The Fed Meets

And says the economy sucks worse than they thought before but they have no bullets left and they won’t try and reload for another year or two.

Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in June indicates that economic growth so far this year has been considerably slower than the Committee had expected. Indicators suggest a deterioration in overall labor market conditions in recent months, and the unemployment rate has moved up. Household spending has flattened out, investment in nonresidential structures is still weak, and the housing sector remains depressed.

Oh and the President is a poopy head.

Hmm, I may have gotten a copy that wasn’t approved for release.

5 Responses to “The Fed Meets”

  1. Yojimbo says:

    And those were the strong aspects of the economy.

    Three dissents, I think, not real good.

  2. aelfheld says:

    Maybe the Fed should have talked to Mr. Seto about how not to do that.

  3. Mark says:

    I remember when a Double Dip meant something good… Start typing double dip in Google and it doesn’t start with chocolate or ice cream any more… Google assumes you’re looking for the 2011 recession.

  4. Hm, I like your unofficial release. Makes it more…apt.

  5. nightfly says:

    “The economy remains in serious condition today, but doctors are hopeful for recovery, now that it is no longer surrounded by a mob pummeling it.

    “‘The assailants deserve a lot of credit for this breakthrough,’ said Chief Shaman Tim Geithner in a statemment. ‘They did the economy a huge service by running out of horrible things to do to it.’

    “‘If not for their efforts to completely surround and subdue the economy, we might never have even known it needed the help,’ he continued. ‘It would have just been walking around healthy all this time, and we would have been powerless.’

    “‘Hopefully now the healing can really get underway.'”

    Way to go, President Awsum.

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