The Kid Doesn’t Have a Leg to Stand On

…so they won’t let him play.

It’s halftime of a game in Dayton on Sept. 16 — Colonel White High against Mount Healthy. After Colonel White leaves the locker room, the refs approach the coaches on the sideline. Crew chief Dennis Daly announces, “Number 99 cannot play in this game anymore. He’s not wearing shoes, knee pads or thigh pads.”
Head coach Earl White just stares at him.
“But he doesn’t have any legs!” White says.

“Sorry,” Daly says. “It’s the rule.”

Not anymore, it’s not.

A Program Note ~ Kolchak is Back

…ain’t it ain’t half bad. We were all pleasantly surprised by the premiere episode of “The Night Stalker“. Hard to believe they could come close to the quirkiness of the original in this day and age, but they did. It was also beautifully filmed, like they took time with it.

Ever since Fox got too full of themselves, straying from the X-Files, Millenium and Brimstone that made us Fox fans to begin with, TV just hasn’t been as creepy…or as fun. Maybe there’s hope for the ghouls among us.

“This Country is Not Worth Dying For.”

Mayor Koch begs to differ.

Many Americans, myself included, now see her as a person who has come to enjoy the celebratory status accorded to her by the radicals on the extreme left who see America as the outlaw of the world. These radicals are not content to be constructive critics. They are bent on destroying this country.
Some of them want to turn America into a radical socialist state. Others hope to create a utopia. But regardless of their agendas, how can Cindy Sheehan’s supporters defend her shameful statement, “This country is not worth dying for.”

He points out that America’s not buying the ‘died for a lie’.

Those who rail against the United States have simply failed to sell their message to the public at large. They keep losing elections, local as well as national. Rather than broadening their appeal, they have narrowed it.
I supported and still support the war in Iraq, because our Congress and President had every right to rely on the advice of the CIA that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. On Sunday, September 25, 2005, Tim Russert of Meet The Press, summed up the situation prevailing before the war, saying, “…post September 11th, there was a fear of terrorism, an inability to know whether there were weapons of mass destruction by the public or by the media. George W. Bush said there were. Bill and Hillary Clinton said there were. The Russians, French and Germans, who opposed the war, said there were. Hans Blix of the UN said there were.
…Of course, Sheehan has the right to state her opinion in a country she believes shouldn’t be defended. We who disagree with her statements, we who believe this country deserves our thanks, love and willingness to defend it, also have the right to express our views. Speak up, America.

We’re certainly glad you did, Your Honor.

Here Comes the Sun, Doot n Doo Doo

Scientists clueless? When Leonardo was on top of it all those centuries ago?

Amazingly, one of the best techniques for measuring Earth’s albedo is to watch the Moon, which acts like a giant mirror. Sunlight that reflects of Earth in turn reflects off the Moon and can be measured from here. The phenomenon, called earthshine, was first noted by Leonardo da Vinci.

They are still working up the definitive paper on moonshine and it’s effects. You should have seen the grant request for that one! (Well, actually, Harry Reid did, but that’s a whole ‘nuther post. I’d provide a link, but it hasn’t made MSNBC’S radar yet. Go figure.)
Anyway, these two Duke rocket scientists have upset the Kyoto Cabal by publishing a paper online, which has the begonias and kumquats to suggest that that big, old hot (for non-rocket scientists, that would be a surface temp of 6,000°C (11,000°F).), flaming ball of molten goo on the horizon might have something to do with Global Warming! Horse puckey, you say? They beg to differ, even going so far as to infer that maybe there hadn’t been enough measuring over a long enough period.

The new study is based in part on Columbia University research from 2003 in which scientists found errors in how data on solar brightness is interpreted. A gap in data, owing to satellites not being deployed after the Space Shuttle Columbia disaster, were filled by less accurate data from other satellites, Scafetta says.
The Duke analyses examined solar changes over 22 years versus 11 years used in previous studies. The cooling effect of volcanoes and cyclical shifts in ocean currents can have a greater negative impact on the accuracy of shorter data periods.

The conservative impact?

