Like me, I’m sure many of you have been looking for that special metaphor to describe the horrid state of affairs here in Bushy McChimphitler Ville. I mean, Theocracy is so 90s, and, while I admit Gulag does have a certain romantic flair about it, it just seems to fall short somehow. No, what we need is something more historically sweeping, yet still closely tied to the ‘Merkun psyche.
Fear not, gentle surfers, for your prayers (sorry, your desires) have been answered: CSA: The Confederate States of America has arrived (or will soon, I reckon).

Beginning with the British and French forces joining the battle with the Confederacy, thus assuring the defeat of the North at Gettysburg and ensuing battles, the South takes the battle northward and form one country out of the two. Lincoln attempts escape to Canada but is captured in blackface. This moment is captured in the clip of a silent film that might have been.
Through the use of other fabricated movie segments, old government information films, television commercials, newsbreaks, along with actual stock footage from our own history, a provocative and humorous story is told of a country, which, in many ways, frighteningly follows a parallel with our own.
After victory, President Davis brings slavery back to the northern states by offering a tax rebate to businesses and households who will buy and own them. Liberals move to Canada. The nation chooses an expansionist policy and conquers Mexico and South America. As world war looms, the CSA takes a non-aggressive stance toward the Third Reich and their move toward racial purity (although not condoning their wasting of possible slave stock by the Final Solution) and makes a preemptive strike on Japan on December 7, 1941.
Kennedy is assassinated soon after being elected, as it appears he will not only emancipate but also give women the vote. A growing black terrorist base stems from Canada and a Cold War breaks out…complete with the Cotton Curtain being built between the two countries.
Through it all, including a contemporary run for the presidency, we follow a political dynasty, the Fauntroy family, who lead the country through its triumphs and tragedies.
We arrive to a today that, in many ways, we recognize. Although a nation that is content and prosperous, there is a tremendous divide within and suspicious eye without. Current politicians refer to us as two countries and perhaps, other than geographically, there is no difference between Red and Blue or North and South states. We have always struggled as to whether we are the United or Confederate States of America.

Why yes, we have always struggled, haven’t we? Why, just the other day I woke up and said “Tommy, where’s my supper?” before I remembered, silly me, that over 600,000 Americans had died in the Civil War 140 years ago to end slavery. But I can be so silly-brained sometimes. Red State/Blue State, Yankee/Reb, Hitler/Gandhi, Redneck/Suave Urbanite…what’s the difference? La-la-la.
ARGH! These idiots drive me absolutely insane.
(hat tip pugnus mentim)

5 Responses to “CSA”

  1. …frighteningly follows a parallel with our own.
    I gotta get me some a’ whatever it is he’s smokin’! That sh&t must work great!
    So do Willmont and Jacobson get to sit in a special box at the Democratic convention, too?

  2. Mr. Bingley says:

    Probably both of them will fit in MM’s seat, I reckon.

  3. Nightfly says:

    My dad, a big war history buff, would have eaten these guys for lunch and called it junk food.
    1/ The South, in winning the War of Northern Aggression, would likely not have conquered the North, which had four times the manpower and a better industrial base. Neither would Europe, in intervening, have been likely to reuinite the nation: each side would have had allies, and I think there were great advantages to the Old World powers in seeing the breakup of a large New World nation and its vast natural resources and manpower. IOW, the basic premise – that the South takes everything if Europe helps – is self-contradictory, as Europe would not have helped to gain the result the filmmakers desire.
    2/ Slavery, too, would likely not have survived, as the Industrial Revolution increasingly made such labor forces unfeasible.
    3/ An American continent with States’ Rights succeeding in a second Revolution would have developed a far different jurisprudence, economy, and psychology. Would Hawaii have been a Japanese target? Woult it even have been a USA or CSA concern? For that matter, can either have fought the Spanish/American War or given rise to the giants of industry and invention?
    Even for fiction, this is fictuous.

  4. Tributaries says:

    All Around the Blogosphere

    Today, I have only enough of a braincell left to link various articles/blogs that have struck my fancy in the past few days.

    TacJammer reminds everyone that there really were …

  5. Nightfly says:

    Rereading the original article, I think I see the real intention, BTW – the film’s creators, having run out of Nazi/chimp/jackboot ammunition, have found a way to call George W Bush a plantation owner and slave master.

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