I Haven’t Forgiven Them Since They Reformulated Twinkies Filling in the Mid-70′s or So

Tastes like ass, quite frankly. Broke my heart. I’ve only ever loved WonderBread crust, because the middle’s a mushy mess. But “better living through chemicals” as Kcruella as always says, since their things are CHEAP, impervious to the temperature swings of your average urchin’s lunch bag and have the shelf-life of petrified dinosaur dung.

But any whangdoodles that want to strike while the rest of us are LOOKING for jobs ~ and your parent company is already IN bankruptcy reorganization ~ can suck a stone or the last bits of vile filling.

Whatever’s left in the pot.

I hope everyone who went along with the cuts to keep the company afloat let fling with a few choice words at the assholes who sunk the ship and put them all out on the street. (Sounds like the folks who voted for Gary Johnson, eh? Oh, YEAH! You, GO, Libertarians, big strong guys!)

ths update: Hostess wasted no time updating TwinkieCentral’s website:

Hostess Brands is Closed.

We are sorry to announce that Hostess Brands, Inc. has been forced by a Bakers Union strike to shut down all operations and sell all company assets. For more information, go to hostessbrands.info. Thank you for all of your loyalty and support over the years.

Sheesh. **sniffle**

The Atkins’ twits took out Prince Spaghetti and now THIS.

Another shoe from my childhood drops like a stone into the pool of oblivion.

ths update:

DAWG:

“URGENT WILL TRADE ENTIRE NUCLEAR ARSENAL FOR LAST EXISTING BOX OF TWINKIES CONTACT ME ON MYSPACE,” tweeted @KimJongNumbuhOne.

7 Responses to “I Haven’t Forgiven Them Since They Reformulated Twinkies Filling in the Mid-70′s or So”

  1. aelfheld says:

    Wonder how those 18,000 jobs disappearing into thin air are going to affect the BLS’ number-cookery? Wouldn’t be surprised to see another ‘drop’ in unemployment.

  2. JeffS says:

    I’m sure that the magic bean counters in BLS will cook the numbers in favor of President Zero, aelfheld.

    But that may be a daunting task, even for those wizards. Because there’ll likely be a cascade effect from shutting down those plants. Suppliers, truckers, printers, what have you. It’ll be ugly, I’m sure.

    And no doubt Queen Michelle is smiling, since this is another victory on her War On Food.

  3. Gary from Jersey says:

    How I’ll miss those chemicals rolling around in my mouth. Damn stupid unions.

  4. major dad says:

    Will they even show up in the numbers? I don’t think they qualify for unemployment and until they actually apply for it they won’t show up in the numbers.

  5. Kathy Kinsley says:

    Damn. One of the few things my father (with no sense of smell and little appetite) will eat. (And I’m NOT KIDDING). Twinkies/devil dogs, etc. I’m going to be hard-pressed to keep him over 50 pounds without them.

    Can I sue someone? PLEASE?

  6. Kate P says:

    I’m kinda not surprised, considering that Tastykake was sold to a company down south not too long ago. But it’s still sad.

  7. Greg Newsom says:

    I think it’s all a conspiracy.
    First plastic bags are banned,now Hostess twinkies,cupcakes,Snowballs(I never liked those)are gone.
    They want us all to ride bikes,watch soccer,eat tofuu
    and live like Chinese peasants.
    The government is going to ban fireworks next,you watch.
    Except,China makes money from them so they don’t want to
    hurt the Chinese economy because Soros might get mad.

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