So He’s Gone

Our Dad died earlier this evening after a long wasting illness that took a much more severe turn over the past oh six or so months and then really accelerated in the last month as, well, as these things just do. It’s something that of course happens to everyone but it just doesn’t seem like some shared universal human event when it’s your father, does it? The emotions, the memories, the laughs, the tears, the regrets; they all come crashing ashore like the waves in a chaotic storm.

Several of us had planned to go down and visit him this weekend, but we got THE CALL early last week so we hastily rearranged flights and met for one last visit, and I’m so glad we did. Yes, his body had wasted away to but a drawn haggard husk of the mighty bear of a man he once was, at nearly 6’6″ tall and easily weighing 260 in his prime. He knew it was the last time we’d be together, and he drew on what reserves of strength he had managed to sequester away to be, well, himself. Yes, he was weak and so so sick but by god he was sharp as a tack and funny. He was always fond of puns and wordplays, and he brought his “A” game to the surface one last time with us (and honestly I hadn’t heard him in such form in years); we should have hopped in the bed because he had us in stitches. They say a bulb always burns brightest right before it burns out, and last Thursday he was radiant.

So I’m very blessed that my last memory of him was him being him, and I will always treasure that final gift.

17 Responses to “So He’s Gone”

  1. Gunslinger says:

    You have my most heartfelt condolences, Mr. Bingley.

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    thanks guns 🙂

  3. Mark says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    There’s a wonderfully simple Jewish expression that I think of when someone passes “May his memory be a blessing”.

  4. Thomas Pfau says:

    Sorry for your loss. Glad you got to have a memorable time with hime before he passed.

  5. Mr. Bingley says:

    thanks for your kind words. He’s at rest.

  6. gregor says:

    So very sorry for your loss, my condolences to your family.

  7. aelfheld says:

    My deepest condolences.

    Requiescat in pace.

  8. Fausta says:

    My heartfelt condolences

  9. Kathy Kinsley says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that. My father died a while back. I still miss him.

    Remember his life, not his death. Believe me, it does help.

  10. JeffS says:

    My condolences.

  11. Mr. Bingley says:

    thanks friends 🙂

  12. leelu says:

    Bing, so, so sorry to hear of your loss. Condolences and prayers.

  13. Bagley says:

    My condolences and prayers for your family.

  14. Chancy*girl says:

    We are never ready for this. But how very wonderful your last visit was a great one. Hugs to all!

  15. Syd B. says:

    Going through similar emotional turmoil with both my in-laws, as they near the end together. I’m convinced that they both have had enough with their current state of low quality life and are simply waiting to move on. They put on a show for the family when we all visit, but I can see the struggle in their eyes.

    Mr. B, my condolences and may you enjoy those wonderful and comforting memories of your father for the rest of your days.

  16. Mr. Bingley says:

    thanks, it helps more than we can say to hear from y’all.

  17. tree hugging sister says:

    Thank you guys. I have just looked come over here for the first time since we lost Daddy and you all make me sniffle and smile in such a good way.

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