Did He Speak “Rainbow-European?”

Dude’s buried like a lady

Archaeologists have unearthed the 5,000-year-old remains of what they believe may have been the world’s oldest known gay caveman.

The male body – said to date back to between 2900-2500BC – was discovered buried in a way normally reserved only for women of the Corded Ware culture in the Copper Age.

The skeleton was found in a Prague suburb in the Czech Republic with its head pointing eastwards and surrounded by domestic jugs, rituals only previously seen in female graves.

“From history and ethnology, we know that people from this period took funeral rites very seriously so it is highly unlikely that this positioning was a mistake,” said lead archaeologist Kamila Remisova Vesinova.

“Far more likely is that he was a man with a different sexual orientation, homosexual or transsexual,” she added.

Grog ask.

Grog tell.

13 Responses to “Did He Speak “Rainbow-European?””

  1. Skyler says:

    Or it was an insult. Why is that possibility left out?

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Because, Skyler, academics can not imagine that such things went on before George Bush and capitalism screwed up the world.

  3. JeffS says:

    So, according to the academics, his orientation indicates his orientation? Heh!

    But Skyler has the right of it; the archaeologists really can’t say why this dude was buried differently. It was a utterly different culture, one that we have absolutely NO records on.

    It could have been an insult, or the dude might have been a master chef. Or the funeral rites have a totally different meaning, one that the boffins aren’t able to discern.

    So, my reaction: meh. More cultural projection, fallout from the “noble savage” nonsense.

  4. Gunslinger says:

    “So, my reaction: meh. More cultural projection, fallout from the “noble savage” nonsense.”

    It’s disgusting how “political correctness” invades and contaminates so many areas of history and science. It ruins everything it touches and we’re all worse off for it.

  5. nightfly says:

    For that matter… how do they know this dude was a dude?


    “Hey, Og… you do know it’s morning, not night – don’t you?”

    “Uhhh… don’t ask, don’t tell Kug!”

  6. JeffS says:

    Yeah, ‘fly, political correctness simply ruins science.

  7. JeffS says:

    Whoops, sorry, I meant you, Guns, not ‘fly.

  8. Kathy Kinsley says:

    Could be an insult, could be a compliment, could be he was a low-level shaman. (From chatter on Althouse, seems that shaman were buried in the same orientation, but with nicer “stuff”).

    Who knows? So, I’m with JeffS (yet again).

    “So, my reaction: meh. More cultural projection, fallout from the “noble savage” nonsense.

  9. JeffS says:

    I have an alternate hypothesis, Kathy — the dude was transvestite.

  10. tree hugging sister says:

    “Corded Ware culture”? So, Bingster, as the resident preppie, you should be entirely qualified to explain the whole thing.

  11. ricki says:

    “transsexual”? They had operations for that in the Stone Age?

    I dunno; I think the “master chef” explanation makes as much sense as the “he was gay” explanation. After all, it could be that different cultures from our own might not have viewed gay men as somehow comparable to women.

    I don’t know much about anthropology but what I have read, the authors seem to caution HEAVILY against making the kind of assumptions being made by those researchers, because there’s such a good chance of being wrong: “Motel of the Mysteries,” anyone?

  12. Gary from Jersey says:

    I’m sending this story to a gay guy I know to see what he thinks. I’ll know when he puts a Corded Ware float in Asbury Park’s Gay Pride parade, as vile as that is.

  13. kc says:

    Ricki, glad I wasn’t the only one to see that.

    Assumptions made based only on my personal agenda are often SO wrong…

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