“The Sun may have minimally contributed about 10 to 30 percent of the 1980-2002 global surface warming,” the researchers said in a statement today.

There are enterprising folks out there, wracking their brains for fixes, everything from a “space ring” around the earth made of particles, to the Big Lots version called “Ring of Tiny Space Craft“;

Deploying tiny spacecraft would come at a relative bargain: a mere $500 billion tops.

Well, thank God someone’s on top of it. I can’t wait to hear the howls, if this angle ever makes it to, oh, say…MSNBC or somebody.

Driving Into the Sunset

Ford bids adieu to gas-guzzling Excursion
Ford Motor bade farewell on Friday to one of America’s most infamous gas-guzzling sport-utility vehicles, just days after committing to a sharp increase in more fuel-efficient hybrid and ethanol-powered vehicles.
The last 19 ft-long Excursion, equipped with a V-10 engine – nicknamed the Ford Valdez by environmentalists after the supertanker that ran aground in Alaska in 1989 – rolled off a Ford assembly line in Louisville, Kentucky, after six years on the market.

I’ll bet they weren’t quite as popular anymore. It’s not so much the cost of a tank of gas, though…

Filling the Excursion’s 44-gallon fuel tank cost about $133 in southern California this week, $41 more than a year ago.

…as how often you have to fork over the cash to fill said tank. Years ago, I remember listening to the Car Talk guys yakking about an info feature they had on their website. It’s not there anymore, but it used to be an unvarnished Tom and Ray opinion about almost any make or model. When we popped in the Excursion, what verdict popped up as the very first sentence?

There is no reason on earth for anybody to own this car.

HAH! Not ONLY is Lileks NOT a Journalist

…he is also not a scientist!

No, Hugh, I think you’re absolutely right. And it’s fascinating to me to see how the pride and the chest thumping that went on after Katrina, the media had finally grown their kumquats back, and they were going to stick it to the administration. Now it seems to have been replaced by sort of a muttered coughing and a looking away, and saying oh my.

::sniff:: Here at the Swilling, we walk the walk and talk the anatomically correct talk.
Kumquats. Pffft.


…is futile.

Wal-Mart takes control of Japanese retailer
Move will turn 400-store Seiyu into subsidiary

Welcome to the hive.

Evolution at Work, Episode III

Bingley Goes to Home Depot.

For the first time, biologists have documented gorillas in the wild using simple tools, such as poking a stick in a swampy pool of water to check its depth or to scrape out earwax*…

Mbeli Baia located in Nouabale-Ndoki National Park…

Say Mbeli Baia, Nouabale-Ndoki three times fast.
*(Okay, busted. Yes, we added that.)

Happy Birthday Sweet Daughter

I Love You!

I Guess the Contractor’s Off the Hook

Remember Bob Livingstone saying whoever the contractor was who built the 17th Street levee had a big problem?
Not so fast.

They reveal that when the floodwall on the 17th Street Canal was built a decade ago, there were major construction problems — problems brought to the attention of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers.
A 1998 ruling, by an administrative judge for the Corps’ Board of Contract Appeals, shows that the contractor, Pittman Construction, told the Corps that the soil and the foundation for the walls were “not of sufficient strength, rigidity and stability” to build on.
…Pittman won the contract in 1993. There already was an earthen levee made of soil. Embedded in that was a thin metal wall called sheet piling. The contractor was hired to pour concrete on top of all that to form the flood wall.
But the 1998 documents — filed as part of a legal dispute over costs — indicate the contractor complained about “weakness” of the soil and “the lack of structural integrity of the existing sheet pile around which the concrete was poured.” The ruling also referenced the “flimsiness” of the sheet piling.
The construction company said as a result of these problems the walls were shifting and “out of tolerance,” meaning they did not meet some design specifications. Nevertheless, the Army Corps of Engineers accepted the work.

Wow. This ‘government stuff’ is turning out to be quite a racket! You basically get to wear a bullet proof ‘Bite Me‘ T-shirt. I can do this awfully with my eyes closed. Where do I sign up?

