I’m PISSED at the Post Office, too.

One package for Ebola, to head WEST for 120 miles, to Keesler AFB (Biloxi, just outside little red circle, far left side of map). Lots of USPS trucks heading from here ( BIG RED CIRCLE ) to New Orleans EVERY F*CKING DAY, so just kick it off somewhere around the 110 exit from I-10 and it’ll roll to his barracks door, right? major dad hands it over Monday and I look up the tracking number this morning, so I can alert young spawn to go snatch it up, conceivably this afternoon. 120 miles, right? Trucks go that way EVERY F*CKING DAY, right? Well. Not my day.

Appears said parcel is in Jacksonville F*cking Florida, THREEHUNDREDANDSIXTYMILES EAST of here: FAR RIGHT SIDE of map. Won’t be delivered until about the 11th. That’s Saturday. So Ebola won’t get it until probably Tuesday of NEXT week.

To summarize.

After it’s run the roads the BREADTH of the F*CKING PANHANDLE for OVER A F*CKING WEEK and TRAVELED ALMOST NINE HUNDRED F*CKING MILES package will arrive for final delivery to a place two and a half hours away, in the exact. Opposite. Direction.

Carbon footprint that one.

UPDATE: Alert the media. It’s headed back this a way:

Label/Receipt Number: 0307 1790 0002 1241 4223
Expected Delivery Date: December 11, 2010
Class: Package Services
Service(s): Delivery Confirmation™
Status: Processed through Sort Facility

Your item was processed through and left our JACKSONVILLE, FL 32099 facility on December 07, 2010. The item is currently in transit to the destination. Information, if available, is updated periodically throughout the day. Please check again later.

Feel free to “Where’s Waldo” Ebola’s lost and lonely Air Force package your ownself if you’re bored (all except YOU, Rob) ~ it’s your tax dollars and I don’t mind. Tracking numbers in bold above.

UPDATE REDUX: Thanks to the intrepid David Crawford, we know Percival the Parcel’s last whereabouts to be…wait for it…you’ll never guess…MEMPHIS, TN!!! (Well, DUH! Where else, right?)

Detailed Results:

Processed through Sort Facility, December 08, 2010, 2:42 pm, MEMPHIS, TN 38136
Processed through Sort Facility, December 07, 2010, 10:20 am, JACKSONVILLE, FL 32099
Acceptance, December 06, 2010, 12:34 pm, PENSACOLA, FL 32508

David was also thoughtful enough to calculate that the mileage at this stage of the journey, should it end, stands at 1423 miles. BUT.

As events have so far proven, it ain’t over ’til it’s over.

Wonder where the little bugger’s off to next, courtesy of Uncle Sam?

16 Responses to “And NOW”

  1. Rob says:

    Hey, I’ve been to every one of those circles. Took me 30 years or so. Complaining about a mere week? 🙂 I’ll go sit in the corner now.

  2. tree hugging sister says:

    I hope it’s REALLY cold where you are, too.

    REALLY cold.

  3. JeffS says:

    Your tax dollars at work.

    Oh, and don’t forget: The Post Office runs on a deficit. Now you know why.

  4. nightfly says:

    It’s those stupid bar codes they stick on the front… they help, unless one of them is wrong – and then they STAY wrong forever, unless you blot them out with a dark marker or otherwise force the machine-reader to spit your letter/whatever into a pile to be looked at by a human person.

    We had a misdelivered piece of mail here at the office – several towns off – from an insurance company. It was a hefty thing, so I guessed it was a policy renewal or claims stuff, not a bill; really important, most likely.

    Cue the Elvis music: I stuck it back in the mail to be properly delivered, and it came right back next morning. Wrote “Misdelievered” and got it back the day after that. Wrote in large capital letters and circled the correct address, got it back a third time. Finally dropped it off in person at our local distribution center and talked to the clerk, who markered out the barcode and promised it would never darken our doors again. That finally did it.

  5. Yojimbo says:

    And just think, UPS is one unique quasi-gov’t entity. ObamaCare depends upon dozens of complete gov’t agencies and commissions working in an interdependent process.

    Y’all have a nice day, ya hear.

    Rob:I wouldn’t answer the door if I were you.

  6. Rob says:

    Yeah, well, I’m not the only one here who had better not answer the door, Yojimbo. I didn’t slam the post office. 🙂

  7. JeffS says:

    Were the contents perishable? Should I send one of my special care packages?

  8. Julie says:

    One Christmas the post office delivered a package to me when it should’ve gone to some family across town. So I delivered it myself. Got a plate of homemade cookies as a thank you from the appreciative family. I’m thinking that, at the rate the PO makes mistakes, I could either have a new career (or at least a full belly) redelivering packages!

  9. Ebola says:

    Jeff, if it’s one of yer fuckin evil ass special care packages like the one I got in basic? Sure, why not, it was hysterical. 😛

  10. David Crawford says:

    Hey, your package is now in Memphis, Tennessee.

    Detailed Results:

    Processed through Sort Facility, December 08, 2010, 2:42 pm, MEMPHIS, TN 38136
    Processed through Sort Facility, December 07, 2010, 10:20 am, JACKSONVILLE, FL 32099
    Acceptance, December 06, 2010, 12:34 pm, PENSACOLA, FL 32508

    If you go Google maps and do a “get directions” and put in:


    It says the total distance travelled is 1,423 miles. (This is assuming that your package doesn’t stop in any other cities down south prior to getting to Biloxi.)

  11. nightfly says:

    Memphis? Didn’t I tell you to cue the Elvis music? The package went to Graceland!!

  12. JeffS says:

    Wonder where the little bugger’s off to next, courtesy of Uncle Sam?


  13. Heh – about a year ago, a fellow member of a forum I hang about on ordered something from the midwest (KS or OK – can’t remember.) It went to Anchorage before going back to Sarasota… (USPS, of course.)

    Though, to be fair, a couple of months ago, I delivered something from UPS to a neighbor of mine next street over. Got delivered to my door – wrong street, wrong number – but both were (in text) right on the package. I don’t read barcodes, so don’t know if that was wrong.

  14. Ebola says:

    Tucson, Arizona actually Jeff. After I get me CDCs done we’ll see if I can’t con them into letting me back into special operations and doing something more useful than pissing pilots off: like putting bombs on foreheads.

    If they don’t the Marine Corps and AFSOC will have my officer packet shortly thereafter if everything works on my currently figured timeline. We’ll see.

  15. Kathy Kinsley says:

    Oh cool – it now says “Delivered” – question is, did it actually get there?

    I wonder if USPS noticed the wide variations in IP addresses tracking the thing, too – lol.

  16. Ebola says:

    Yeah, I got it, currently munchin on some horrid chocolate. So…tastily…horrid. 😛

Image | WordPress Themes