My $6 toaster is on the fritz.

I can’t imagine what a new, cheapy, Dollar Store one is gonna set me back in this era of hope and change. Hard as it is to imagine, I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects. Like Bingley. Upsets me if I have to replace them, so I keep them long past where they’re actually optimally functional. Usually right up to the “downright hazardous” stage, where they either spark, flame and emit mercurous vapours, or major dad snatches and dumps them outright, in the interest of continuing low insurance rates.

This is vexing in the extreme and I’m normally so even tempered.

Well, shit. There goes the morning.

9 Responses to “DAMMIT!!!!!!!”

  1. ricki says:

    I would recommend against a Dollar Store toaster; I suspect that’s where the Chinese manufacturers are hiding melamine these days.

  2. Gary from Jersey says:

    Well, there’s always the stove.

  3. Ave says:

    THS don’t bum out, here’s what you really need for those busy mornings:


  4. mojo says:

    “On the Fritz” is an interesting figure of speech. Is there a Germanic-ancestry technician involved? Or is it onomatopoeic for the “pftz” sound of an electrical short?

  5. Laura says:

    You can have my toaster since I won’t be seeing any carby delightful bread in the near future. I think it’s a Kitchen Aid or Sunbeam or something. Now it’s just mocks me.

  6. Donna D. says:

    had to buy a cheapo Sunbeam @9.99 at Walmart after the old toaster stared spewing sparks along with the bagles.
    made me very cranky that day -like parting with an old friend

  7. Rob says:

    Exhale, twirl, exhale again … toast. That’s how my wife does it.

  8. Kate P says:

    The toaster I got for Christmas is awesome–if you use the right size toast, it flies out of the toaster when it’s done. I kid you not. Go with an Oster and you’ll have fun.

    For some reason, my mom thinks that’s a bad thing and apologized for giving it to me.

  9. Dr Alice says:

    My aunt still has her ancient, ancient, ancient press-down-on-the-bread-and-it-sinks-into-the-toaster model. I’m guessing it dates from the fifties. Me, I don’t own one as I rarely make toast. When I do I toast under the broiler.

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