The Daily Howler Via The Governor Blameco School of Tap-Dance

New Orleans finest never, ever cease to astonish and amaze. Now they’ve turned Pet Psychic and are channeling…wait…wait…it’s getting clearer…Bill Clinton!
[cue: unearthly voice with southern twange]”Depends what your definition of looting is.”

New Orleans police launch investigation into reports officers looted
…Police spokesman Marlon Defillo said police are looking into the possibility that up to 12 officers were involved in misconduct.
The Police Department has 1,750 officers.
He rejected the use of the term “looting” but said authorities were investigating “the possibility of appropriation of non-essential items during the height of Katrina, from businesses.”

A Swill Salute to Michelle Malkin, while Blackfive has thoughtfully linked to the instructional video.

First Place in the AL East

one game ahead.
A-Rod, in the meantime…

A-Rod’s historic HR gives Yankees lead
47th blast in victory over Orioles breaks DiMaggio’s team record

…is a God.
UPDATE: In the words of Phil Collins, “Tonight, tonight, tonight, whoa oh!”

Aaron Small took a one-hitter into the seventh inning to improve to 10-0, and the Yankees got homers from Jason Giambi and Hideki Matsui in cruising past the Orioles 8-4 on Thursday night.

Minivans Have Friends In High Places

The Minivan Manly Men Club gets a new member.
UPDATE: At least he’s got a job now.

The vote was 78-22.

Governor Blameco Goes to Washington

Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Babineaux Blanco, blamed by the former leader of the Federal Emergency Management Agency and New Orleans Mayor C. Ray Nagin for many of the city’s post-hurricane problems, was given no questions about her response to Hurricane Katrina when she appeared before a Senate committee to plead for more federal money.
She asked not to be questioned about it and the senators agreed.

Like I said below ~ a free pass.

Shall I Sing The Glory Of The Can?

I have tried to rein in my disappointment, I truly have, for those canned recipes below. Oh, sure, Suzette’s cheddar cheese soup pie is exciting, a thing of beauty in fact, but all of these recipes contain one fatal flaw: something not out of a can. Now, I admit that Keith’s recipe comes closest to what I’m looking for, to what I truly expect from such a distinquished group of contributers, but to raise the level of the discourse I must present my bride’s world famous
5 Can Casserole
1 can tuna
1 small can evaporated milk
1 can chicken noodle soup
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can chow mein noodles
Mix all the cans in 1 1/2 qt casserole (open them first, Ken), and bake uncovered at 350º for 45 minutes uncovered. Let it sit for a few minutes after taking it out, as the temp is still nukular.
Now eat it.
This, my friends, is the highest pinnacle of mid-western cuisine.

Turn the Fan On

The excrement’s already starting to fly. Woof! Didn’t take those weasely wasscally Dems but an hour to put out a schmear on Dreier. Of course, if he is gay, he’s a dummy for just not saying so. Who cares? But it begs the question; how far up someone’s butt do you get to climb to try to make/find your point? Like looking into the adoptions of Judge Roberts’ kids. The whole thing’s disgusting, the whole dirt scraping, all means necessary thing. If he went to teas run by the Chinese and took M.O.N.E.Y., then do something about it. Or if he’s an axe murderer, perjurist, congressional intern philanderer, an ‘I dare you to catch me’ Gary Hart type, or Kiwi Squid pornographer, then DO something about it. Otherwise, leave people to be judged on their merits A.L.O.N.E.. And to be able to expect some amount of peace in a public life.

Another Norf Cacklelackey Friend of Crusader’s

Police Find Missing Man Driving Dead Deer In Ambulance
JACKSONVILLE, Fla.A man reported missing from a Florida hospital was found in North Carolina dressed like a doctor and driving a stolen ambulance with a dead deer wedged in the back, authorities said…
…”I don’t know how the man got it up in there,” said Sgt. Robert Pearson. “It was a six point buck.”

It was awesome!

Serenity was really a fun movie. Even the CAG was impressed. I would give it 4 1/2 out of 5 Stars, due to a weak initial chase scene (cheesy) and the first song in the movie was way to loud and fast for the rest of the soundtrack. Lots of Mummy/Indiana Jones-type ironic humor, and they did a great job of not showing you much of the Reapers(Thanks Mike!) Reivers, making them more menacing with the mystery. I may even pay to see it again.

