And Thank YOU, Elle Effin’ Magazine

Your cover girl on the issue arriving today has caused ME to be subjected to major dad’s non-stop expostulating incredulity at said decision, e.g., “Sarah Jessica Parker is BUTT ugly!”, “Why do people think Sarah Jessica Parker is pretty?!?!? She’s BUTT ugly!!!” and ~ my personal favorite ~ “HOW does Witch Boil rate a fashion cover?!?! She’s not pretty at all….[wait for it]…she’s BUTT ugly!!!”


25 Responses to “And Thank YOU, Elle Effin’ Magazine”

  1. Greg Newsom says:

    She’s not ugly,but a five drink minimun before one could take her to bed.
    She’s part of that NY,Ny
    world-where they’re the greatest.Like Lenny Bruce,
    Jack Black,Adam Sadler no
    talent,but god children of the press.

  2. JeffS says:

    Well, she’s not a 10, but I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crackers.

  3. ArmedGeek says:

    I’m afraid I’d have to kick her ugly ass out of bed if all she was doing was eating crackers. That said, she is ugly enough that I would not hit on her.

  4. Ebola says:

    She’s the girl you have to get around to get the good lookin girl. She’s unattractive, period. And she cocks her head to the side like a dog so often my nickname for her is Fido.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    She really is butt-ugly.

    She looks like the Bride of Frankenstein.

  6. Kate P says:

    She is kind of a horseface. I loved her in Square Pegs, though.

    If Major Dad reacted badly to that one, don’t let him see who Glamour’s Woman of the Year is. I tore the cover off when it arrived in my mailbox.

  7. kcruella says:

    Saw her one time while wandering the street of NY, tiny thing. She could use a cheeseburger. Never understood the appeal of her or Sex and the City

  8. Skyler says:

    She was really hot in LA Story with Steve Martin. After she stopped looking like she was 19 years old her face got a bit hard on the eyes, but she’s never been ugly.

    I’ve never understood Sex and the City either except as a way for bitter women to join in a man-hate session for an hour.

  9. Mockingbird says:

    Sarah Jessicka Parker should be caring for dogs. Or head of valet parking at the Myrtle Beach Hilton.
    She couldn’t tempt The Three Stooges.

  10. Yojimbo says:

    She looks like the Bride of Frankenstein!:(

    /This post sponsored by the Elsa Lanchester Marching and Chowder Society.

    //Of course she was married to Charles Laughton who was butt ugly.:)

  11. Ugly? Uh, no.

    Not the prettiest in that “young starlet” sort of way, but not ugly at all.

  12. major dad says:

    Let’s see “a little hard on the eyes” yeah, like ice picks. “Not the prettiest in that young starlet sort of way” ya think? She’s on the backside of forty and I’d rather kiss Secretariat. Look at her picture on page 319 of the Elle (warning: may cause burning of the eyes) and tell me she is not BUTT ugly. Even after removing the Witch Boil and a boob job she still looks like somebody should be placing a bet on her at the track. Amazingly, a LOT of people seem to think so.

  13. JeffS says:

    If she’s a horse, major dad, then a lot of people want to ride her.


  14. CLive says:

    I blame Hocus Pocus for setting the bar artificially high. She was reasonably hot in that … but maybe it was relative.

  15. Ebola says:

    Jeff, alot of people want to ride rotting corpses too. We just disagree and wonder idly what you’ll catch as a result. 😛

  16. jarine says:

    LA STORY was horrible… what with her acting all happy after a colonic… ewww

  17. Ave says:

    Say what you will butt SJP has really great shoes.

  18. Cullen says:

    I agree with those who said she WAS attractive. Been a long time since those days though.

  19. Dave E. says:

    Good grief, I think a few of you guys doth protest too much. A little closet SJP attraction there? To each their own and if she’s not your cup of tea then fine. Butt ugly though? No.

  20. Mr. Bingley says:

    She looks like someone that Scooby-Doo would try and pull the mask off of.

  21. major dad says:

    She belongs in a closet. Just get her off the “beauty and fashion mags” and it would be okay.

  22. colin says:

    Wow what a response. For the record I wouldn’t crawl over her to get to you but damn she’s much less than very attractive.

  23. colin says:

    PS I have no idea about the accuracy of the above I just love that expression. Peace.

  24. Val Prieto says:

    She gets tired real easy.

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