Well I’m Not Young

And I’m not very professional

Drunk young professionals’ late-night cookery blamed for a quarter of house fires in London

A new generation of hard-living City boys and girls are living up to the infamous ‘Flaming Ferraris’ image as new figures revealed they are responsible for one-in-four house fires in London.

…The study also revealed they are likely to have degrees, live in smart rented flats, enjoy keeping fit and drink alcohol more than three times a week.

The Brigade is concerned young professionals are not taking the risk of fire seriously enough. A lot of fires among this group happen after people have been drinking.

…A typical scenario will involve a young professional returning home, starting cooking and forgetting about it, leaving pots and pans to catch fire. It is hoped the figures will remind young, successful Londoners to take extra care and protect themselves from fire.

How can one start cooking and forget about it?

Coming home from the pub after a few too many drinks and starting cooking can be a recipe for disaster.

See, that’s their problem right there. I don’t start cooking after drinking; I drink during the cooking.



7 Responses to “Well I’m Not Young”

  1. gregor says:

    seriously, if during the course of a culinary adventure you don’t end up impersonating the Swedish Chef from the Muppets, from a bit too much of the grape, it takes away from the final result, no?

  2. Mr. Bingley says:


    You’ve been in my kitchen, gregor; you know he’s my idol!

  3. Ave says:

    I cook with wine and sometimes I put it in the food.

  4. aelfheld says:

    One for the pot, one for the cook.

  5. Dr Alice says:

    When I cook I don’t start drinking till I’m done with food prep/chopping. A fire is bad enough. A fire and missing digits is even worse.

  6. mojo says:

    “I’m drinking, he’s driving.”

  7. Dr Alice says:

    Bridget Jones, call your office.

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