Let’s Take a Break From Politics For a Life Lesson: Presenting Your Daily Moment of Moral Clarity and Useful, Practical Advice

Apparently appearences can be deceiving even to medically trained personnel, so: NEVER FALL ASLEEP AT A FRAT HOUSE.

University of Tennessee student denies ‘butt chugging’ reports, claiming he’s a Christian who would never ‘desecrate his body’

Alexander Broughton said an alcohol enema would violate ‘God’s law,’ and that’s the bottom line

There’s no butts about it.

A University of Tennessee student who allegedly binged on alcohol by “butt chugging” denied that he was hospitalized for the dangerous activity, claiming he’d never do such a thing because it would violate “God’s law.”

In a rambling written statement, 20-year-old Alexander (Xander) Broughton said, “I am a Christian who would never desecrate my body in that manner.”

“That manner” would be consuming alcohol through a rubber tube inserted into his rectum.

…Broughton and his lawyer held a news conference Tuesday in which the college sophomore admitted to heavy drinking at his frat house — but pooh-poohed police reports that he’d been “butt-chugging.”

…Medical personnel said his injuries looked as if he had been sexually assaulted, and further questioning by investigators led to the discovery of blood at the frat house and mention of alcohol enemas, NBC affiliate WBIR reported.

The frat members blamed the blood on a fight between two members,

and Broughton said his injuries may have occurred accidentally while he was passed out.

As major dad points out, there’s no need to get all anal about this, but it really does leave one wondering how accidents of that nature occur when one IS passed out.

Oh, well. It’s all behind him now and cheeky of the little bugger to complain.

ths update: Oh, Lord. Hilarity reigns at Instapundit and thanks to too many bloggers in the pot. Ed Driscoll’s posted tagline “Deadly serious ‘butt chugging’ press conference is the most accidentally hilarious thing you’ll see today” beCOMES the most “accidentally hilarious thing” I saw today, when I read what what was posted directly under his “BUTT CHUGGING” headline.

The screencap:

If only the lad HAD known how. All this could have been avoided.

7 Responses to “Let’s Take a Break From Politics For a Life Lesson: Presenting Your Daily Moment of Moral Clarity and Useful, Practical Advice”

  1. JeffS says:

    Ol’ Alex is going to be the butt of jokes for a long time to come.

  2. Dave E. says:

    It’s obvious that some of those frat boys were poorly reared.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    No no no, I really was drunk off my ass!

  4. JeffS says:

    Maybe some of those frat boys are studying to be proctologists, and this was extra credit.

  5. mojo says:

    “You can always count on your buddies…”
    — Sam Kinison

  6. Crusader says:

    He”ll graduate #2 in his class, I’m sure.

  7. Gunslinger says:

    An inability to handle alcohol will always get you in the end.

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