It’s Kinda Like Soylent Green Veal, I Guess

Makes me wonder how great a job he did at the restaurant he worked at

(CNN) — A Kentucky man high on marijuana and drunk on whiskey put his 5-week-old son in the oven Sunday and left him there overnight, police said.

The oven door was slightly ajar, and the oven was not turned on.

After smoking marijuana at the restaurant where he works as a cook, Larry Long, 33, (whose name should be adopted by the fellow in the post below) returned home to share a fifth of whiskey with the baby’s mother, Brandy Hatton, McCracken County Sheriff Jon Hayden said in a statement.

Hatton had four or five shots and went to bed while Long finished the bottle, Hayden said.

At 5:30 the next morning, Hatton awoke to the sound of the baby’s cries coming from the oven. He had been in it for several hours, police said.

I’m thinking the oven is probably the safest place in that house for the kid.

5 Responses to “It’s Kinda Like Soylent Green Veal, I Guess”

  1. Cullen says:

    Well, it is Kentucky.

  2. tree hugging sister says:

    Amateur. We used to wedge Crusader’s tiny butt in a stock pot and put it on the stove routinely. Even turn on another burner so he could see a red light and freak. It’s all in the technique.

  3. Ebola says:

    Tastes of chicken… ;P

  4. Skyler says:

    I’ve heard that in the old days this was a common way to keep a baby warm in the old houses with poor heating. Seems crazy now, but I’ve heard a lot of old people tell that to me.

  5. Gary from Jersey says:

    Probably no room in the microwave because the dog was in it.

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