All I Can Say Is…

…it’s for REALS.

Code Chaos
Another nightmare for doctors, courtesy of the federal government

Ever considered suicide by jellyfish? Have you ended up in the hospital after being injured during the forced landing of your spacecraft? Or been hurt when you were sucked into the engine of an airplane or when your horse-drawn carriage collided with a trolley?

Chances are slim.

But should any of these unfortunate injuries befall you after October 1, 2014, your doctor, courtesy of the federal government, will have a code to record it. On that date, the United States is scheduled to implement a new system for recording injuries, medical diagnoses, and inpatient procedures called ICD-10?—?the 10th version of the International Classification of Diseases propagated by the World Health Organization in Geneva, Switzerland.

So these exotic injuries, codeless for so many years, will henceforth be known, respectively, as T63622A (Toxic effect of contact with other jellyfish, intentional self-harm, initial encounter), V9542XA (Forced landing of spacecraft injuring occupant, initial encounter), V9733XA (Sucked into jet engine, initial encounter), and V80731A (Occupant of animal-drawn vehicle injured in collision with streetcar, initial encounter).

Wonder if “Death By Bongo” has a code?

It should.

We’re ALL going to expire from it before this is through.

7 Responses to “All I Can Say Is…”

  1. Julie says:

    Do they have one for “death by satellite” (a la Rick on Northern Exposure)?

  2. aelfheld says:

    Wonder what the code is for ‘death by a thousand forms’?

  3. JeffS says:

    I bet there isn’t any code for “Death By PowerPoint”. Goobermint would collapse if PowerPoint was no more.

  4. Gunslinger says:

    How about the code for “Death by Snu-Snu”?

    (somebody had to ask)

  5. Dr Alice says:

    Step aside, I got this.
    In fairness, we actually do need a new coding system. ICD-9 was established in 1977 and hasn’t been updated much since. For example, HIV (which is a cause of so many different diseases) has minimal coding. Not to mention Ebola and all those other fun viruses. It has made it difficult to include US data for many infections as all we have is “Viral Illness – Other” or something like that. That said, this is going to be a hugely complex process and I’m not looking forward to it. Come October 1st when ICD-10 becomes fully effective, be prepared to see your MD cursing and tearing his or her hair out. More than usual, that is.

  6. JeffS says:

    I’ll take your word for it, Doc.

    Just let me know if there’s a code for “Death by PowerPoint”, would you?


  7. nightfly says:

    ACA637Q5L – Death by Death Panel
    ACA668Q5V – Death by Form-Induced Apoplexy
    ACA813J3K – Toxic Effect of Bureaucratic Harrassment
    ACA904B4T – Inuries, urban setting, Batman-related

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