Is Angelina Jolie Canadian?

Via Ace, I mean, I know the winters are mighty long up in The Great White North, and Canadians are upset about polar bear testicles and stuff, but it seems to me that this is carrying their carvingcraving for some Nanook nookie a little too far

A Winnipeg woman who accidentally plunged a knife into her boyfriend’s chest during a drunken bout of rough sex received a three-year conditional discharge yesterday.
… Allan said the man and woman had been drinking heavily and were engaged in “rough sex activities” when the man requested she “carve artwork” into his chest.
“He said they engaged in dangerous play, and due to her intoxication, was not precise with the knife and punctured his heart,” Allan said.
The man told police the stabbing was an accident and that the two routinely cut and scratched each other with knives. The man showed police several wounds, including a heart-shaped scar on his back featuring the woman’s initials.

I wonder if she made him a “get well carve”?
Her teachers always said she was a knife girl from a good family.

23 Responses to “Is Angelina Jolie Canadian?”

  1. Obviously her chest-carving skill could use a little honing, but I wonder what whetted their appetite for rough sex in the first place?

  2. So in the middle of the rough play, did they stop for the haft-time show?

  3. It’d be funny if his name was Dirk. Or if the incident turned him off women and he bacame a gay blade.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’m confused about this drunk-stuff, though.
    Someone must have spiked his tang.

  5. nightfly says:

    Strong enough to bone a breast, but delicate enough to skin a tomato!
    Wait, what were we talking about?

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    Ah dinna know, laddie! It’s ginsu I nae can unner stand ye!

  7. Skyler says:

    I’m missing the Jolie connection . . .

  8. As they put him in the ambulance, he told her “I won’t hold it a-ginsu.”

  9. Dude, you type faster than I do!
    And no, I don’t get the Jolie part either.

  10. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’ve gathered (from reading front pages of Weekly World News-type mags whilst waiting in check out lines) that she and her ex used to be quite a bunch of cut-ups, and that she used to carry a vial of his blood around with her.
    But maybe my title was too edgy for you.

  11. Mr. Bingley says:

    I heard they both were Bowie fans.

  12. It was, but now that you explain it, it sounds pretty keen.

  13. Kind of sounds like she and her ex were real hell-razors.

  14. Mr. Bingley says:

    and they met at the K-Bar.
    They used to go to the Buck, but it has since folded.

  15. Mr. Bingley says:

    When he first saw her he said “Ah, there is the girl I Wusthof!”

  16. Ah! A Tom Lehrer reference! Very sharp!

  17. Mr. Bingley says:

    I knew hewed get that, Ken.

  18. Yep. Age may be whittling my memory down a bit but I can’t forget that one.

  19. The_Real_JeffS says:

    Boy, talk about sex on the edge……

  20. Kate P says:

    You guys are a bunch of regular cut-ups. Maybe my mom was right when she said it was better to cut a rug with your boyfriend. . .

  21. Dave E. says:

    They’re still together? Obviously she hasn’t gotten her fillet of him yet.

  22. nightfly says:

    Is that a pocketknife, or are you happy to see me?

  23. Gunslinger says:

    Usually a girl sporting a pair of stilettos is a good thing.

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