As In-State Rivalries Go

…DAMN if it doesn’t help to have Marc Caputo rooting for YOUR team:

Opinion: While Florida Gators fans are arrogant, Miami Hurricanes own series record

Unlike the fake genteel Southern charm emanating from Gainesville, UM fans are cosmopolitans. And oh by the way, we do own the series record.

What do you call the Gator fan section at Saturday’s UM-UF game?

A full set of teeth.

OK, that was low. But brace yourself nonetheless, Miami: They’re coming. So break out the earplugs to shut out the banjo music. Pinch your nose to block the stench of the moonshine.

Everything South Florida hates about the Sunshine State’s hinterlands will wear orange and blue and worship the dumbest and meanest of graven-image reptiles at Sun Life Stadium.

Unlike the simple gator of the swamp, though, the Gators of The Swamp are actually complex creatures, walking contradictions. Gators carry themselves like cosmopolitans, replete with a sense of entitlement and an affectation of Southern noblesse oblige entirely out of proportion to the charmless burg of Gainesville.

Make no mistake: Gators are more Honey Boo Boo than Scarlett O’Hara.

It’s a blisterin’.

One Response to “As In-State Rivalries Go”

1. Mr. Bingley says:

   September 6, 2013 at 9:54 am

   b-b-b-but I lurve orange and blue!