I Don’t Know If A Topless Bar Or A Headless Model Were Involved

…but this story does have a one-legged guy running away from the police

ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. — Deputies chased a man in a car Tuesday just feet from where children were standing waiting for their school bus, eyewitnesses told WFTV. The driver ended up crashing into a light pole, knocking out power to several homes in Zellwood for a period of time.

Tuesday afternoon, deputies said the driver is George Bush and he is either 47 or 48 years old. Deputies also said Bush only has one leg. Investigators said the car he was driving had been loaned to him by an associate in Lake County.

…The sheriff’s office and one witness said looks were deceiving. The traffic stop was initiated in the area with children around, but the driver suddenly bolted in an enclosed neighborhood where it appeared a chase ensued. In fact, one witness said deputies drove the other way and we’re not able to see the actual crash or the driver run into the woods.

Deputies searched for the driver on horseback after the crash was reported and were not sure why he bolted, but said it was not a chase, just a dangerous man in a busy neighborhood.

Ah, it was only a dangerous man, not a chase.

So that’s how the one legged guy outran the cops on horseback.

And yes, his name is George Bush.

I love America.

(via Ace)

10 Responses to “I Don’t Know If A Topless Bar Or A Headless Model Were Involved”

  1. Did he have a salami in one hand and a potted fern in the other??

    And why would they not classify it as a chase? Isn’t a dangerous man a serious enough cause for a chase??

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’ll bet you they were hopping mad he got a leg-up on them and got away, though.

  3. JeffS says:

    This is an example of a one-legged man winning a butt kicking contest.

  4. Yojimbo says:

    Maybe the police were just trying to tipoe around the chase issue.

  5. Laura says:

    I was chased once by a one legged man when I was a kid and let me just tell you, those fuckers can run like Zulu warriors! I am serious. I was all “Oh c’mon Maggie, let’s take this man’s garbage can lids to use as a sleds, that man can’t chase us.” Well, he came flying out of his house and ran us down like a leopard running down an antelope.

    I don’t know why I am using all these African references. I think it’s because I watched a lot of Wild Kingdom when I was a kid. He wasn’t black, but his name may have been George Bush. We just called him “Scary Asshole Man.”

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    It’s the Pogo Stick Effect, Laura, that helps them go so fast.

    There’s lots of scientific littrature in all the very best journals supporting it.

  7. Yojimbo says:

    Had to be the Pogo Stick Effect since there is no mention of him skipping out on them. No mention of him packing a hogleg either. Well, good for him.

  8. Yojimbo says:

    I think you’re right on the very best journals thing. I think Lancet published a study on this last year.

  9. Gunslinger says:

    Sound more like Johnny Knoxville was filming “The Fugitive 2”.

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