Dear Max Mayfield

“We’re actually not sure why some of these are not developing,” he said.

STFU, already. Seriously.
Now, on a lighter note. Swillers are very familiar with my ‘tale of woe’ radar shots of hurricanes and tropical storms pounding the hallowed shores of Bangla-cola. Over and over again, like a bad record. I wanted to take this opportunity to present even more reason why, if you should learn that major dad and I have moved anywhere near your neighborhood…you should leave immediately. Just take the dogs/cats and go.
North Carolina’s coast (especially the Onslow/Pender/New Hanover counties) hadn’t taken a direct hit from a storm of any magnitude since 1934. We moved there in 1993.


This is 1996. And it’s not ONE storm, it’s TWO. In the identical spot and identical path.


Bertha ~ one of the earliest Cape Verde storms on record ~ came ashore as a strong Cat 2. (We’d gone to bed because it was going into Myrtle Beach, SC ~ shades of me not worrying about Ivan because “it’s going to Biloxi.” Right. )
56 days later, Fran landfalled within 5 miles of where Bertha had come ashore as a Cat 3. The radar shots of the two were sold as “The Eyes of ’96″. I didn’t buy one. But there were a wealth of incredible ‘before and afters’.
Pre-Bertha.
Post-Bertha.
56 days later.
We were happy to be a smidge inland.

2 Responses to “Dear Max Mayfield”

  1. Dave E. says:

    From a Minnesota perspective, where tornados are the most feared storms: “THS and Major Dad-The human trailer park”.
    Uh, I just meant that as far as storms are concerned. Uh, nothing else was implied. Nothing. Seriously.

  2. That 1 Guy says:

    That damn global warming is screwing up hurricane season!

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