ABC News (“NEWS“, Mind You) Helpfully Comes Up With 50 Ways to Help Celebrate

…Michelle Obama’s birthday. As if it wasn’t already festive enough, with 24 days in Hawaii, being First Lady and all the EVERYDAY stuff, you and I are supposed to help out in spirit. Because she’s, like, a God-dess we worship, or something.

Now you know. Pick a number. Or two or three, since Michelle’s not into any sort of holding back on entertaining herself, so why should you?

Although that Number 8…

8. Buy a Jason Wu dress

…is gonna take me a leetle longer than I’d like. Her lazy a$$, golf-playing husband needs to PIVOT TO JOBS again for me to pull that off and still be able to feed the Scotties and the stray cat.

ths update: INTERESTING things going on in the comments! people are, as you might imagine, looking a bit askance at ABC’s suggestions…well, nay, the ENTIRE PIECE, and then some silly twit had to go say THIS to answer a critique:

ExJon • 33 minutes ago
I must have missed ABCNews’ “50 Ways to Celebrate Laura Bush’s Birthday.”
6 •Reply•Share ›

Cynda P. ExJon • 32 minutes ago ?
Yes, number 1 should have been “Get away with vehicular homicide.” Say what you will about Michelle Obama, but at least she didn’t kill anyone.

Oh, don’t you KNOW I got a little hot under the bathrobe collar.

tree hugging sister: SNAPPY! Oh, but I’ll bet ANYTHING you just think Teddy Kennedy was the cat’s meow and wept bitter tears when he passed. But …

There WAS more. But someone on the ABC board deleted it. And my SUBSEQUENT comment with a “HEY! Mentioning Ted Kennedy gets DELETED, but you LEAVE “LAURA BUSH KILLS PEOPLE“?!” went into the ether shortly thereafter without even the benefit of a “comment deleted” indignity. BUT, by God, ‘Laura Bush is a killer and Michelle isn’t’ is STILL there. So they do.

There are also more comments disappearing over there displaying a certain antipathy to the Imperial O’s than you can shake a stick at. Amazingly, anything HATEFUL about the Bushes is remaining in situ…

ths update redux: Okay. ‘Laura Bush killed somebody‘ is STILL there, I’ve been vaporized FIVE times (some with NO Ted Kennedy at all), BUT I have screen-caps of everything. I’ll get those up later, since I now have to work and it’s a late one.

ths again: 3 HOURS and HATEFUL Laura Bush comment GONE AT LAST.

What took you SO LONG, ABC?

7 Responses to “ABC News (“NEWS“, Mind You) Helpfully Comes Up With 50 Ways to Help Celebrate”

  1. Julie says:

    As a wise person once said, “Don’t wrassle with a pig: you’ll just get dirty, and the pig likes it too much.” Not sayin’ Cynda is a pig, but if the lipstick fits…

  2. Syd B. says:

    Danish Prime Minister, Helle Thorning-Schmidt, is torn on what dress to wear.

  3. Syd B. says:

    #51. Drink a bottle of Clorox.

  4. Mr. Bingley says:

    What about ways to celebrate my 50th?

  5. Gunslinger says:

    Two boxes of Peter Vella Merlot and a “Gamera” DVD box set.

    (with a bottle of Tullamore Dew as backup.)

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    That is perfect!

  7. tree hugging sister says:

    Should dovetail nicely with the small, culinary tokens in an Amazon box arriving on his doorstep tomorrow.

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