Gives New Meaning To The Term “Woody”
I wonder if he said “I love yew”
A MAN has been banned for life from a public city park after he allegedly dropped his pants and tried to have sex with a tree.
William Shaw, 21, has been ordered by a court not to enter Central Park in Airdrie, Scotland after claims he attempted to have intercourse with the plant.
I blame Bush.
But of course. The leafy hussy!
Shaw is likely pining away for his true love.
Maybe he should cedar counselor, to avoid mental trauma from this tragedy.
And hopefully no one will get all peachy about this inter-species relationship.
Because I don’t think Shaw can pear all that emotional angst.
But a legitimate question for Mr. Shaw is: “Willow heed the court order?”
What a dumb ash.
A good therapist will get to the root of Shaw’s obsessions.
Not a cherry tree any more…
Jennifer Juniper, the other party in this incident, declined to comment.
I’m going out on a limb to say that I am certain that the incident was knot the tree’s fault and further that the tree arbors no animosity towards Mr. Shaw.
Is this story fir real? Maybe he stopped by the park after stumping for his favorite candidate.
The judge also said they needed to spruce the park up a bit after the mess Mr. Shaw made.
Although I hear a movie about his rehabilitation is in the works; the working title is “The ShawPlank Redemption.”
I’d say leaf the poor romantic sap alone, bud he’s most likely a hardened tree forker.
Makes you wonder who he pines for and how spruced up he gets for his park visits.
He’s not aspen too much, is he?