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

Helpfully fron Sharyl…

A refresher as to why some were out to get John Dodson. Here’s our first CBS NewsFast and Furious report with him: cbsnews.com/stories/2011/0…

— Sharyl Attkisson (@SharylAttkisson) May 20, 2013

I have SUCH a GIRL crush on Attkisson. She deserves a Pulitzer.

I also hope she has at least FIFTEEN years of receipts saved…

It Strikes At The Core Of Our System

The importance of this IRS disaster cannot be over-stated. The chilling nature of the IRS’s actions on our constitutional freedoms cannot be exaggerated. This isn’t at this point an Obama Scandal; it is a Big Government scandal. It needs to be vigorously rooted out, many people need to be fired and hopefully go to jail. The MSM needs to get out of Protect The Messiah At All Costs mode and realize that an unfettered government like this will affect them as well.

I Know That Correlation Is Not Causation…

…but on our Daily Constitutional today Claude was…moved…to make a comment in his own special way when we saw the following bumper sticker lying on the ground

I Was Sniffling Over This Story When major dad Found it On Fox This Morning

The video is a killer.

Thanks to Dave in Texas for that. Read the background on this ever so SCHWEET surprise here.

Marine reunited with dog he handled in Afghanistan in surprise ceremony

DES MOINES, Iowa – When Marine Sgt. Ross Gundlach served as a dog handler in Afghanistan, he told the yellow lab who was his constant companion that he’d look her up when he returned home.

“I promised her if we made it out of alive, I’d do whatever it took to find her,” Gundlach said.

On Friday, he made good on that vow with help from some sentimental state officials in Iowa who know how to pull off a surprise.

God bless Iowa and the Elks.

Let Freedom Ring

Keep this going

They Knew

Pathetic, corrupt and criminal.

But for tonight at least I don’t care because Daughter will soon be home.

Classic

IRS Official in Charge During Tea Party Targeting Now Runs Health Care Office

The Internal Revenue Service official in charge of the tax-exempt organizations at the time when the unit targeted tea party groups now runs the IRS office responsible for the health care legislation.

Sarah Hall Ingram served as commissioner of the office responsible for tax-exempt organizations between 2009 and 2012. But Ingram has since left that part of the IRS and is now the director of the IRS’ Affordable Care Act office, the IRS confirmed to ABC News today.

There IS NO one responsible for ANYTHING in the Obama administration.