Because of Winn-Dixie

If you recognize anyone, adjust their attitudes immediately.

Cashiering Tips 101
I’m your friendly checker. Maybe you call me “the cashier” or “check out girl/lady/register bimbo/whore/missy. I’m a relatively normal person who, for some reason or other, whether it be severe low career expectations, a second job to make up for my insurmountable credit card bills, or to just fuel my alcohol habit, has the relentless task of checking you and your groceries out. I thought maybe some guidelines were in order, to clarify my miserable existence while working my shift.

13 Responses to “Because of Winn-Dixie”

  1. Lisa says:

    That’s some funny stuff. I agree with 99% of it, except it is Q-pon, not coo-pon. Yes, it is. Yes. It. Is.

  2. Nope, it ain’t. Nuh. Uh.

  3. Mr. Bingley says:

    “DeeDee, yoo ahr szo styooopid yoo leff zee qyoo-pahns hohm! now we hwohnt sayf ahnee mahnee!”

  4. Crusader says:

    That is partof why I switched to banking…

  5. NJ Sue says:

    My vote is with Q-pon. The people who say “coo-pon” are the people who don’t use them.

  6. Ah, zweet zistair ala Jairzee, ah moos deezahgray moos strehnyousely! Ah am zee coo-PON usair frome hail. Zhur mohawks/iroquois deed nut count ‘qyupes’, n’est pas? coo-PON, coo-PON, coo-PON!! Ah gives you zee merriamwebsterpeegdog dictionaire types, un le pronunce of fairst choice would be? voila! coo-PON! (noteece pliz, ‘qyu’ doze not rate a ‘pon’, so wrong eez eet)(pfft)
    Main Entry: cou·pon
    Pronunciation: ‘kü-“pän*, ‘kyü-
    Function: noun
    Etymology: French, from Old French, piece, from couper to cut

    *l’omfazees et moi

  7. Ken Summers says:

    Perhaps you can use your Q-pons to buy some Grey Pyoo-pon, and drive home in a little deuce Q-pe. And maybe have a Qp d’etat.
    I’ll stop now.

  8. Kahn, you air won zacksy qyoo-tee.

  9. Ken Summers says:

    Especially when I wear my Cowboy Hat.

  10. J’aime dahk, dangereuse strahnger. Eeez zat a gone en yewer pockeet, or yewer juss le glad to zee moi?

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