Minister: “France Is Not An Ass to Kiss!”

WHOOPS! Typo. Heh. Goofy me.

Minister rejects ‘Asterix’ image of France
Gérard Larcher, France’s employment minister, said on Monday that US and UK investors were unfairly writing off France as “an Asterix village” for its outspoken state intervention, even though it was the world’s third biggest destination for foreign investment.

HP said “piss-off” to negotiations earlier by virtue of their €700m ($839m, £475m) paid in taxes in France. Never fear, the French have leapt into the competitive fray.

The French government is planning to spend €1.5bn over three years to develop 67 “poles of competitiveness” across the country, as well as a further €3bn for high-technology companies from the newly created agency for innovation. These plans are intended to attract more foreign investment.

Ooooh, very nice. Soon they’ll have a Ministry of Silly Walks, too.

Delay Indicted

If he’s convicted, boot his butt.

In Honor of Hep Cats, Cool Daddios and Maxwell Smart: Regrettable Recipes

In a horrible confluence of epic proportions, the Fates have seen fit to gather Get Smart, Mr. Summers’ Maynardisms and the arrival of two canned soup recipe cards, all in one two-day period. These events, in turn, call to mind the ghastly pictures in Mr. Lileks book. Having been thusly traumatized (and one who never ignores edicts from outside our earthly realm), I have declared today shall be henceforth know as:

The Official Canned Condensed Cream Soup Recipes Day

I shall start by sharing the two questionable treasures sent to me from the remote mountainous region of New Jersey, then encourage you to add those Citadels of Sodium and Titans of Tin culled from your memory/recipe banks.

Read more »

Some People Have Too Much Time on Their Hands

In 2003, New Zealand marine biologists laid a sex trap.
They ground up some squid gonads, believing that the scent would drive male giant squids wild as the creatures migrated through New Zealand waters.
The hope was that a camera would squirt out the pureed genitals and a passing squid, driven into a sexual frenzy, would then mate with the lens — a project that, some may be relieved to hear, never came to fruition.

I don’t have to say any more, other than be amazed to see the word ‘gonads‘ used in an news agency release. Pretty technical stuff, that.

What An Amazing Statement From a Member of Congress

“We don’t spend a million dollars so we can have an excercise. We spend a million dollars so we can learn.”

Chris Shays grandstanding to Michael Brown on C-Span just now (no transcripts or video link yet). What a despicable bunch, but I have to give Brown credit. He’s not taking it sitting down, he’s giving it back. They are raking him over the coals right now

“That’s less than 24 hours before the storm. How are people supposed to evacuate then?”

Shays is asking the wrong frickin’ person. Free pass to Mayor Noggin and Governor Blameco.

“That’s why I’m glad you left. That look of deer in the headlights…I want to know what you did to co-ordinate?”

The same Mayor who gets to stay Mayor of New Orleans, mind you, even though he has already purchased a home, moved his family to his primary residence and enrolled his daughter in school in Dallas. The same Mayor whose cell phone rings during a press conference and he checks to see who’s calling. As Radioblogger asks:

What do you suppose people would have said if Rudy Giuliani had “Cleveland Rocks” as his ringtone as they were still cleaning up the mess at Ground Zero?

Indeed. A class act all around.

Jeez, I Hope We Had Something to Do With This

Today’s warm fuzzy.

New Orleans police chief resigning
Move follows disclosure that many officers left posts during Katrina

UPDATE: The Gateway Pundit has put the ‘oh, SO did NOT happen’ events noted below, Katrina BS-wise, in order. (He’s so much more organized than I am.)
UPDATE DEUX: The Times-Picayune weighs in.

Unfortunately, during the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, some of the most lurid rumors of violence in the Superdome and the New Orleans Convention Center came from those in charge: Mayor Ray Nagin and Police Superintendent Eddie Compass. And now it appears they were mostly false.

Do tell, do tell…

Aside From Your Bartender, Who Has…

Absolute Moral Authority?
(not counting Ken, of course)
Ken has the answer.

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