Had I Been Forced to Endure Obama Speaking as I Ate Lunch, I Would Have Been Tempted to CUT MY THROAT

They ought to kiss a Secret Service agent instead of bitch.

Forkless Friday at Obama event

LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. –Does a fork or dinner knife pose an unacceptable danger to President Barack Obama?

One wouldn’t think so, given the hundreds of lunches and dinners he’s attended ranging from state dinners to political fundraisers to run-of-the-mill stops on the rubber-chicken circuit.

However, at one such lunch Friday afternoon, guests heard an unusual announcement that they needed to hand over their silverware for security reasons.

“It’s very important that you use your utensils as soon as possible,” National Association of Latino Elected and Appointed Officials board member Raquel Regalado told about 1000 delegates at the group’s annual conference.

Regalado hurried the diners to finish up their salads and pre-cut chicken breasts, saying that the Secret Service required that there be no knives at the tables and that the forks be rounded up before Obama entered the room.

“As you know, we’re having another speaker and there is some Secret Service involved. So there’s a reason why there’s no knives at your table and the forks will be collected. … And I’m not joking,” Regalado told the audience in a ballroom at Disney’s Contemporary Resort at Walt Disney World. “So, like the good Hispanic mother I’m here to tell you to please, eat your lunch.”

Sheesh. They saved you from plunging forks into your eyeballs ~ or temples, for God’s sake ~ as well! What’s not to love?

And…why is the POTUS trying to take dining utensils away from Hispanic voters anyway? I thought he needed those guys.

8 Responses to “Had I Been Forced to Endure Obama Speaking as I Ate Lunch, I Would Have Been Tempted to CUT MY THROAT”

  1. JeffS says:

    Did they take the spoons and cups? People might have started banging them on the table, like in prisons and summer camp mess halls.

  2. leelu says:

    On the face of it, I guess He just doesn’t trust ’em.

  3. Syd B. says:

    He can go fork himself and the horse he rode in on.

  4. Dave E. says:

    Maybe he realizes he’s gone from The One to done.

  5. Dr Alice says:

    That is just unbelievable. Why didn’t they take everybody’s car keys while they were at it? I understand they can be used as weapons in a pinch. Can’t be too careful.

  6. BlackDog says:

    Hmm Secret Service agents armed with guns vs donors armed with forks. Somebody is paranoid and needs to spend quality time in a padded room.

  7. Paco says:

    I heard there were several ugly incidents of people trying to disembowel themselves with coffee stirrers.

  8. mojo says:


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