Gives New Meaning To The Term “Woody”

I wonder if he said “I love yew”

A MAN has been banned for life from a public city park after he allegedly dropped his pants and tried to have sex with a tree.

William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie, Scotland after claims he attempted to have intercourse with the plant.

I blame Bush.

16 Responses to “Gives New Meaning To The Term “Woody””

  1. mojo says:

    But of course. The leafy hussy!

  2. JeffS says:

    Shaw is likely pining away for his true love.

  3. JeffS says:

    Maybe he should cedar counselor, to avoid mental trauma from this tragedy.

  4. JeffS says:

    And hopefully no one will get all peachy about this inter-species relationship.

  5. JeffS says:

    Because I don’t think Shaw can pear all that emotional angst.

  6. JeffS says:

    But a legitimate question for Mr. Shaw is: “Willow heed the court order?”

  7. tree hugging sister says:

    What a dumb ash.

  8. Gunslinger says:

    A good therapist will get to the root of Shaw’s obsessions.

  9. Rob says:

    Not a cherry tree any more…

  10. Robin from Central AZ says:

    Jennifer Juniper, the other party in this incident, declined to comment.

  11. Jim - PRS says:

    I’m going out on a limb to say that I am certain that the incident was knot the tree’s fault and further that the tree arbors no animosity towards Mr. Shaw.

  12. Yojimbo says:

    Is this story fir real? Maybe he stopped by the park after stumping for his favorite candidate.

  13. Mr. Bingley says:

    The judge also said they needed to spruce the park up a bit after the mess Mr. Shaw made.

    Although I hear a movie about his rehabilitation is in the works; the working title is “The ShawPlank Redemption.”

  14. tree hugging sister says:

    I’d say leaf the poor romantic sap alone, bud he’s most likely a hardened tree forker.

  15. major dad says:

    Makes you wonder who he pines for and how spruced up he gets for his park visits.

  16. major dad says:

    He’s not aspen too much, is he?

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