Civics Lesson Number 5: How to Get Booted Off a Civil Jury
…by ths.
Right before you head out the door to the courthouse for the fourth day of the trial:
Take 1 ea. 30 lb. scottie. Attach 1 ea. upper and lower opposing fang to the right ear of 1 ea. 102 lb. labradork. Sprinkle blood splatter liberally around front foyer to be noticed ONLY upon saying goodbye to 1 ea. major dad. Who heads out anyway.
Dial Dr. Bill’s number with one hand while applying pressure to flesh wound with other. Leave message.
Dial Judicial Assistant number with one hand while applying pressure to flesh wound with other.
Get excused an hour and a half later.
Reapply pressure to flesh wound.
Works like a charm and only sets you back a couple hundred bucks on any given day.
Fun, Life | tree hugging sister | 
July 1, 2010 8:35 pm
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Oh, boy. My condolences to the Labradork. FYI, I have jury duty in a couple weeks and just got a summons for federal jury duty!!! I have asked them to postpone it for six months; we’ll see what happens.
Holy cow! Jeez, if the dogs didn’t want you to leave, they could’ve written you a poem or something instead. Hope everybody’s doing better.