…on the wonders of a proper mater sammich and the importance of pure and unadulterated ingredients. Let there be no Cracker compromises or heresies polluting our verdant culinary tradition.
…Secondly it has to have mayonnaise on it. Real mayonnaise – not “lite” or aioli or any other nasty concoction that’s low on cholesterol. Mayonnaise. Real, honest to goodness, artery clogging Hellman’s. Or Duke’s.
There is a heretic band of Southerners who claim Miracle Whip [ths note: you may have seen this particular vileness referred to here at the Swilling as “curdled cat piss”] is a sanctioned substitute, but purists turn up their nose at such a desecration of a sacred Southern staple.