Hoppy Burfday To The Bestest Sister EVUH

THS!!!

THS!!!

Happy Birthday THS!!!

WHO Are the Haters

…NOW?

Biden should have to wear his shame like a scarlet letter on his jammies.

Big Tent Party

WHO says we’re not inclusive?

More of: Life With ths

If anyone was startled by the sound of a man howling something in the middle of the street last night, I apologize.

It was my husband.

The neighbors had moved out, and left their ghastly birdbath – which I had LONG coveted – ON. THE. CURB.

I saw it sitting there, in pieces, forlornly gracing the side of the road just a smidge after 9 as we were walking Maggie.

“Puta madre! I MUST HAVE IT!“

major dad. “Oh, HELL, no.”

On the way back, I snatched up the top piece – a lifelike sculptural representation of two doves, cooing lovingly at each other (Kinda like me and him, no? Okay, no.), and hoofed it home, ALL THE WHILE listening to “WE’RE NOT TAKING THAT.” I was prepared to go it alone, as always. “I’ll get the dolly. Never you mind.”

So, well, he gets the car (), we pop down the street, and hoist the remaining two (what seem like 70 lbs a piece) sections into the trunk. And, before closing said lid, he throws his arms to the sky and wails.

“I MARRIED FRED SANDFORD!!!!“

Like I said, sorry.

Man. That birdbath is SO ugly, it’s bitchin’. #score

UPDATE: Since certain people in the comments can’t leave well enough alone…

Kittehs

Pirate kittehs.

Oh Somehow I Don’t Think This Is The First Time

Hillary has written quite a lot of fiction before.

But, hey, at this point what does it matter?

In Life, Be Rigorous and Never, EVER

…let your front “fall off.”

An Evening for Scotsmen

A happy Robert Burns Night to my fellow Scots (Clan MacEwan, Barony of Otter here), and those who wish they could be!

In a bit of a quandary, as I’d like to celebrate in more than spirit, BUT. I’m nae a Scotch drinker, and, perusing traditional, haggis-free Scottish side dish recipes, I find they’re all just as loathsome and bland as the food was when I spent ten days rambling around the homeland of my ancestors and my own heart.

God help me, I love it all, but they can’t cook for shit.

However YOU celebrate, a wonderful evening to you, and lang may yer lum reek!

“Some hae meat and canna eat,

And some wad eat that want it,

But we hae meat and we can eat,

And sae the Lord be thankit.”

Busy Weekend

The Squid Terrorist decided we needed to get going installing the fortress battlements between the houses (also known as: new, IMPROVED, ‘try knocking THIS down, you hurricanes, you‘ fence).

Then major dad worked his magic over an oak fire for a perfect Santa Maria tri-tip Sunday supper.

NOW it can it rain.

The Gift

…that keeps on giving.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BINGLEY!!!

Birthday Breakfast Done Right

In Her Darkest Hour…

An Idaho Falls man and two others were in hot water after being found with cooking pots and two chickens in a thermal area of Yellowstone National Park.

A ranger received reports on Aug. 7 that a group was hiking toward Shoshone Geyser Basin with cooking pots, a park spokeswoman told EastIdahoNews.com Friday. The ranger responded and discovered two whole chickens in a burlap sack sitting in a hot spring with a cooking pot nearby.

A Musical Dedication

…based on current events and breaking news.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BINGLEY!!

Another year gone, and more wisdom gained.

You are our inspiration, our intellectual leader, and our idol.

Never change.

NOBODY Touches the Toys

NO. BODY.

What Kids SHOULD Be Doing

And I salute their parents.

Oh Joe Joe Joe

Not sure this was *quite* the phrase you wanted

“No man has a right to raise a hand to a woman in anger, other than self-defense and that rarely ever occurs,” he said. “So we have to just change the culture. Period.”
Then he maybe took it too far, adding, “And keep punching at it and punching at it and punching at it,” making matching punching motions with his fist.

Just Because

“Capitalism Is Killing Me”

So I’m walking back to my office and I see a young lady doing a slow, writhey sort of dance in front of the Old Federal Reserve building on Wall Street, right below the statue of George Washington.

I noticed that she had a large cardboard sign that says “capitalism is killing me.”

Everyone else seemed to only notice the fact that she was topless (and lacking tan lines).

Who knew capitalism targeted shirts first?

Cockadoodledone

I’m thinking that leaving rice cookers in a subway station is the least of his problems

According to police in West Virginia, Griffin was charged in 2017 for showing a video to a minor that involved him having sex with a chicken. The case is still pending.

You know, every now and then you read one of those sentences that you just could never imagine reading.

Who Dat Burfday Boy?

It Wasn’t Me. I Swear.

I have an alibi.

[slurp]

And if I don’t, I’ll invent one:

A Florida seafood company is less than happy that someone decided to loot its oysters. So they’re offering a reward for information that leads to an arrest and conviction.
On Tuesday, Pensacola Bay Oyster Co. learned that 17,000 oysters were stolen from its East Bay property, according to a Pensacola Oyster instagram post.

I Can’t Access The Story

(it’s behind an Aussie paywall) but with a headline like this, I really don’t need to:

“Traumatic effect of beheading on boy who hid in house”

This Is The Funniest Thing You’ll Read All Week

Thanks to Ace, I will say up front I feel very sorry for this guy’s kids, it’s horrible what he’s put them through, but sweet baby Jeebus I swear it’s impossible to read through this without laughing out loud several times:

“The Most Gullible Man in Cambridge A Harvard Law professor who teaches a class on judgment wouldn’t seem like an obvious mark, would he? “