Braise The Lard And Pass The Burgers

If you are thin you are selfishly prolonging Dear Gaia’s agony. That is the inescapable conclusion that any rationally intelligent person will draw from this cutting-boardedge research out of that culinary Mecca that is London

ATHENS, Ga. (CBS Atlanta) – A recent study conducted by scientists in London found that the obese persons of the world are playing an increasingly large role in the rate at which the planet’s finite resources are used.

“Increasing population fatness could have the same implications for world food energy demands as an extra half a billion people living on the earth,” the study concluded.

…Research was conducted based on the theory that the body mass of a population should be factored into the amount of energy it burns, in addition to the number of people residing in a certain region.

Though obesity touches all corners of the Earth, it was found that Americans were especially weighing down the planet.

Scientists, obsessed with social control issues, achingly long for ecological DOOM so they can feel relevant outside of their laboratories. In the 1960s, when there were 3 billion or so of us ants, they predicted DOOM. In the 70s, when there were 4 billion of us we were inundated not by the New Ice Age and mass starvations they predicted but rather by the endless stream of Population Bomb articles talking about how we had too many people on Earth Beloved Gaia and that as Men Of Science they could confidently declare that there was NO WAY Gaia’s delicate EcoSystem could sustain those 4 billion through the coming Winter and we would thus starve (unless we invested in SolyndraSoylent Green LLC).

35 years later, we now have 7 billion people.

7 billion fat people who are living longer and healthier than at any time in history.

To celebrate this wondrous Gaia Gorging I’m going to have dinner at The Palm next week. I invite all of you to plan some gluttony of your own.

Do it for the children.

11 Responses to “Braise The Lard And Pass The Burgers”

  1. Gary from Jersey says:

    If America has the most fat people, would that make the planet wobble like a knuckleball?

  2. JeffS says:

    These “scientists” aren’t obsessed with social control issues; they are obsessed with being relevant, seeing as they aren’t scientists in the sense that they fail to use the scientific method.

    No, they are putzes with college degrees and doctorates, computers, and some expensive software. They are bean counters, button sorters, and bottle washers, sucking up to whomever will shell out the cash for a “scientific study” for the cause du jour. That they can pad up their resume with yet another worthless study, in the off chance some university will give them tenure is but gravy. And it might be a shot at getting a Nobel Prize for scientific achievement (which apparently has yet to be watered down, but give the socialists time, and it will be).

    If someone offered cash money to these clowns for a study to see if phlogiston was a factor in the impotence of male emperor penguins, they would grab it with both hands.

    Alas, the envirotards and socialists (but I repeat myself) of the world have the cash. And the attention of these clowns, along with the support of the Lame Stream Media.

  3. JeffS says:

    And, I must say, The Palm looks to have very tasty food. Mmmmmmm, lobster…..

  4. Kathy Kinsley says:

    JeffS, if I ever blog again, and want to post a rant, I’m going to hire you to do it. That was One Fine Rant there.

  5. JeffS says:

    Thank ye, kindly, ma’am!

    This topic touches close to home — as an engineer, I’m well versed in the scientific method, and it disturbs me greatly to see “science” buggered and twisted to fit the interests of our would-be socialist masters. Makes me want to horse whip every last one of them.

  6. Mr. Bingley says:

    Get a room you two!

  7. JeffS says:

    Does it include steak and lobster?

  8. kcruella says:

    Let me know how The Palms is, it’s been on the list.

  9. Mr. Bingley says:

    I’ve been to the Palm in Midtown and I thought the food was fine…and the bloody marys exceptional.

    I reckon this will be very similar. Happily, someone else is picking up the tab, which will enhance the meal immeasurably.

  10. leelu says:

    Mr. B:
    In response to your request, I am planning a post-clearing out of the storage space feast for me and the friends who help. Grilled ribeye, caesar salad (hand-made dressing by yours truly), something in green (maybe asparagus, if its any good), margaritas, and booze-infused homemade ice cream.

    Will that do?

  11. Mr. Bingley says:

    An excellent plan, leelu!

    We had about 4 lbs of mussels last night; can’t let the oceans off the hook in this, can we?

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